When I was pregnant with Charlie, I had a blast going on Pinterest and pinning awesome kid Halloween costumes. I had decided that for his first Halloween, he'd be a snail. Perfect! He'd be at crawling age, and it'd basically be like the cutest thing that ever happened.
Except that the snail costume was like $40, which is approximately $38 more than I was willing to spend on something that I would put on a kid who wasn't even going trick-or-treating, who would wear it for 5 minutes while I took pictures so that in 20 years I could tell him that he was a snail for his first Halloween. And just forget about me trying to learn how to use the sewing machine again to make the costume.
So I decided to borrow a costume. Except that I never actually got around to picking it up.
So I decided that costumes were stupid for babies who weren't doing anything to celebrate Halloween and who weren't even old enough to eat candy.
And then this morning I started to feel like a real asshole of a parent for not having a costume for my kid. So I emailed Shecky and asked her if I was a bad mother for not dressing up the boy and she said that yes, yes I was, and she also suggested that I throw on his awesome orange vest, make him Marty McFly, and call it a day.
So that's what we did. Except that it was even better because Marty McFly wears a jean jacket under his orange puffy vest and Charlie just so happens to have a jean jacket himself (because he's really stylish and loves jean jackets). Had this not been such a half-assed operation from the start, I'd have constructed a Delorean out of cardboard and affixed it to his jumper or walker or something. Oh well.
Okay, now look at a bunch of pictures of my kid on Halloween. Note that you are not seeing a picture of him next to a pumpkin or in a parking lot full of pumpkins because I f'ing refuse*. Thank Facebook and mommy blogs for that.**
How was your Halloween? Can I have some of your candy?
*But I am totes on board with the babies in front of Christmas trees and wrapped up in Christmas lights and every other obnoxious Christmas pose out there.
**Also, later, remind me to tell you how Matt reads mommy blogs and forums now and it's basically the funniest and most unexpected thing ever.