Jeez Oh Pete! Two Months!?

Our Memorial Day weekend was the bee's knees.  It was peaceful and fun and delicious.  There was shopping and hanging out downtown and baking and thunderstorms (apparently Matt and I were the only two people in Savannah who didn't know that there was a tropical storm coming).  We even got super ambitious and had friends over for dinner!  And I made a cake!  And I ellipted twice!  What, what?!

We also celebrated 9 weeks with Charles.  Nine loooong weeks.  Two months down, y’all! 

And I am so happy to report that month two was worlds better than month one.  WORLDS.

Month one had its high points, sure, but it also had its looooooooow moments.  There were the first couple of weeks when our sweet babe tricked us by pretending to be a little angel who never cried and slept all the time and cooed and cuddled and wasn't a demanding freak show.  Then there was the day when he ate 14 times (for like an hour+ a pop!) and I started to lose my mind.  For real.  


Lost.


Mind.


Gone.


It got to the point where I was ugly crying all the time, and at first Matt and I thought it was just a funk, but then I just couldn't snap out of it.  And apparently you're not supposed to have "I hate my life" meltdowns several times a day, and your face isn't supposed to be permanently puffy from ugly crying.  And you're not supposed to, when your husband asks if you need anything as your ass is planted on the couch for 10 hours a day feeding the tapeworm baby, request a time machine so that you can either go forward a year or backward a year.  Well, shoot.  While I'd never really expected to love the newborn part of child rearing, I never imagined that it'd send me into the awful emotional black hole that it did.  I totally had (have?) postpartum depression, the ol' PPD.  So I went to my trusty OB and got myself a diagnosis and some pillz. Magic happy pillz that Matt affectionately refers to as "Mommy's Little Helper."


I kind of hate that I wasn't strong enough during those low points to pull myself out on my own.  I mean, I'm the girl who can cure herself of the hiccups by just thinking about them (read: I have a very strong brain), so I hated to admit that I couldn't take care of it without drugs.  But I hated feeling the way I was feeling way more than I hated the fact that I couldn't just snap out of it.  And I hated that I was so incredibly miserable during a time that is supposed to be special, and I didn't want to look back on this period of my life and shudder.  And I certainly didn't want to get to the point where I was going to hurt anyone.  So pillz it was (and is, until summer, when I will wean myself from them hopefully).


And, per the recommendation by Ann, I went to see the lactation consultant at the hospital who helped me to fix my breastfeeding technique so that Charlie now eats much more quickly and in a way that does not make me feel like my boobs are about to fall off.  So those are a couple of reasons that this month was better. Also, little Charlie is becoming much more interesting and fun.  I mean, he's still basically a parasite (albeit the cutest parasite you ever did see), but now he smiles and coos and watches his dinosaurs and will actually let us put him down sometimes without screaming like a banshee.  So that's good. 

There are some moms I know who are sad when they see that their little baby is getting bigger and wish those baby moments could just last forever.  I am not one of those moms.  At risk of sounding like a "grass is always greener" jerk, I just can't wait for him to start doing more stuff, to see who he's going to be, to hear his laugh and see him talk and walk.  Ridiculous though it may seem, the only thing that really saddens me about Charlie getting older is that he's growing out of some of his clothes, and I will be really sad to have to put them away.  I'm pretty sure that makes me a horrible mother, but OMG those outfits are just so cute!


I only have 8 more school days until summer break (pretty good timing, eh?), and this last month has been so great that I'm actually excited to be back home with all of my favorite boys.  Here's hoping that our months just get better and better from here!

Want to see a bajillion pictures of Charlie set to the tunes of UB40?  Okay!








***Charlie, if you're reading this far, far in the future.  I love you so much.  You know I do.  But you broke my body and  you made me cry all the time.  Now go get Mommy the remote and pour her a glass of wine.***

Weekend Fun

Our weekend was just lovely.  The weather was gorgeous and delivered to us what I imagine will be the last open-window weekend until October.  My flowers are blooming, the dog is snuggly as ever, and the boy is getting easier to manage.  Our house is even clean [enough that I wouldn't be horrified if someone were to stop by unannounced]!

 baby power!

 Get outta here with this awesome card.

Super amazing sub from Saigon Bistro.

I wish this was a scratch-n-sniff blog. 

 Completely obsessed with cloth diapers.

Hope your week is fantastic! 

Update!

I know it's already weekend time again, but I totes need to share some of the fun we had last weekend when Grandma Carol, Grandpa B, and Aunt Darcey came to visit. 

We ate and talked and laughed and ate some more. I got to take them to some of my favorite spots in the SAV, like Back in the Day Bakery, of course (a hit!). 

And we went to the train yard that is by the railroad museum so that Grandpa and Darcey could ride one of the antique trains. And Grandpa got a conductor's hat. Because nothing on earth is better than Grandpa B wearing a conductor's hat. Nothing. 

It was such a fun and relaxing weekend, and it really helped me to take my mind off of the anxiety that I had about returning to work on Monday. I was anxious because I didn't know how it was going to work logistically (we've been terrible about getting our wee one on any kind of reliable schedule) and how I was ever going to get enough sleep and how would pumping work and would I even remember my students' names and would I hate my job now that I have a baby? (And such a cute baby at that!)

So I returned to work on Monday, nervous, tired, and feeling a little bit overwhelmed.  And HOT DAMN I LOVED IT! I've never had May mornings where I was delighted to be walking the halls of my school, and I don't think I've ever been so tickled to be wearing heels and clothes that weren't pajamas, either. It was really nice to see my students, and all of the hugs and well-wishes sure made me feel loved and appreciated. 

Being back at work has been great (except for the day that I spilled an entire bottle of breastmilk in my lap--that was pretty awful). I've enjoyed my job, and really relished the opportunity to get out of the house each day. And while it's been hard and tiring, it's good for us mostly because it's given me the time away that I need to actually start missing my little Charlie.* I miss him just the right amount. And he misses me just the right amount, too. We can get kind of sick of each other after weeks and weeks of being together nonstop.  

Gratuitous baby picture.

So now, when I walk into my house, and my snugglin' pup greets me at the door and Matt walks over holding our cute little boy, I happily grab that baby and kiss him and cuddle him, and I so appreciate being able to appreciate being his mom. 

 ****Charlie, if you're reading this far, far in the future. . . Well, if you're old enough to read then you're old enough to know that your mom just isn't a baby person. I probably like you way better now. Unless you became a republican. Jokes. You can be a republican if you want. I probably deserve it, anyway, for being so obsessed with Family Ties.****

This and That

Here's what's new and exciting around these parts lately.

1.  I found an 8-pack of fun sized Butterfingers in the refrigerator yesterday.  They lasted for approximately .08 seconds.  Oh, the carnage!  But it's okay, because I'm supposed to eat 500 extra calories a day since young Charles feeds off of me for 25 hours/day, and I'm pretty sure that my doctor wants those extra calories to come from Butterfingers.  (Oreos will suffice.)

2. My grandparents and aunt are visiting this weekend!  Horray!  I can't wait to see them and hang out with them and introduce them to Chucky.

3.  I actually took a shower today!

4.  Morning Joe.  Matt and I are officially old and boring, and we have a favorite morning talk show.  We actually record it in case we're not awake at 6:00 a.m. to see it live.  Chaz tries his hardest to ensure, however, that we are awake to see it live.  He's so considerate!

5.  I go back to work on Monday!  I'm so excited.  I love little Carlos, but seriously, I was not made to be a stay-at-home-mom.  I know that returning to work will present its own challenges and difficulties, but I can't wait to put on real clothes and shoes, and to do something other than sit around the house all day.  Plus, I only have like a month of work and then it's summer break.  I can do anything for a month.

6.  Exciting in babyland?  Charlie has a new cousin, Penelope!  Get outta here with her cuteness and her, as Hugh put it, Michael Bluth hair.

7.  I want to make this cake.

8.  JMU onesie on a cute baby.  For serious.

9.  Gang signs.

He's kind of a badass.

Screaming Tapeworm Demon, Round II

He's baaaaaaaaaack.  Shoot.

Remember that time I was all, "whatev, losers, having a newborn baby is soooooooooo easy!"?  Remember that?  Were those of you who had been there just chuckling to yourself, waiting for the screaming tapeworm demon to rear his ugly (except very cute) head?  Well, you win.  This shit is crazy.

Feed me!

It's like the hardest, most boring, month-long day I've ever experienced.  And I'm such a cliche with my only-taking-pictures-of-my-baby, unshowered, yoga-pant-wearing, slobber-covered self.  I'm grimy even for me.

Little buddy has been in his 6-week growth spurt since Monday, which means that I have done nothing but feed him and then wait ten minutes to feed him again.  Did I mention that my sweet little baby eats for an hour at a time, every time?  Like twenty times a day?  And that my ass is actually sore from sitting on the couch for so many hours?  And that if I don't remember to grab the remote before I sit down to feed him, then I am taken hostage by a marathon of America's Next Top Model or Pregnant at 70?

Feed me!

And I love the crap out of this baby (quite literally), but jeez-oh-pete, kid, don't you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder?*

So I've decided to make a plan.  Here it is.  Baby Charlie will finish his growth spurt tonight, and then will sleep for 10 hours straight and will wake up pleasant and happy and only wanting to be held half of the time that he's awake.  And he will sleep 10 hours a night every night from here on out. And then he will learn to change his own diapers, to fetch me the remote, and to mix up a mean margarita.  And, hell, he'll learn Spanish, too.

Big sneezes.

And I will see my bed again.  And fold the laundry for the first time in a week.  And have a minute to wash off some of this slobber.  It's disgusting.


*Charlie, if you're reading this far, far in the future, know this: if you continue to eat this often I will have to punish you by forcing you to wear a jean jacket.  Again.