Up

Remember that scene at the end of Forrest Gump when Forrest is talking at Jenny's grave, and right before he puts down the letter that Little Forrest wrote for her, he says, "And he's so smaht, Jenny" and his voice cracks and he starts crying and then you [unless you are Matt who does not have a soul] start crying for days?

That's nothing.

Up made me sob. It was the kind of crying where I was doing the deep breaths that shook my whole body. (I'm still crying.) But it was completely worth it. And I'll go ahead and throw this out there--best movie of the summer.

The movie is gorgeous, to start. The whole thing looks like candy. The 3-D was also beautiful, that is, when my vision was not clouded by the streams of tears falling from my eyes. Characters, great. Plot, pretty cool. Pulling of the heartstrings, oh dear God. It's a nearly perfect film. And, there's a dog who's basically Mitch. Go see it. Right. Now.

While the movie was incredible, our fellow moviegoers left much to be desired. First of all, there was the Jon and Kate Plus 8 family who boldly defied stereotypes when they did not correctly count out how many seats they would need, leaving them in a state of confusion. There was the guitar hero before the movie--which was, admittedly, a cool idea--during which the players forced us to listen to crappy renditions of "Eye of the Tiger" not just once, but twice. There was the old man in the tucked-in Hawaiian shirt who stole Matt's armrest. And then there was the screaming baby whose mother just let it scream, and scream, and scream. Maybe it was more than one screaming baby? Who knows.

And we went to the theater that is constructed from garbage. At least, that's what it feels like. There were homemade clouds on the wall that looked like a bulletin board threw up, there was food all over the floor, and the whole place had a general feeling of being covered in mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise.

NOTE: If you have a baby, and you make the decision to take it to a public place (restaurant, movie theater, grocery store, etc.) and it starts to scream, please remove the child from that public place. Please do not punish the rest of us with your screaming child. It's neither cute nor endearing.