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02 August 2009

Wal-Mart Feet

Thursday was the first time that I'd worn shoes in three weeks. I'm not barefoot girl or anything, but I had worn only flip flops for 21 whole days. It was wonderful. Of course, the no shoes/few showers combination took my already ugly feet and made them look like they belonged to a 75-year old barefoot mountain man who spends his days walking around the dirtiest Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart feet. Dirty, rough, calloused, peeling Wal-Mart feet.

Per the recommendations from friends, I indulged, and purchased one of these babies. It was kind of hard to make the decision as to which cheese-grater-like-foot-smoothing device I should use, but I ended up choosing the Dr. Scholl's one because 1.) It has the name doctor in it, so it must be safe (just like Dr. Pepper!) and 2.) because it was pretty pink.

I had to file my gross Wal-Mart feet for a good long while, but I am happy to share that after the hours of filing (and collecting gross shredded foot skin in the little catcher), I had nice, pretty girl feet. Matt says that I no longer have Wal-Mart feet. Now I have Fresh Market feet! Fresh Market feet! Horray!

I wish to celebrate by purchasing sassy shoes. Kudos to Cassie and Christina, who both won in life when they wrote to inform me that the gorgeous turquoise shoes from the last post are from designer Christian Louboutin and can be mine for the low price of $625!


Now there's just the small task of convincing Matt that I can buy them with all of the money I'll be saving on pedicures.

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