The Falcon is in the attic.

I'm a news junkie. I turn on the news as soon as I get home from school, and I leave it on in the background while I meander around the house, pretending to clean or be productive.

What I find both hilarious and annoying about the news is how news stations will go apeshit for the silliest stories. Case in point: Balloon Boy, Falcon Henne.

For about two hours today, MSNBC showed an giant helium balloon that looked like an alien ship with the captions beneath reading variations of "6-year old boy in balloon."

The Colorado scenery was nice, too.

As time rolled by, I began to get irritated. Isn't there a big healthcare debate? Aren't we involved in two wars? What's happening with Jon and Kate? But no. It was balloon boy.

When I talked to Caitie this afternoon and told her about the story (she had actually gone to school today whereas I stayed home sick, and she missed all of the balloon boy excitement), she asked, "So, wait. There's a chance someone's gonna come home today and find a little kid splattered on their lawn?" Yep.

Fortunately for Falcon, his family, and the hypothetical neighbor, Falcon had not been in the balloon. Instead, he was hiding in the attic of his house. (all photos stolen from NY Daily News)

And he's a pretty cute little daredevil.

The ordeal, and the cable-news stations' attempts to obtain as much information as possible, turned up some weird facts about Falcon's family.

• His parents are mad scientist storm chasers
• This was a homemade balloon made for storm chasing
• They named their kid Falcon
• They were on WIFE SWAP--TWICE!

Wow. I can forgive the storm chasing and the mad scientist parts. I can get on board with naming a kid Falcon, even. But WIFE SWAP? Really? Now I'm passing judgment.

Glad you're alive, Falcon. I'm sure I'm going to be hearing way too much about you and your insane parents in the next few days.