Weird Owl: A Post from Mitch

So, my mom and dad abandoned me for a week.  Okay, well, not really abandoned so much as left me with Aunt Cris and Reilly, my best friend, but still.  I mean, I think I would have liked to go to a baseball game and to visit New York City and to see David Letterman.  David Letterman is SOOOO funny, you guys.  Have you ever seen when he does stupid pet tricks?  I love that guy.

But anyway, my mom and dad left, and I was pretty sad.  But then they came back eight days later, and I was so happy.  And I jumped around and licked their legs and cuddled.  It was so nice to be back in the big bed with my mom and dad. 

What wasn't nice was that not even eight hours after getting home, my evil mother asked me if I'd like to go for a ride in the car.  "She's trying to make up for the abandonment," I thought to myself.  "We're going to PetSmart and then to the park and then to the movies to see Cats and Dogs!"  How silly of me.  I should have known.  Did we go to any of the aforementioned places?  No, no we didn't.  We went to the vet.  THE VET!  I had just gone to the vet two weeks before, and I was pretty sure that I wouldn't have to go back for another fifty weeks.  But no.  My mother is the devil.

So I had things jammed into me and I had to have a muzzle on my nose while three strangers held me down on the ground and clipped my nails.  It was bad, you guys.

And then, because she felt guilty, later that day my mom came back from Target with this stupid stuffed animal, a toy that I'm pretty sure she only bought because she got it for 75% off.  My mom is the cheapest person on the planet.

It's an owl.  A weird owl. 

I'm not thrilled with Weird Owl.  I don't even want to look at his stupid self.

And I'm not thrilled with my mother about this vet thing.

And she's not thrilled with the Amish.  Did you know that my mom hates the Amish?  She says that they're cheaters.



And now it's come full circle.  I'll talk to you guys later.  Today I'll be sleeping on the couch and maybe eating the guts out of that stupid owl.