Me: Oh, hey, I took the elliptical apart. And I didn't put it back together because I found some brown recluse eggs in it.
Matt: WHAT?
Me: Oh, yeah, but it's okay. I sprayed them with WD40.
Matt: You sprayed them with WD40?
Me: Yeah, I thought to myself, "If I was a tiny spider, what would I hate to have sprayed on me?" So I went with WD40. It makes sense.
Matt: Oh, well that's good. Now we've got extra slippery deadly spiders in our house!
Oh God. I forgot about this (see: I called you post four glasses of wine). I think I went into a fugue state when you told me about this incident. Also, I can never stay at your house again. And neither can you. Guess you're moving to Augusta. Shoot.
ReplyDeleteWait...how did you know they were brown recluse eggs?? Maybe they were just normal old spider eggs?
ReplyDeleteYeah, so, thanks a lot...I started lookin for egg pictures and spent 20 minutes looking at pictures of brown recluse spider BITES. Now, I'm going to have nightmares.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I definitely don't know for sure that they're brown recluse eggs, but they do look like the ones on the google. But I do have bites all over my arms, and I'm pretty sure that it's from the deadly spiders. Does that mean that I don't have to go to work tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteAlso, those bite pictures are the worst thing that's ever happened. Well, second worst. I guess the bites themselves are the worst.
It's always been my policy that creepy crawlies are allowed to live, until I see them. Once seen they must die a horrible chemical death. One time I was forced to "mousse" a spider in my shower which kept crawling closer and closer.
ReplyDeleteNice choice on the WD40.
I don't usually mind spiders, you know, unless they're the kind that will kill me. I'm more afraid of jumpy frogs and palmetto bugs (giant flying cockroaches) than anything else. Oh, and lizards. I don't mind lizards, but when they get in the house they scare the bejeezus out of me.
ReplyDelete