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07 July 2010

Poof!

There's just something about summertime that pits me against nature.  (Or pins me against nature, if you're like stupid Olivia on The City.  I hate her with every ounce of my being.)  If it's not mosquitoes or nearly dead moles or jumpy frogs or slugs or snakes, then it's something else. 

As I was driving down the parkway this morning, groggy because I'd had to peel myself out of bed at 7:45 (so early for summer!) and because I failed to eat a healthy breakfast, I became a murderer.  The incident happened shortly after I merged, when I was going between 45-55 mph, and some very intelligent bird was  hovering about four feet off the ground, directly in front of me.  I tried to brake, and I couldn't swerve without getting into an accident, so I hit it. 

Thump!

Horrified by my murderous act, I looked in the rearview mirror.

Poof!

There was a poof of feathers at the scene of the crime, almost cartoonish.  It was like a pillow fight on a sitcom.  Actually, it was like the end of this Pixar short (around 2:30). 



Or this disturbing few seconds that Matt recommended of Randy Johnson hitting a bird with a fastball.



Gross!

Anyway, I'm still driving around with souveniers of my kill.


Ugh.

Anyone have some rubber gloves?

R.I.P., bird.  Sorry you're dead.  Maybe as a ghost bird you can go to all of the other birds and instruct them to maintian a high altitude when flying around such busy roads?

3 comments:

  1. You took pictures of the evidence of your murder?

    Mandy, do you not possess an iota of self-preservation instinct?

    That's evidence girl! You best make like Michael Vick and start digging a hole to bury the body and anything incriminating.

    You can even get Mitch to help you dig, and then Matt could come up with an alibi and perhaps a new identity before you go on the lamb. This whole thing could turn out to be a nice family activity... before you have to say goodbye forever.

    But please learn from O.J.'s mistakes. Stay off the freeway and don't go for Mexico. It's just what they expect.

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  2. Next time I commit a murder, I will heed your advice.

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  3. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that....

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