This and That

1.  I have been in a terrible mood today, and for no good reason, either.  Well, one good reason, perhaps.  I have poison ivy all over my face.  If you're thinking to yourself, "Man, Mandy sure does get poison ivy a lot," well then you'd be right.  Hey, universe, I'd like to trade in this intense poison ivy allergy for a seafood allergy.  (I don't even eat seafood.)  The only good thing about having poison ivy all over your face (okay, well two good things because I'm milking it like a sombitch--"Matt, can you get me my glass of wine? I can't because I have poison ivy all over my face.") is that I get to say multiple times a day, "I'M A MONSTER" in my best Buster Bluth voice.



2.  Matt's at bar trivia right now.  I'm not there because I was being such a miserable human being earlier this evening and I didn't think it would be nice to subject people to being around me.  Plus, I went last week and I spent the last 10 minutes (felt like ten hundred!) listening to members of Matt's trivia team (including Matt, even though he maintains that he was only in the argument because of a logical fallacy) debate another trivia team about who would win in a fight, Superman or Batman.  Seriously.  That happened.  I've never felt so cool in all my life.  Matt would like me to tell you that those discussion do not happen every week.  Uh huh.

3.  Listening to my Motown Christmas music Pandora station right this second.  I love Christmas music.  But I always give a thumbs down to anything by Chris Brown because he hits ladies.

4.  Had a dream last night that there was a drive-shooting and I thought Matt was killed except that then it was just a paintball drive-by and I got super mad and yelled at the driver and made him feel awful and then John and Sherry from Young House Love were our next-door neighbors and they came over and helped us fix up our house after the paintball attack.  They're so nice.

5.  We had a monster of a wasp in the house today.  Matt killed it with my shoe.  Well, sort of.  He split it in half and then the front half kept on living and trying to kill us for like five minutes. Then I told Matt that I couldn't even wear that poison shoe anymore and he blamed me.  He said that the wasp was a result of my evil angry mood and that I'd just opened my mouth and it flew out.

Here's to a happy, less swollen Wednesday!

Slightly Classier than Dan Conner

A conversation between Dan and Fred on the critically acclaimed television show, Roseanne.

Fred: Dan, these christmas lights are pretty tangled. Why don't you just buy a new string?

Dan: That'd be a fairly large investment, Fred.

Fred: Why didn't you take the time last year and put those things away carefully?

Dan: Like that's how I want to spend my Easter Sunday.

Well, party people, I finally did it--I took down the Christmas lights.  And it's not even Easter! (Granted, Easter is kind of late this year, but still.)  So, the lights that basically told all of our neighbors that we are fun (if not a little, um, unsophisticated) and cool are gone for now.  And the lanterns that have been packed away in a box because they were too ratty and faded and full of bees have made a comeback.  Here's the skinny.

It's home improvement season here at M Cubed*, and I've got myself a big ol' long list of tasks to complete.  One of them was to save myself some cash by rehabilitating the lanterns in the Carport Bistro.  I'm cheap, and I didn't want to pay $40 for more just because of some silly little bee nests and faded colors.

So I turned to spraypaint. And I'm really pleased with how they turned out.

Aren't they pretty?  I just hope the lizards still like them.



*What is it with me and the early '90s ABC sitcom references today?  Oh man, don't even get me started on Coach or Full House.**
 
**Also, this wasn't an ABC sitcom I don't think, but my students don't get Saved by the Bell references.  If that doesn't make you feel old, then I don't know what will.  Are you sufficiently depressed?***
 
***Also, this has nothing to do with TV shows from the early '90s, really, but yesterday I overheard one of my students say that Elvis died in a snowboarding accident.  Ha!

Carport of Danger

Matt's a little frustrated with my decorating choices for the carport.  See, I love paper lanterns.  But, apparently, so do bees. 

Matt keeps knocking his head on the lanterns, only to have a swarm of angry bees come after him.  (I say it's a small price to pay for carport beauty.)

And then there's our little spider buddy.

Hope that's a mosquito in there.  Matt hopes it's a bee.

The Beestro Is Back.

While hanging out with my dog child the other day at the Carport Bistro, I made a scary discovery.

More bees.  (Maybe you remember the swarm of bees that descended upon the Carport Bistro on opening night?)  And it looks like they're settling in.

How does one get rid of bees?  Is there some kind of spray for this?  Will the bee community of Savannah seek revenge?  Just it's that time of year: Mandy v. Nature.

And that is the highlight of excitement for the week.  Bees. 

Carport Bistro and Killer Bees

I've been reading lots of stuff lately about having an outdoor eating area, which is really appealing to me (probably in the way that camping is appealing to me--I want to like it, but I don't). Anyway, I have attempted to transform our dirty little carport into something more.

The carport, unglamorous though it is, has been where Matt and I have had many a late night conversation. It wasn't a bad space before, but I love it now.

Before:


And $35 later. May I show you around the Carport Bistro? (Matt thought I was joking when I said that I was going to make a sign. Ha!)

First, we stole a table from the neighbor who has moved away. Nobody was using it.

I threw on a citronella candle, a gardenia bush from Publix, a cute tablecloth and some placemats.

And bought some beauteous white paper lantern lights. Paper lantern lights--particularly the white ones--make me really, really happy.

One thing that doesn't make me happy: BEES! As soon as it was dark and I had the lantern lights on, a swarm of bees entered the Carport Bistro. Perhaps they were excited about the grand opening?

Dammit. Anybody know how to get rid of bees? F it. We're having dinner out here tomorrow night, bees or no bees. I'll just channel the spirit of Idgie Threadgoode from Fried Green Tomatoes. It'll be fine.