This and That

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1.  This is going to be a short post because it's Sleepover Tuesday.  You know what ST looks like.

2.  Had grilled wings tonight for dinner.  If you haven't already, and if you're a lover of the chicken wing, you should def try grilled wings.  Mmmmmmmmmmmm.  Also, they provide you with an excuse to wield your meat cleaver like a crazy maniac.

3.  I am so mad at Anthony Weiner.  SO MAD!  Is it really that hard NOT to chirp a picture of your junk to a woman you're not married to?!?!  F'ing idiot.

4.  Today (it's the last week of school, people!), my students were looking for some pictures to color.  After a couple of minutes on the world wide web I was able to provide them with these coloring sheets (um, because they were already finished with their final exams and other very hard-core assignments).  Ha!  The captions that they provided were. . .fantastic. (One may have had to do with the fact that Ms. Eakle eats babies.)

5. I am a master at beating the hiccups.  All you have to do is think about the hiccups.  Focus.  Seriously.

6.  Matt has started to watch the local news, which means that I now watch the local news.  Note: the local news is weird and kind of trashy.  The only redeeming factor is that one of  the anchors wears a bow tie.

7. Three more days of school.  Three days.  I can do it.

That is all.

This and That

Well, it's only Monday and my brain is pretty much fried.  Mother F.  (Oh, man, I just realized that if I ever had a kid I could get people to call me Mother F!  Yesssssssssssss!)

This cat cracks me up.

But here's what's happening.

1. Right now I smell something bad and I don't know if it is the dog or my feet.  Maybe both?  Wait, I just pulled my foot up to my nose.  It was the dog.  Sadly, that's kind of a relief.
2. I don't care that Taco Bell's beef is not 100% ground organic true beef from some sort of magical talking cow.  Was anyone out there under the impression that their tacos and crunchwraps were all-natural or good for you?  I know that I go to Taco Bell when I want cheese that's squeezed from the same thing that caulk is squeezed from, and when I want bad service from people who are too dumb and too rude to get a job anywhere else.  When I want fancy, I'll go to an actual Mexican restaurant, or to Wendy's.
3. Oh, hey!  I just had a really good idea.  Taco Bell should serve margaritas.  No?  Not a good idea?  Shoot.
4. Matt finally got the HDMI cable to work on our tv and seeing news people's faces that up close and personal is kind of freaking me out.  I think I'll just squint my eyes from now on when we watch Hardball.*
5. I made the most delicious treat this weekend, a treat that I've been plotting for months (no, seriously) and that I can't wait to share with you.  It'll have to happen in stages, because it contains that much awesomepants awesomeness.  Put on your elastic pants and get ready, friends, because this one is just that good.

Okay, well, I'm going to go watch Jeopardy! with Matt.  (Read: yell out the answers .10 seconds after he yells them out just to annoy him.  Ha!)

*Oh, and no, I'm not drunk, but I kind of wish I was.

The Falcon is in the attic.

I'm a news junkie. I turn on the news as soon as I get home from school, and I leave it on in the background while I meander around the house, pretending to clean or be productive.

What I find both hilarious and annoying about the news is how news stations will go apeshit for the silliest stories. Case in point: Balloon Boy, Falcon Henne.

For about two hours today, MSNBC showed an giant helium balloon that looked like an alien ship with the captions beneath reading variations of "6-year old boy in balloon."

The Colorado scenery was nice, too.

As time rolled by, I began to get irritated. Isn't there a big healthcare debate? Aren't we involved in two wars? What's happening with Jon and Kate? But no. It was balloon boy.

When I talked to Caitie this afternoon and told her about the story (she had actually gone to school today whereas I stayed home sick, and she missed all of the balloon boy excitement), she asked, "So, wait. There's a chance someone's gonna come home today and find a little kid splattered on their lawn?" Yep.

Fortunately for Falcon, his family, and the hypothetical neighbor, Falcon had not been in the balloon. Instead, he was hiding in the attic of his house. (all photos stolen from NY Daily News)

And he's a pretty cute little daredevil.

The ordeal, and the cable-news stations' attempts to obtain as much information as possible, turned up some weird facts about Falcon's family.

• His parents are mad scientist storm chasers
• This was a homemade balloon made for storm chasing
• They named their kid Falcon
• They were on WIFE SWAP--TWICE!

Wow. I can forgive the storm chasing and the mad scientist parts. I can get on board with naming a kid Falcon, even. But WIFE SWAP? Really? Now I'm passing judgment.

Glad you're alive, Falcon. I'm sure I'm going to be hearing way too much about you and your insane parents in the next few days.

Enough!

I like to have a dance-off to a Michael Jackson song as much as the next girl. But, lest we forget, the guy was a freak and a child molester. My favorite MJ joke:

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?

A: Because there are twenty of them.