Stuff I Love

In an effort to ignore the one thousand times I've sneezed today* and the killer headache I'm going to have in approximately six hours when I wake up for work (gross), I am going to focus on the positive and show you some things that are making me smile a whole lot lately.

1.  None of Your Frizziness conditioner by Herbal Essences.  I am a complete cheapass when it comes to hair products (or beauty products in general, if we're being honest), so this stuff is super amazing because it makes my hair silky smooth without being greasy, and it smells like a happy day at the beach.  Well, it also kind of smells like a Mary Kate & Ashley brand shampoo that I used when I went on a trip to Mississippi with a professor in college (I wouldn't recommend going on a trip with a professor in college, but that's a story for another time), so, anyway, I also laugh every time I use the conditioner.  Silky hair and hilarious smell deja vu?  Shoot yeah!

2.  More Amish Butterprint treasures!  Matt's mom (are you jealous that my mother-in-law is so much better than yours?) got me these when she was at the Bouckville antiques extravaganza last month.  Are they just the cutest thing you've ever seen or what?  Cassie says that one dish on the right is for pate.  Hmmmm. . .well, I used it to store leftover tater tots this weekend.  That's the same, right?

3.  Cold food.  Mmmmmmm.  I love cold food.  Cold pizza, cold french fries, cold stir fry, cold pasta.  Matt thinks this is the most disgusting thing of all time.  I think it's delicious.

4.  My little cuddle wolf.  Why is he so cute?  Would this pose scare off a murderer robber?  Yeah, I think so, too.

5.  These lollipops that I stole from Tanya's house last weekend.  They're cotton candy flavored or something, and they're super tasty.  She says they came from Party City or something, so I might need to go on an outing here soon.

6.  A trio of baby pumpkin cakes!  They look a little less hobo-like once frosted and sprinkled with walnuts.  You can tell that Cassie totes decorated the one on the left.  I've not got the patience for that bull jive!

I also love people who come to my house and clean it and then do all of my essay grading while I sit on the couch and watch Teen Mom, so if anyone out there is bored, feel free to come on by.  I'll provide you insightful commentary on the state of Amber and Gary's relationship and Farrah's stupid bitchness.  



*Matt refused to say anything after someone sneezed.  No "God bless you," no "Gesundheit," no nothing.  He said he does not need to acknowledge that I've sneezed.  I say he's lucky I still have a soul.  I've been so obnoxious about his refusal over these last nine years that recently, whenever I sneeze, he gives me a really exaggerated "God bless you."  It's a minor victory, sure, but it sure makes having a cold a lot more fun.

This and That

1.  Ladies and gentlemen, it's Snuggie weather time!  The other night I snuggied up on the couch with the dog (who does not, for some reason, own his own Snuggie).  If it gets any colder outside it's going to be lying-on-the-couch-in-a-sleeping-bag weather.  Whoop, whoop!

2.  Informal poll.  Are you tired all the time?  Because I'm tired all the time, and I can't decide if this fatigue is A.) a result of my weird sleep habits and caffeine addiction, B.) just part of being a grown-up, or C.) some kind of health problem.

3.  And, just in case you need to see how tired I look all the time, here's my school picture.  (By the way, I think that one of the very worst parts of my job is the fact that I'm forced to take school pictures that will be featured in a yearbook.)  This is what I look like at 9:45 a.m. with no makeup, and little will to live.  In my defense, I had just spent the last hour of my life corralling primping ninth graders through a stuffy hallway,  trying to get about 25 of them to keep from screaming and touching each other while standing in line.  The only somewhat redeeming thing about this photo is that I had actually brushed my hair that morning.   

And how's this for a before and after?  That's what 12 years, hatred in your heart, and a love for baked goods will do to you.

4.  We've had two fun new meals this week: Quick Dirty Rice from Our Life in the Kitchen, and Cheesy Beefy Potato Soup from My Fiance Likes It So It Must Be Good.  Both were very, very tasty.  Both will be made again.

 [source]

[source]

5. My eleventh graders have figured out that if they want to get me off-topic, all they need to do is bring up Amber from Teen Mom.  Is that bitch in jail yet?  Or at least sterilized?

6. Bought the first two book of The Hunger Games series for Chloe [but really for Matt who wanted an excuse to read them].  I kind of want to read them, but I'm afraid that they'll give me bad dreams. 

7.  The election was a bit of a suckfest--an expected suckfest, but a suckfest nonetheless.  At least most of the craziest of the crazies lost, right?  Hey, but did you hear that Sean from the Boston season of The Real World is now a Representative from Wisconsin? You know, the lumberjack guy who married the crazy girl who made out with Puck on the San Francisco season of The Real World.  If I remember right, I liked him (Sean, not Puck).  Did you watch the Boston season?  It was the one with Elka and Genesis and Montana (Basically during MTV's phase of selecting only cast members who had silly names.  Now they just try to find the person who's most likely to do steroids and botox and take 50 shots in a hour's time.).

8. I seriously have the best mother-in-law.  The other night I was talking to her about how I can't seem to find any good baking chocolate in Savannah, and today I got this in the mail.  I love her.

9. Tomorrow Matty and I will be attending a showing of The River Why at the Savannah Film Festival.  We're excited because we got free tickets (old roommate Cris is a baller who scores free stuff for us), but mostly because it stars Zach Gilford (a.k.a. MATT SARACEN!).  It basically looks like a modern-day A River Runs Through It, which is awesome because I LOVE A River Runs Through It. 

10.  Just spent a good chunk of my night making candied pecans and caramel.  Get ready for something tasty!

Oh, Friday, where have you been all my life--or, for the last six days?

This and That

1. Jon Stewart is on my list. I'm having trouble, though, deciding which Jon Stewart I like more. This one?

Or this one? Mmmmmmmm.

2. New favorite singer boy: Trent Wagler. I first learned of Trent Wags through Danielle. He and his band, The Steel Wheels, play shows in Harrisonburg (Oh, how I love Harrisonburg. . .) often and she's a big fan. I downloaded what I could of his stuff, and Danielle sent me a few CDs a couple of weeks ago (because she's AWESOME!). They're so fun, and he has such a great voice, and he's cute to boot! Move over, Jon Stewart.

3. Teen Mom is out of control. I can't wait to watch the reunion special. Maybe they'll have social services come in a take little Leah away from Amber for good. My god, I hate that troll.  My eleventh graders may or may not have succeeded in getting me off task today by discussing Teen Mom.  So much to say!

4. Horray for the rescue of the Chilean miners! Between the coverage of the retrieval and the finale of Teen Mom, Tuesday night boasted quite an emotional television lineup.

5. I really, really love reading To Kill a Mockingbird with my students. I mean, saying that you like it is basically like claiming to like The Beatles, since pretty much everyone loves that book, but still. It's so pretty, so perfect. And I have to hold back tears every time during the courtroom scene when the lady tells Scout to stand up because her daddy's passin'. Sigh.

6. I have become a little bit too obsessed with Dear Prudence. Even though I know when her columns will come out, I can't help but to check Slate approximately 789 times per day to check for a bonus column. I pretty much want to be Dear Prudie.

7. Someone's knocked up!

8. It's not me. It's her.

9. Celebrating Cris's birthday tonight. Making pumpkin whoopie pies for the occasion.  Mmmmmmmm.
 
10.  I get to wear jeans to work tomorrow!  Why is it that that's the most exciting thing that's happened to me all week?

What We're Watching

Matt and I are unapologetic TV addicts.  Fortunately for us, the quality of television shows has increased tremendously in the last decade or so, so we can be entertained by smart, beautiful programming.  And then, of course, there's Teen Mom.

Anyway, here's what we've been watching lately:

1.  Football.  This one's more Matt than me.  He watches and I provide commentary.  For example, when one of the refs threw a flag during the Bills game this afternoon, I hollered, "Ooooooh, someone's in trouble!"  Then I fell asleep for four hours.  Oh well.

[source]

2.  Boardwalk Empire.  Ooh, what a pretty and smart show!  We are both really enjoying the glimpse into Atlantic City during prohibition.  Martin Scorcese and HBO?  Yes, please.  We're an episode behind, though, because every time we go to watch it I fall asleep.  Oops.  (Also, don't make old timey Omar kill your ass.)

3.  The Office.  The new season of this old favorite has had a really strong start.  I think my favorite little storyline so far has been Pam creating herself an entirely new position.  I just got caught up with The Office because I'd fallen asleep during last week's episode.  Does anyone else think that I might have narcolepsy?

4.  30 Rock.  Another strong start to a season!  There's a special place in my heart for 30 Rock, and I'm still working on getting Matt to dress up as Werewolf Bar Mitzvah for Halloween.  I think the only way I'll get him to do it is to get in a big fight with him that is his fault, and to cry and then say that the only way he can make it up to me is to dress up for Halloween. 

5.  Modern Family.  This might just be my favorite show.  And while all of the characters are wonderful, I think Phil might just be my favorite.  (He's the most like Ross Gellar, I've decided.)

6. Amazing Race.  Even though this season's teams are pretty crappy, we're still watching.  I wish I'd chosen Kev Jumba and his dad, though.  I also wish there was a watermelon face smash on every episode!

7.  Teen Mom.  We've talked about this one a lot, and it's simultaneously the best and worst thing on TV right now.  I can't believe that the next episode is going to be the season finale!  Matt would like to point out that he does not watch this show, because he is above trash like this and prefers high brow entertainment, which you will discover with item number 10.

8.  The News.  I'm a little bit of a news junkie.  My favorite news show is Rachel Maddow.  Watching her show is educational and entertaining, and she's not a maniacal idealogue like some other hosts.  And she has Kent, and she's really tall, so that's good.

9.  Glee.  Just kidding.  We stopped watching that in the middle of last season.  I just couldn't make myself care anymore.

10.  Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  This season takes place in Prague, and the elimination battles happen in the "Gulag". As in, Brandon and Derrick will be facing off in The Gulag. WTF?  What's the next season going to be?  The Challenge: Auschwitz?  There was even a part where the players had to go into a gas chamber to read a clue.  One of the girls mentioned that she shouldn't go into the gas chamber because she has asthma and it would be unhealthy for her.  You know, because gas chambers are only bad for you if you have asthma.  Matt is more invested in this than I am, but I join him in watching it sometimes.  In the absence of Teen Mom, however, this show will serve me well.  It's just horrible enough and entertaining enough to make an hour of ellipting go by in a flash.

What are you watching?  Is there anything out there that we should be watching but aren't?

This and That

1. On Monday I snuggled with Mitch in the bed.  I was hugging him.  An hour or so later I had poison ivy all over my arm.  Seriously? (And it itches like crazy!  Worse than a chigger!  By the way, why are chiggers so funny?  And why is Chigarid even funnier?)
2. Matt has a cold.  I'm trying to be a nice, good wife who does things like cook chicken noodle soup (and by chicken noodle soup I mean chili cheese dogs--they're good for a cold!) and picks up cough drops and juice at Target and does all of the dishes after dinner. Also I'm doing those things because on Monday I was possessed by the devil and was a super bitch for no reason.  Or maybe I was possessed by poison ivy?
3. Why are these fries so good?  They also make spicy sweet potato fries!  Confession: we've eaten Alexia frozen fries twice this week.  It's not really a healthy food kind of week.

4. I want to make these cookies with Reese's Pieces instead of Reese's Cups.  What do you think about that?
5. Matt is watching the newest Real World/Road Rules challenge, "the fifth major American sport." (Apparently Bill Simmons said that.)  That show's been going on so long that contestants have gotten married and now divorced.  (Gee golly, I'm so surprised, Danny and Melinda!  Was it the steroids or the anger or just the fact that you're both batshit crazy?)  I like watching it because it always makes me feel like I'm a superior human being.
6. I think that when the contestants on Real World/Road Rules challenge need to feel superior, they turn on Teen Mom.  Last night I ellipted for an hour, completely fueled by the anger of watching Amber, Maci, and Catelynn's whore of a mom.  I think Amber is actually the worst human being on the planet.  I hate her with my heart and with my soul.  How many times does she need to hit Gary and scream at her child before someone rescues her child from her?

7. It was picture day at school.  I HATE picture day.
8. I'm making these tomorrow, but with cherries.
9. The weather is out of control perfect this week.  Can it just stay like this until the end of time?
10. Mitch is currently sitting on Matt's lap, being really sweet.  It just seems sweet, though.  Really, he's trying to take Matt's cough drop out of his mouth.  Mitch loves cough drops.

This and That

1.  Went to the Battle of the Bands on Sunday with Cris.  Since there were going to be camera crews there filming for the sequel to Drumline (a movie that I made Matt go with me to see in the theater years ago), and since we share a love for marching bands, we were super pumped to go.  I have to admit, though, that it was only kind of fun.  The bands played to only one side of the stadium the entire time (not our side), and we were sitting in the glaring sun.  At times, I felt like my face would burst into flames.  There were a few awesome moments, though.  Like this kid:

And these guys, who were billed as the "Five Hottest Guys on Earth."  You can be the judge of that.

2.  Matt can't wait to see this movie.  He's bananas for keeping Christ in Christmas.



3.  There's some alpha dog shit happening in our house.

4.  I'm basically a professional fantasy football player.  I'm 2-0 in my league, and I keep telling Matt that he could stand to learn from me.  East Dillion Lions all the way, baby!

5.  Can we start a petition to get Amber from Teen Mom sterilized?

6.  I have this new strategy to keep myself from being such a fatass: eating from smaller bowls.  Sure, sometimes that means that I eat two bowls of delicious food (like tonight's Kung Pao Chicken).  But sometimes I don't, and the plan is that this will lead me to eating smaller portions (i.e., not the amount of food that four humans would eat per day).  Am I still allowed to fill the bowl to be super full?

7.  Matt and I are [tentatively] planning to head north Halloween weekend to visit with family and friends and to attend Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity.  Who wants to join?

8.  So, I wear heels to school almost every day.  And I have to walk around our campus a lot, and I'm always in some kind of hurry because I just want to get back to my classroom and my uber comfortable chair.  Time and again, I'll have someone poke their head around a corner or out a classroom door and tell me that they knew it was me coming because of the sound of the heels.  I don't really know what to make of this.  All I can figure is that I must have the least feminine, least delicate walk of all time.  Basically, I'm girl Shrek on heels.  Either that, or I'm aggressive and determined.  Let's go with the latter.  Or some combination of the two.  I give up.

Happy hump day!