Leopold the Lizard

Leopold the Lizard, just what do you think you're doing on that lantern?

Lanterns aren't for lizards!

I don't care if it's warm in there.

Stop looking at me!

You're freaking me out.

Improv Everywhere and Color Me Katie

I recently discovered Color Me Katie, a blog by one of the most creative people on the planet (thanks, Joy!), and I'm obsessed. I pretty much want to be Katie.

Check it out, and check out the Grocery Store Musical. It'll make you smile. I'll probably watch it five times today.


Happy Thursday! Only one more morning to wake up before the weekend. . .

Sweet Valley High--THE GAME!

Will you play with me? I have to find my boyfriend in time for the big date!

Check out those handsome boyfriends.

Bruce Patman, you're like Brandon Walsh and Dylan McKay had a baby. I sure hope I don't get sent to detention!

Has anyone seen my biking outfit? Oh, there it is!

Each player assumes the role of one of the Sweet Valley characters. I've always fancied myself a hybrid of Jessica and Elizabeth. You know, smart but fun. And, of course, a perfect size six. (By the way, the more modern Sweet Valley books describe the Wakefield girls as being a "perfect size four." That's effed up.)

Can't resist sharing these situation cards with you.

How did we ever grow up to be well-adjusted adults after playing this shit?

Jessica's a whore.

What kind of fight was this? A fist fight? Arm wrestling? Jousting? Knowing Lila, it started out with some passive aggression and ended with a screaming match. Go Enid!

Winston? Who the hell is Winston? And I'm pretty sure that if your last name is Egbert then you are automatically the nerd.

Yep. And also a pedophile, since Winston appears to be at least 45 years old.

Classic Sweet Valley situation. THIS is the reason I wanted to be a twin. What antics!

Was the rumor that Enid had an STD? How did it backfire? Is this situation related to the earlier fight over boyfriends? Does Enid have a STD? Does Lila?

At least Lila doesn't have to put back a boyfriend. She needs to get him in time for the big date!

Come to my house. We'll play some Sweet Valley board game, and then move on to Friends Scene It! I'll make cookies.

Sweet Valley High--THE MOVIE!

Did you read the Sweet Valley books as a kid (or as a teenager, or yesterday)? I devoured them, captivated by the fantasy of being a twin, of being blonde and beautiful, of living a glamorous life in California. I remember being in third grade, discussing plans for the future with one of my friends: "Well, I'm going to have twin girls, and I'll name them Jessica and Elizabeth." There was nothing cooler (until, of course, 90210 came along) than the Wakefield twins.

I had two favorite Sweet Valley Twins books, the one where the girls skip school to see a TV star (Playing Hooky), and the one where all of the girls attend a sham charm school run by con artists (The Charm School Mystery). I read each of them over and over again.

I even own the Sweet Valley High board game (I also own the Family Ties board game, and Friends Scene It!), the same one I played at a slumber party when I was eight.

The details of the game deserve their own post. It's a blast from the past. But here's a sneak peek. Yes, it says, "Can you find your boyfriend in time for the big date?"
As the twins got older and attended high school, the content got more racy. It was awesome.

Imagine my excitement, then, when last night I read in Entertainment Weekly that Diablo Cody (who wrote the screenplay for Juno) is working on a Sweet Valley High movie.

I'll be there on opening night, wearing purple. I am, after all, an honorary Unicorn.

Frenemies

Do you listen to This American Life? If you don't, you should probably start. It's pretty much the best radio show that's ever been. It's actually a TV show now, too, on Showtime. Both are smart, witty, moving--the works. Each week the producers pick a theme, and then provide a variety of stories on that theme. Don't think for a second that it's boring.

One of the more recent episodes was on the theme of Frenemies (listen to it here). Oh, Frenemies.

If you are reading this, and you are female, there is a good chance that you either 1.) Have a friend you hate, or 2.) Have had a friend you hated. Frenemies. It's one of those things that just happens in girl world.

Pop culture has been tackling the concept for some time now. Think Brenda and Kelly, Lucille and Lindsay Bluth, Liz Lemon and Jenna dumbass, Rachel Greene and her sisters, Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp. It's become accepted that we just won't like or respect some of the people with whom we have close relationships. Isn't that terrible? What bitches we are!

What I found most interesting about the "Frenemies" show was the discussion about how there have been studies done that have shown that it is unhealthy for people to maintain friendships with people they don't like, or to remain in toxic relationships. You know, heart rate, blood pressure, and a host of other medical problems.

I made an executive decision a few years back when I decided that I would no longer be friends with people I didn't like. Unfriending, if you will. The idea was so simple, but it was life-changing, liberating.

And I'll never look back. Life's too short to spend it in shitty relationships, especially when you could be around people who are caring, sincere, interesting, fun, kind, and loyal. Fortunately for me, I have lots of those kinds of people in my life.

Do you have frenemies? What do you do about them?

A Commercial About Me! (A Post from Mitch)

Hey guys, it's me, Mitch again. Oh man, I've been so busy lately because I've been helping the Traveler's Insurance people with their new ad campaign. I was all, "You guys know what's really important, right? Bones. We need bone insurance." They loved it. Here I am, a regular mad dog. No no, not like the alcohol, like the awesome advertising guys on that show.



And I had them put in that song by that guy my mom likes. There are two kinds of singing that she loves, me singing "I Will Always Love You," and whiny boys with guitars. This one is of the latter variety. I had a sore throat (hint, Mama, I need a COUGH DROP!) that day.

Entertainment Week in Review

My musings on this week's entertainment:

• Yay for the return of 30 Rock. It never disappoints. Tracy Jordan, you are a delight.
• Are there two more loathsome people than The City's Olivia and Roxy?
• Oh, yes, there are. They are Lance and Keri from Amazing Race. Fortunately for all of us, they were the last team to arrive, and they have been eliminated from the race. But who will be there to supply us with 'roid rage and arm bandanas?
• Maybe idiot Michael from Top Chef. (Not younger brother Michael--idiot "I-am-so-much-better-than-everyone-else-here" Michael. I think he may be Lance's brother.) This week we get to watch restaurant wars, and the Matt and I can't wait.
• We went to see Where the Wild Things Are today. I would tell you all about it, but I fell asleep for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of the movie, so I don't really know what happened. I do know that it made me cry four different times, it stars the cutest kid on the planet, it has a great soundtrack, and it is visually stunning. Maybe I'll be able to convince Matt to write a review of it, and he can share all of his smart boy insights.

What have you been watching, reading, or listening to?

Dinner Party: Lesson #4

After a night of fun--a little too much fun--there is no greater medicine than a bacon egg and cheese sandwich. . .

. . .a nap with a dog. . .

. . .and a conversation with a young pup. (Fletch is getting so big!)

Others go for the ol' hair-of-the-dog remedy. I'll stick with sleeping until 5:00 pm. I'm sick of dealing with dog hair.

Dinner Party: Lesson #3

Don't go crazy with cleaning beforehand (though you may want to be sure to find all of the dead frogs around the house--sorry, Fletcher), because there's a good chance your house will be in disrepair within a few short hours.

Also, look into hiring a maid.

Phebe! (A post from Mitch)

Hey, guys, it's me Mitch. I just wanted to announce that I have a new dog cousin/girlfriend (we're really old-fashioned) named Phebe. She's gorgeous, and I can't wait to put my scent on her.

Congrats, Aunt Caitie!

Dinner Party: Lesson #2

It probably makes us a cliche, or seems like a post from Stuff White People Like, but the Wii is a great way to burn off those calories from spinach dip and booze.
Matthew's victory dance.

What's even more entertaining is when Matt goes all "Matty Dearest" on a 6-year old, demolishing her in a game of bowling with his record score of 257. She's a little girl, Matt! Where's your sportsmanship?

Dinner Party: Lesson #1

Cupcakery makes everything more fun, more messy, and more chaotic.

Stay tuned for more dinner party lessons.

Homemade Cookbook: Done and Done

I was so pissed at myself the other day after I laminated the homemade cookbook I'd been putting together for Bethy.

I mean, did I really need to make it look like a project from vacation bible school?

And then, last night in the middle of a cupcake-making frenzy, I remembered why I had laminated it in the first place, even if the whole thing did turn into a huge debacle.

This is why.

Yes, I was drunk, and yes, I had three-year olds helping me. But there is a value to having recipes that can be wiped clean. Especially for someone like Beth, who is clumsy and rarely uses eating utensils.

So, although the project is a little more elementary school than I had envisioned, I think it turned out pretty nice. I even used it last night when making pork stew, but don't tell Beth.

I love the binder clips.

Ingredients on one side, directions on the other. Hopefully functional.

And I also love the patterns and colors of the paper.

Hopefully Beth and Olivier will love the recipes, and will get fat as a result. They're too skinny.