Following Directions

What is wrong with this picture?

If you said, "there's dessert left on the plate" you're correct.

Tonight Cassie came over for dinner, and since her birthday was last week and we couldn't be with her since she moved to a land far far away, I thought we'd do a small birthday celebration tonight. So I decided to try out a recipe I've been eyeballing, Pioneer Woman's Molten Chocolate Cake. Mmmmmm, chocolate and molten and Cool Whip? How could it go wrong?

Plus, look at Pioneer Woman's gorgeous picture of the finished product. (I love me a good picture of food.)

And, to be fair, mine didn't look that much different. They looked nice, they smelled nice. But their flavor was just blah. They were sweet, sure. But they weren't terribly chocolately, and if I'm making a dessert named "MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE" I want it to be chocolatey. I was sorely disappointed. So was Cassie. We didn't even eat all of them, that's how mediocre they were. "What a sham that Pioneer Woman is!" I thought to myself.

Of course, there's a catch. Here I am, talking shit about Pioneer Woman's recipes when the real problem is me and my ability to follow directions. (It drives Matt crazy. Granted, Matt is a man who measures the water and uses a timer when he makes ramen noodles. He hates my refusal to follow directions and my constant insistance that "It's fine.") My printed out recipe called for "4 pieces (squares) semi-sweet baking chocolate." Somehow I interpreted that as two squares, which was 4 pieces of baking chocolate that were rectangular. How did I get through high school? I got an A in geometry! (And if we're keeping score, this is the second Pioneer Woman food-making endeavor that has gone awry because of my lack of intelligence.)

I didn't realize my mistake until I was writing this post, when I deemed it necessary to double check to make sure that the mistake was on Pioneer Woman's end and not mine. I actually re-read the recipe (something I should have done in the first place). I had put in only half of the chocolate. I suppose it's only natural, then, that my cakes wouldn't have been chocolately enough. Hmph.

Of course. Of course. What is wrong with me? Why don't I understand basic shapes or instructions? I shouldn't be allowed to teach human children, or animal children for that matter.

Oh well.

Moving on, I have noticed that too many of my recent posts have been negative in nature, so I want to add that I decided on some shoes and ordered them (only $21!) and they came today. They're gorgeous and as comfortable as heels are going to be. Now I'm not dreading the fast-approaching school year as much because I know I'll be wearing these beauties.

I'm even considering ordering them in red, for test days or other days that I want to channel the Wicked Witch of the East.

I will think twice, though, before publicly mocking students for failure to follow directions, even if I'm wearing the red shoes.