24 January 2011

A Need and Not a Want, I Don't Care What You Say.

Have you ever been out shopping and seen something that was just so ridiculous, or so weird, or so hilarious, that you knew that you had to buy it? But then you didn't buy it because it was ridiculous/weird/hilarious and you know that responsible adults don't buy such things, so you walked away. And then for the next week you thought about that awesome hilarious weirdness and how much you needed it and so you rationalized the purchase, and went back to the store to splurge--only to find that your treasure was gone.
I've had such regrets.

Like, one time old roommate Cris and I were at TJMaxx around Christmas, and there was this 2 ft. tall stuffed cat, dressed as Santa, holding a scepter and wearing a crown. Cris and I stood in that aisle doubled over laughing for like 20 minutes laughing at that Cat King Santa.

Now is the part where I'd show you a picture of Cat King Santa, but I can't, because it was $35, and we didn't buy it because we were trying to be grown-ups. That was like five years ago, and every time I pull out my Christmas stuff, I think about that glorious opportunity that we missed, and I become sad. Time and again, Cris and I have lamented our poor decision, and every year when TJMaxx puts out their holiday stuff, I hunt for another Cat King Santa, but to no avail.

But I've learned from my mistakes. And that's why this weekend when I was at HomeGoods, I not only found, but also purchased, the greatest object in the history of mankind. (Except for maybe the KitchenAid mixer, but we can have that argument later.)

It's a porcelain roller skate.

Isn't it the greatest thing you've ever seen? It was $25, which is approximately $25 more than one should pay for a porcelain roller skate, but I don't care, because it makes me much more than $25 happy.

I mean, is this roller skate kidding me right now with its awesomeness?

Anyway, lest you think me irresponsible for spending $25 on something so useless, you should know that it'll make a great doorstop (it's super heavy), and that it can be either a groovy sculpture or a flower vase.

 It would also make a great bookend, or defense weapon in case of an intruder. I think I might even use it to store pencils.  Or to earn the respect of one Gloria Gaynor.

What else can I do with my roller skate?


  1. I love this ceramic roller skate. I think it could also be used as a waffle cone holder. Just sayin'.
    P.S. Way to go, YouTube linker! Love it!

  2. Oh man, I was at HomeGoods with the hubs today and we got in a huge argument because I had to HAVE THE SKATE! He did not realize the glory of the skate. It's so awesome. You said just about everything I was thinking when I forked over the $25 for the amazingness that is this skate. Hope it found a happy home!

  3. O. M. G. That's all I have to say, I stumbled upon this exact piece of awesomeness today at Home Goods. It was $80 though! I was so upset, for $25 it would have come home with me. I found your post because I went on an internet hunt to see if I could find it cheaper. I did, but nowhere near the $25 that you got for it. YOu lucky lady. I will keep my hopes up though and hope it turns up in that price range. Hooray for heavy, oversized skates, that double as groovy sculptures and vases.



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