To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
Three things you should know on this fine Thursday.
1. Charlie slept in his crib for the first time ever last night. I've never been so proud of anything (well, I was pretty proud of these, and this, and this, and this) in all my life. Amazeballs!
2. Tomorrow is the last day of school. No day in my life has ever gone by as slowly as today did. Hopefully tomorrow goes by in a flash--until 3:00 when I will crack (rip?) open my celebratory box of wine.
3. I remember random dates. Like, sometimes I'll be all, "Hey, I do believe today is the 20th anniversary of Johnny Carson's last episode of The Tonight Show," or, "Isn't today the birthday of that one-eyed Jehovah's Witness I used to have a crush on?" and, sure enough, I'll be right. It's weird. I mean, I can't remember the endings to movies I've seen multiple times, but I can, on occasion, remember inane facts and dates.
So, anyway, today I was sitting at my desk, my ego all apuffed* because I'd gotten the baby to sleep in his crib, working extremely hard while my students worked extremely hard* and I realized that today was June 7. "Hmph," I thought, "that's my parents' anniversary." Now, we don't celebrate that anymore since they've been divorced for almost a decade, but then I remembered that on their anniversary in 1987--25 YEARS AGO TODAY!--we went to Carowinds, to the wave pool, and I narrowly escaped death. I'm pretty sure I've talked about this on here before, but I was six years old and just splashing around in the wave pool when people started screaming like crazy and my mom started freaking out trying to get me out of the pool. Two girls had been shot in the pool. I don't think I knew that at the time, though. I just remember that it took forever to get out of the park because they had to search everyone to try to find the gun or shooter. Turned out it was a handful of redneck bozos shooting machine guns into the air like a 1/2 mile away. Brilliant, assholes.
25 years ago today I almost died. What'd you do 25 years ago?
*Yeah, that's totally a word. I'm like a modern-day Shakespeare, huh?
*Because, duh, that's what you do on the last two days of school. You DO NOT blow up beach balls and move all of the desks to the side of the room and play dodge ball, like some people I know.