09 May 2011


I mentioned before that Matt and I recently purchased a new elliptical trainer.  And, for those of you who are counting, this is our third elliptical.

The good news is that we actually use our home exercise equipment.  (Well, Matt does, anyway.)

The bad news is that we are so grossly fat that we break all of our home exercise equipment.  (Well, I am, anyway.)

Our former elliptical had gotten to the point where it squeaked and thumped and clicked and scraped and was so incredibly loud that I couldn't even be in the room when Matt was ellipting, much less get on it myself.  I would get on for like 15 seconds, and then become irate and frustrated, and then I'd spend the next hour trying to figure out how to stop the noises.  I had some small successes, but more failures--most of which culminated in me kicking the machine and shouting obscenities.

We needed a new one.  And I looked on Craigslist (where we'd gotten the previous two), but didn't see anything too promising.  Plus, it seemed that we needed a machine with a warranty.

So we researched and read up and checked out Consumer Reports.  And we ended up here, drooling over the Schwinn 430.

Four and a half stars with 518 reviewers!  Shoot yeah!  We talked it over for a day or two, and then decided that it was a good investment.  You know, for health and stuff.

And after some headaches with the transit company (What?  They just forgot to put it in the truck???), we had it at home and Cassie and I put it together.

Along with the alan wrench, we had two very important tools: a knife and some wine.  It's common knowledge that when putting together exercise equipment, one will have much more success if he is drinking wine.  Also, I'm pretty sure that that's in the book of Proverbs.  THE BIBLE, people!

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the elliptical.  We totes got that thing together in two hours.  It might not have taken so long had one of our tools not been wine, but it would have been much less fun, too.  Plus, we told Matt that we put it together in 38 minutes.  Pfffffffffft.

Anyway, the new elliptical is out of control wonderful.  It's smooth and silent and smart and has a smaller footprint than the old clunky one.  And it has a warranty in case we break it.  And now I love to ellipt again, and I can do it whilst watching one of the best shows of all time.

Oh, Dylan.

(Ummmmm, Kelly totes just got shot, y'all.  And Brandon was so precise in describing the shooter to the detective and the detective was all, "Are you sure about this?" and Brandon was all, "Yes, I'm positive.  And I'll tell you something else.  You put him in front of me, and I'll kill him."  All this after the gang returned from Donna's Hawaiian work trip where she completely ruined the modeling shoot and David fell down a cliff when he was trying to tie his hiking boot!  AND!  They were all wearing these hideous long pastel dresses.  The gals from Beverly Hills were looking more like the women from Juniper Creek to me.)

The best part of the new elliptical, though, is that it has a feature that allows me to see into the future.

I see. . .

. . .in about two months. . . .

. . .Matt at the beach. . .

. . .and me, too!

This thing is magical!

1 comment:

  1. The new elliptical is so quiet. Last Tuesday I ellipted all night and you didn't even hear me.



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