14 January 2010

Eye Might Puke.

Matt and I are big fans of the boneless skinless chicken breast. Because we found them on sale for $1.99/pound, our freezer is currently full of them. Like, full full. But that's not my story.

You see, last night, while we were whipping up an old favorite meal, Ana y Jose chicken (cajun chicken breasts with jalapeno cheese melted on top--fancy, I know). I took my nicely thawed chicken breasts and began to trim them up, and to pound them with what I call my meat hammer. I think the official name is a meat tenderizer, but I prefer meat hammer.

And I was pounding away at the chicken, holding my hand up to keep chicken bits or juice from flying all over everything when--I want to puke just thinking about it--a piece of raw chicken flew into my eye. Not my eyelid or near my eye. It flew directly onto my eyeball. As you might imagine, I freaked out and started rubbing my eye. Only, I had somehow gotten cajun spice on my hands, so my eye started to burn. I had to go to the bathroom to flush out my eye with water, and I pulled the eyelid away from my eye to see if I could see the RAW CHICKEN.

Raw chicken in my eye.

Well, I didn't see anything, so I decided that it must be okay.

I was wrong.

When I was getting ready for school this morning, I looked in the mirror and saw a really big sleepie. (What do you call the gunk that gathers in the corner of your eye? I call them sleepies. Others call them sheepshit. Is there a scientific term for overnight eye gunk?) Only, it wasn't a sleepie. It was the chicken.

So, party people, there you have it. Raw chicken in my eye overnight.

Excuse me while I vomit and schedule a doctor's appointment for my eyeball salmonella.


  1. I just call that "sleep".

    Since I wear contacts and am constantly getting stuff stuck in my eyes, I'm kind of desensitized. However, I've never had chicken in my eye. Usually it's an eyelash or a dog hair or a tiny gnat.

  2. Here's a thought...next time you need to pound your chicken, put it in a gallon sized ziploc bag, get all the air out and seal it up. Then, wrap it in a towel and pound away. Your chicken gets the hell beat out of it, but there is no chicken bits strewn around your kitchen, or bodily orifices. Or would that be orifici? Did working at BDubs teach you nothing about chicken. YUCK!!!!

  3. Oh yeah, and we call them "eye boogers." Pretty appropriate, eh?



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