Notes on American Idol

Matt and I were anti-Idol until the writer's strike a couple of years back. The absence of good TV left us longing for something more, and, desperate for some new television, we threw away our pride.

Yay for throwing away pride.

So, yeah, I'd scoffed and mocked, but Simon Cowell has made me a believer. Here's why:

• Simon is hot. Like hot hot. Like surly British guy who says things like "Chin up" to a crying wannabe singer hot.
• I love passing judgment. Idol provides a great judgment-passing forum. At this point, too, Matt and I are pretty good at predicting what the judges will say. We like to play little predicting games here (similar to our Jeopardy! winning in life game or our "guess what time it is" game), where we predict exactly what the judges will say. You can't go wrong with some, "Dawg, you could sing the phone book!"
• The heartwarming stories. I usually don't get through a single audition episode without sobbing a little. This girl's taking care of her ailing grandma? That girl's dad died the day before? His WIFE died? I could start crying just thinking of past audition shows.
• Ryan. What a strange little man. Remember when he tried to high-five the blind guy?
• Hollywood Week. I f'ing love Hollywood Week. I especially love the group auditions and the drama they bring.
• I love when it's obvious that the judges have hangovers.
• Singing and dancing! Horray for singing and dancing. Second to watching Center Stage twice a week, Idol is the best place to go for singing and dancing fun.
• Wide appeal. I love that I can talk to colleagues, students, my sister, and my grandma about this show. There's something special about a show that appeals to such a wide range of people.

Now, this isn't to say that I love everything about American Idol. I've tired of the gimmicky weirdo auditions and people who try too hard (and, no, "Pants on the Ground" does not fall into this category. That song is BRILLIANT!). I hate the long commercial breaks (we wouldn't watch the show at all if it wasn't for DVR). And I really hate Kara.

I hate how she makes bedroom eyes at young boys. And I hate how she claims every pop song is brilliant (stole that one from Matt. No, Kara, Shania Twain's "I Feel Like a Woman" is not the masterpiece you claim it to be).

Hopefully, this cool cat ("think you a cool cat?. . .lookin' like a foo' with your pants on the ground") will compensate for Kara's tremendous suck.

I've loved Ellen since her ABC sitcom days, since the time her show was called These Friends of Mine and not Ellen. She's super funny and sassy.

Plus, it was from Ellen that I stole one of my favorite games of all time: pretending that the plots of movies actually happened to me. It's best to play this game when in line at a tourist attraction. Tanya and I used to do this like champions. "Hey, Tan, remember that time you went to that vacation resort with your family and then fell in love with that dance instructor? That was crazy! I can't believe your dad thought he'd knocked up that girl!"

Try it sometime. And thank Ellen. And watch American Idol. It's really fun, and Simon's sexy.