Hello, 2010.

Deepest apologies for the lack of posts lately. I've been spending my days perusing the inventory of each Gap in town, working to pay for the shopping, hosting our friends Brian and Maureen who are here for some good times, and basically moving from the couch to my bed back to the couch. It's been pretty great. So here's some random stuff for your reading pleasure:

• Wow, how mean of me to leave up the post about my stinky feet for you to click on over and over. Sorry about that. Next time I abandon the blog for a week I'll leave up a picture of a cute puppy or something.


• I want a puppy. I know that I don't, and I know I shouldn't tempt fate because I already havea the greatest pup on the planet, but I just love them. It's a bad decision, though, and I know that. Deep breaths, no puppy. More deep breaths.


• Maureen and Brian are huge fans of Family Feud. Brian's comments during the show are nothing short of philosophical, and the commercials that air during the show demonstrate that we are NOT the targeted demographic, and won't be for another 45 years. A few more days of sitting around eating pounds of Mexican food and wearing my Snuggie, though, and I just might need that special stick tool to help me put on my shoes. Seriously. That's a real thing. But what I really want is the mechanical chair to get me up the stairs. Or maybe the rubber band to put around my stomach to get me to lose weight.


• And while we're on it, I'm not making any New Year's resolutions. I never do them. That's actually a lie. I've followed through on my resolutions 3 times: 1.) When I was in third grade and vowed that by the end of the year I would beat Super Mario Brothers 2. Check. 2.) When I was in 10th grade and was determined to teach myself to raise one eyebrow. Check. 3.) When I was a senior in college and, with my friend Becky, decided that we would "let ourselves go." Like in a fat and sloppy kind of way. Check. (Maybe that wasn't the smartest resolution to make?)


• Maybe I should do the reverse psychology resolution? Like, I'll resolve to gain 50 pounds. Then, if I don't follow through, great. If I do, I'll be overweight enough to get that stomach band that's advertised during Family Feud?


• And, finally, last night I got a call from my brother Jordan, who said that he'd gotten a call from our father asking if he was okay. Apparently, someone called my Grandma Carol and Grandpa B, and told them that their grandson (Jordan's the only grandson) had rented a car to get to a wedding in Toronto, and had somehow landed himself in prison and therefore needed money for bail. (I believe this is a somewhat-common scam.) My grandparents didn't think too much of it, fortunately. Jordan, though, told me, "Man, I must've been really drunk because I don't remember that AT ALL. . .I just hope I don't have some Canadian warrant out for my arrest. I mean, I'd be just, like, sitting at a bar having a beer, and all of a sudden some Mounties would come in and arrest me."

Happy New Year!