05 August 2010

Buy Me Some Peanuts and Shut That Kid Up!

After our adventures with Dave, and after we met up with Best Friend in Brooklyn to don our skinny jeans and vintage tees, Matt and I went to Citi Field to attend a Mets game.  Since I'd never attended a professional sporting event (how is that?), I enjoyed this first.  And I enjoyed the air conditioning on the subway.  And I enjoyed the smell of the food.  And I enjoyed the complimentary umbrellas. 

I did not enjoy the heat.

I also did not enjoy the boy who was sitting next to me.  He was approximately 16 years old, and dorky (and not in a cool way) as can be.  Here's the back of his head.

His mom's the one a few seats over in the red.  I wonder if she maybe did drugs while pregnant, or if perhaps she should have told the little shit "no" a few times during his life.  Lucky for me, I got to sit right next to him (Matt got to sit next to a cool, funny old guy), which gave me a special opportunity to listen to his stupid, stupid commentary throughout the game.  Apparently, he believed that to be a true fan, one had to be an OBNOXIOUS fan.  So he screamed, and he yelled, and he made attempts at heckling (even less original, if it's possible, than this guy), and he tried to start chants "CARLOS BELTRAN--CLAP--CLAP--CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!"  At one point he even claimed that he had no friends.  (Shocking!)  It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut. 

The highlight of this Garbage-Pail-Look-a-Like came when his mom left to go get refreshments. 

Mom:  Do you want me to get you something to drink?  A sprite?
GPLAL: No, I don't want a Sprite!  I want a Pepsi.
Mom: But you don't need any more caffeine.
Mom: Fine.

Thanks for blessing the world with your spawn, lady.

Anyway, on to the rest of the game.

(I kind of wanted to fight this girl for her hot dog.)
(Matt had to keep an eye on me to keep me from stealing her hot dog.)

The stadium was incredible, and the food was overpriced and delicious. (Can't go wrong with Nathan's hot dogs.)  The game itself was pretty cool, and apparently was neat even by baseball-fan standards.  There was a homerun by some guy who was good at hitting, and it made the big apple inflate! 

There was a pitcher who throws something called knuckle balls named Dickey (the pitcher, not the balls), who almost threw a complete game.  And the Mets beat the cardinals 4-0.  Is that called a shutout?  I don't know.  Oh, and there was this guy named Pujols who's on the other team who is apparently super good, but he wasn't good that day.  As Matt put it, "Dickey's had Pujols's number all day."  I guess they were going to meet for coffee and cupcakes after the game.

I think the best part of the game for me was when it rained.  Even though we had received complimentary umbrellas upon entering the stadium, when we saw that it was raining, Matt and I opted to stand with our arms stretched wide, eyes toward the sky (kind of like Andy toward the end of Shawshank Redemption).  It was refreshing and amazing, and also made the stands look pretty cool.

So that was that.  After the game we met back up with Best Friend, but I'll tell you more about that later.

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