12 November 2009

Post Office Crush

The only thing I had to do yesterday was to go to the post office. That was the ONLY THING. (Of course, I created additional tasks for myself, one of which was to bake cream cheese blondies.) But the post office was closed. Veterans Day.

The closure of the post office was disappointing partly because I couldn't cross anything off of my to-do list, but it was really disappointing because I felt that I'd been denied the opportunity to rendezvous with my post office crush, Byron. I love Byron, and I have for years.

I even snapped a picture of him today.
Byron is the opposite of the post office stereotype. He's happy, friendly, unarmed. He also flirts with me (or so I tell myself), which is disarming. "Mailing a package to Virginia, are we?" and "Anything perishable in here?" (I guess you had to be there--these were said in a decidedly flirty manner.) I just giggle and look away, coy girl that I am.

The first time I saw my post office crush I knew we had a special connection. You know how you can tell, what with the eye contact and the smiles and the great customer service. The second time I saw him I was with Matt, and I told Matt that I had a crush on one of the workers. Matt knew immediately which one had caught my fancy--Byron, tall, handsome, witty, a winning smile. But, because Byron is about 50 and about as unattainable as they come, Matt didn't feel threatened. And knowing my track record on crushes, I must acknowledge that there's about a 90% chance that Byron is gay.

But I hope not.

What would be a menial task is now fun with a chance of romance. I stand there in line, with two grouchy women and the shining light of Byron taking customers. The entire time I stand in line I try to manipulate the situation so that I can go to Byron's line. "Hey, old lady, do you need to go ahead of me?" "Move it, kid, I was here first!"

And then Byron and I share a moment, and I look at his name tag, learn his last name, and try to decide if it'd be creepy if I tried to friend him on Facebook.

Yes, it would pretty much be the creepiest thing that ever happened.

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