Reasons Not To Divorce

I think that Matt and I have a pretty good, healthy marriage. We rarely fight, and when we do it's over pretty quickly. We're considerate of one another, and we're nice to one another, and we genuinely like each other. I think we're in good shape (marriage-wise, of course. It's clear to anyone who knows us that we're not in good shape physically).

We don't get sick of each other, which is remarkable considering how much of an irritating misanthrope I am. How Matt has put up with me for so many years is sometimes baffling (but I think it has something to do with my learning how to cook).

My point is, I don't anticipate divorce for obvious reasons. But there are more reasons that we discuss, reasons that we wouldn't divorce each other even if we wanted to.

1. Mitch.
2. We don't want to date. It looks positively awful.
3. We have a great bed.
4. We have a nice tv.
5. We would have to change the name of the blog.
6. We would have to change our Facebook relationship status.

Yesterday I logged on to Facebook and saw this:

And it really made me think. My first thought was, "Wow, from 'married' to 'single' to 'in an open relationship,' all in the same day!" But my second thought was about how weird and uncomfortable the Facebook relationship status is.

It's all good when we get to announce our relationships, right? In a relationship with ______! Engaged! Married! Horray!

But what happens if things go south? Then, not only do we have to suffer through the pain of relationship problems, but we must also announce said problems to the world wide web? That sucks. Bad.

And what is the appropriate action to take when an acquaintance must so publicly announce the end of a relationship? An "I'm so sorry" tree for their Farmtown farm? A bumper sticker? Perhaps Facebook really should add that "dislike" button?

Now I'm kicking myself because I told Facebook that I am married to Matt, and for some twisted reason I feel like that announcement was as much of a commitment as the marriage itself.

I guess we better keep being nice, because I'm not changing that status for anything. And I'm sure as hell not separating myself from Mitch!