20 April 2010

Haste Makes Dead

What the hell is this?*

Now, from what I understand, this is a movie about some girl who answers letters that are left in some courtyard in Verona, Italy.  Supposedly this is some Romeo and Juliet love courtyard, and these people leave letters seeking advice from Juliet about love.

Now this is my problem. 

Juliet is an idiot.

Romeo is an even bigger idiot.

She'd have been better off with Paris.

I read this play every year, several times a year, and every time I read it I hate these characters even more.  The work itself is fantastic, but Romeo and Juliet are just so grating with their stupidity and haste.  I'm kind of glad they die at the end. 

So, yeah, let's seek advice from Juliet, a fourteen-year-old who married a guy she met the night before, a guy who was madly in love with her cousin until he crashed a party and met her.  Oh yeah, and then he killed her cousin and got himself banished and then killed himself.  A real prize you've got there, Jules!

And you, Romeo?  Couldn't wait a hot minute, could you?  Dummy.

As you can tell, I'm a real romantic.  Or maybe I'm just reeling from the hours and hours of watching knocked up 16-year old pregnant morons.

*As much as I will kvetch about this movie and its premise, there is a 134% chance that I will watch it one Saturday night on HBO while Matt is working--just like I do with that damned Sex and the City movie (which I always pledge never again to watch when Carrie asks longingly "Will I ever laugh again?"  BARF!), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (which is actually good), or Center Stage (It was a one-night stand, Jodi!).

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