1. I have been in a terrible mood today, and for no good reason, either. Well, one good reason, perhaps. I have poison ivy all over my face. If you're thinking to yourself, "Man, Mandy sure does get poison ivy a lot," well then you'd be right. Hey, universe, I'd like to trade in this intense poison ivy allergy for a seafood allergy. (I don't even eat seafood.) The only good thing about having poison ivy all over your face (okay, well two good things because I'm milking it like a sombitch--"Matt, can you get me my glass of wine? I can't because I have poison ivy all over my face.") is that I get to say multiple times a day, "I'M A MONSTER" in my best Buster Bluth voice.
2. Matt's at bar trivia right now. I'm not there because I was being such a miserable human being earlier this evening and I didn't think it would be nice to subject people to being around me. Plus, I went last week and I spent the last 10 minutes (felt like ten hundred!) listening to members of Matt's trivia team (including Matt, even though he maintains that he was only in the argument because of a logical fallacy) debate another trivia team about who would win in a fight, Superman or Batman. Seriously. That happened. I've never felt so cool in all my life. Matt would like me to tell you that those discussion do not happen every week. Uh huh.
3. Listening to my Motown Christmas music Pandora station right this second. I love Christmas music. But I always give a thumbs down to anything by Chris Brown because he hits ladies.
4. Had a dream last night that there was a drive-shooting and I thought Matt was killed except that then it was just a paintball drive-by and I got super mad and yelled at the driver and made him feel awful and then John and Sherry from Young House Love were our next-door neighbors and they came over and helped us fix up our house after the paintball attack. They're so nice.
5. We had a monster of a wasp in the house today. Matt killed it with my shoe. Well, sort of. He split it in half and then the front half kept on living and trying to kill us for like five minutes. Then I told Matt that I couldn't even wear that poison shoe anymore and he blamed me. He said that the wasp was a result of my evil angry mood and that I'd just opened my mouth and it flew out.
Here's to a happy, less swollen Wednesday!
2. Matt's at bar trivia right now. I'm not there because I was being such a miserable human being earlier this evening and I didn't think it would be nice to subject people to being around me. Plus, I went last week and I spent the last 10 minutes (felt like ten hundred!) listening to members of Matt's trivia team (including Matt, even though he maintains that he was only in the argument because of a logical fallacy) debate another trivia team about who would win in a fight, Superman or Batman. Seriously. That happened. I've never felt so cool in all my life. Matt would like me to tell you that those discussion do not happen every week. Uh huh.
3. Listening to my Motown Christmas music Pandora station right this second. I love Christmas music. But I always give a thumbs down to anything by Chris Brown because he hits ladies.
4. Had a dream last night that there was a drive-shooting and I thought Matt was killed except that then it was just a paintball drive-by and I got super mad and yelled at the driver and made him feel awful and then John and Sherry from Young House Love were our next-door neighbors and they came over and helped us fix up our house after the paintball attack. They're so nice.
5. We had a monster of a wasp in the house today. Matt killed it with my shoe. Well, sort of. He split it in half and then the front half kept on living and trying to kill us for like five minutes. Then I told Matt that I couldn't even wear that poison shoe anymore and he blamed me. He said that the wasp was a result of my evil angry mood and that I'd just opened my mouth and it flew out.
Here's to a happy, less swollen Wednesday!
Posts
hahaha, I do the Buster routine every time I have an ailment. much love.
ReplyDeleteHave you acquired a taste for mammal blood?
ReplyDeleteno, but I occasionally wear a little yellow bow-tie.
ReplyDelete