27 September 2010

Hello, Biological Clock. It's Interesting Meeting You Here.

I have rabies.

Baby rabies.*

I don't really know what happened, or how it happened, or what.  It started like this.  This summer there was much talk of my sister coming to live with us.  Our willingness and eagerness to have her come live here, though, wasn't to fulfill any inner desire to parent; instead it was to help her escape the throes of living with our psycho bitch of a mother and her asshole husband.  But Chloe didn't end up coming here (long story; it's not ideal, but it's better than where she was), and somehow that fight, that horribly emotionally taxing struggle, unearthed in Matt and me a desire to procreate.

What the hell?

It sure did, and we haven't looked back yet.  (Bud don't worry, there will be no baby Felds for some time.  But last night I talked to Becky about names, and she pointed out that I could give a kid the intials WTF, which made me want to have a baby tomorrow.  Winnie Trudy?  Wynn Thelma?  William Theodore?)  And now I find myself doing and saying things that are completely unrecognizable and out of character.  I'm interested in topics that would have made me want to puke all over myself just a few months ago, and I'll spit stuff out in conversation like "Well, when we have a baby. . ."  It's a lot like being possessed by a demon, I believe (even though, to the best of my knowledge, I've never been possessed by a demon.  Unless you want to count Parrot Bay.). 

One way that I knew that I'd completely lost my mind was that I was giddy about buying baby clothes this week.  (Not for me or any future Felds.  I'm not that crazy.  They are for Iris and Opal's new sister, June, who will be arriving in November.)  I don't even like baby clothes--at least I didn't like baby clothes before.**  But since I'm now possessed by a demon, everything's changed.  So this weekend, while shopping for Baby June, I gave all of my money to the Gap. 

But can you blame me?

(Gap had 40% off of all of the clearance items in the kid sections, so I actually got all of this stuff for $45.  There was also a three-pack of white long-sleeved onesies that I forgot to photograph.)

Well, I should go research cloth diapers or how to make homemade baby food or whatever else this damned demon inside me wants to do.  While I'm doing that I'll look around for the Mandy of years past. 

Happy week to you!

*Thanks again for the term, Carly.

**Now, there is one exception to this particular stance, which is Baby Gap and Gap Kids clothes, which strike a beautiful marriage between adult styles and kid design.  Basically, I want to dress myself in Gap Kids clothes.


  1. I gotta give credit for "baby rabies" to my sister-in-law. I'm glad it's making its way into the vernacular.

    Also glad you explained that you're not just buying baby clothes for your imaginary child. That would be a whole new level of baby rabies, I think. ;)

  2. Oooh, yeah, that would be super creepy. Plus, doesn't that kind of jinx things?



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