Wrong Number

For some reason, I often find myself in situations where I'm privy to weirdly private information about others.  Remember the Wild Tiger, Lion Heart note? 

Well, lately, I've been receiving some text messages that were supposed to go to someone else.  But because the writer of said messages does not pay attention to detail--or can't spot it when someone's giving them a fake number--I get to have some entertainment.

Last night I got this message:

Just so you know newman is an always will be my life.  I swear an i mean swear i never wanted to hurt him.  That man has saved me so much.  I love him an always will.

This Newman?

I'm not gonna lie to you: I thought it was pretty funny.  And I thought for about two seconds about texting back or calling the person to tell them that they have the wrong number, but I decided not to.

And then today I got this message:

You may not wanna talk to me because you think i lied to you well i didnt.  When newman started to hit me pull my hair an tell me he will kill me yeah i did something bout that.

Winona Thelma Feldmann!

And now I'm really torn about whether or not I should let this person know they've got the wrong number.  On one hand, I feel bad for them.  On the other, I think it best to stay out of this crazy Newman business.

What would you do?

Phone Pictures

I'm a cough drop addict. 

So is Mitch.

Any time I am eating a cough drop at home, this is what I see.

Damn spoiled dog. 

Also, because I'm being super productive today (and by super productive, I mean that I slept until 1:00 and ate four pieces of leftover pizza while watching the news and some horrible Jessica-Simpson-Goes-to-Japan-and-Acts-Like-a-Moron show), I decided that it was high time to sort through stuff on my phone.  So, on this very exciting Thursday, I give you a year in phone pictures (mostly of that spoiled dog).

1.  Grandma on her Blackberry.

I love this.  Here's my Grandma on a gorgeous summer day, lounging on her back porch, swinging and watching videos of cats on YouTube on her new Blackberry.  And the dog under the swing?  Why is he so cute?

2.  Fletcher.

Oh, aching uterus!  This was one of our first times meeting Fletcher.  I can't remember if we turned his ears inside out of if that happened while he ran around like a maniac.  It doesn't matter, though, because he has one of the cutest little dog faces.  And he's about ten times bigger than that now.

3.  Back in the Day Bakery meal.

Rosemary chicken salad sandwich and an old-fashioned cupcake.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  This was one day last summer when I decided that Mitch deserved to go downtown and see the sights.  About thirty seconds in, I realized that I'd made a horrible mistake, but was so excited about this food that I suffered through my psychopathic and racist dog harrassing every person who walked by.

4.  Bethy.

I took this picture in Olivier's parents' basement, right after talking to Becky on the phone.  Becky was devastated because she had pneumonia and was not able to go to the wedding.  We called her from the reception, and sent her this picture via text.  That weekend was amazing, but kind of bittersweet because I knew how sad Becky was that she couldn't be there.

5.  Cat at the vet's.

Took Mitch to the vet in December to get a heartworm test.  He's not a big fan of going to the vet, and while we waited for the results of the test in the lobby, Mitch discovered that there was a cat in this cage.  He barked; the cat hissed; I cussed.  It was less than fun.

6.  Maureen and Mitch.

When Maureen and Brian came to Savannah over New Year's, Mitch was not terribly generous with his couch.  But at least he'll let people use him as a pillow.

7.  Papers to grade.

Poetry portfolios?  Apparently I am a masochist. 

8.  Walk to Daffin Park.

Savannah has some beautiful parks, and lucky for us, this one's only a few blocks away from our house.  Mitch loves the long walks, and loves to roll around in the freshly-cut grass (and stain his face green).  I love being able to see fireworks from my living room window on weekends. Daffin Park is also home to the oldest minor leage baseball stadium in the country.  Babe Ruth played there.  That's pretty cool.

9.  Freedom Tickler?

Are you kidding me, gas station bathroom in South Carolina?!  This makes me want to go to Target, and to protest wars, and to eat some French toast.  Crazy ass people and their fake patriotism. 

10.  Cutest thing ever.

Blurry, but ridiculously cute.  I'll give him as many cough drops as he wants.

Nerd Post: Sloanism

Yesterday, Matt got a new phone. He'd had his old one for 3 years, and it finally kirked out. Matt's not generally a fan of change, and seemed to find himself in awe of the phone choices now available to him: keypads and touch screens and colors and slidey things and interwebs. It's so interesting how many choices there are now for something so simple as a phone.


And while we sat there at Best Buy I got all nerdy on Matt and starting going on about one of my favorite things: Sloanism. I learned about Sloanism when I was a junior in college and signed up for what I thought would be a bullshit history class, The Automobile in Twentieth Century America. I figured it'd be an easy A, and I would actually get to be in a class with boys (I was an English major at a school with a girl to guy ratio of 2:1). I was right about one part, I was one of two girls in a class of 30. What I'd been wrong about, however, was how much I would learn in the class. Hell, the teacher even introduced me to Car Talk on NPR! But back to Sloanism.


In short, Sloanism has to do with capitalism and what a company can do to prosper once its market becomes saturated. Alfred Sloan's principles originated when he tried to revamp the automobile market after the Great Depression. To sell more cars, the car companies provided more options to consumers; they introduced new body styles each year, provided new and impressive features and colors--a direct contrast to Henry Ford's well-known remark that "Any customer can have a car painted any colour he wants so long as it's black." (You can read about Sloanism in more detail here and here.) In many ways, Sloanism has helped to propel capitalism because people (particularly we Americans) are always buying more stuff, even if the stuff we already have is working fine. We want the newest and prettiest and coolest stuff to show off our individuality. This principle is how we went from these cell phones. . .


. . .to these cell phones.

Today I also came across this video about one of my favorite things, the KitchenAid stand mixer, and its color history. You know, how we go from this. . .

. . .to this.

Aren't they gorgeous? Although the KitchenAid mixer has introduced a host of new colors, its basic design and function has evolved very little over the years. I think that's part of the appeal. Also, even if you don't use it, you can buy a KitchenAid mixer and display it as though it is a piece of art.

I have an old white KitchenAid that Matt's godfather, my soulmate Bill, gave to me in January. It's amazing and beautiful and has kept me fat, and it's one of my favorite things. I was thinking about having my car painter of a brother paint it a pretty color for me, perhaps turquoise or lime green. What do you think? Should I leave it alone, or try to improve something that needs no real improvement?