Homemade Oatmeal Creme Pies

I've mentioned a while back that my mom, who dropped out of high school, homeschooled my brother and me for a year.  And how I spent my entire sixth grade year not learning to dance or discovering life science, but instead watching I Dream of Jeannie, jumping on the trampoline, and eating oatmeal creme pies.  


Oatmeal creme pies still hold a special place in my heart*, so it seemed only fitting that I should try my hand at making them when I found myself with a big bowl full of sugary creamy goodness (a failed attempt at making marshmallow creme cheese frosting).


I'd never actually made an oatmeal cookie, probably because I'm not that big a fan of raisins and it seems that oatmeal and raisins are always hanging out with each other.  But just recently, Cassie was telling me about how she's never made anything from Smitten Kitchen that disappointed, so I went there first.  And hell if Cassie wasn't right.  Oh, Deb.  You and your perfect cookies.


Full disclosure: I also chose this recipe because I already had all of the ingredients on hand.  You probably do, too.


So I set out to make the cookies, and about four minutes later they were in the oven, making the whole house smell amazing.  

And about 12 minutes after that, I had a bunch of little bites of wonderful.

Throw in some creme, and voila!

These were super fast and easy, and the only thing that I don't like about them is that I can't stop eating them.  Will someone please come to my house and eat all of these cookies before I polish them off.  Matt's not a fan of oatmeal cookies**, and Mitch and I are dieting.***


Oh, and these are so quick and simple that you could totes whip up a batch to take to a Memorial Day picnic or something.  Or whip up for yourself to eat whilst lying on the couch on your extra day off this weekend.

*And some real prime real estate on my ass and thighs, too.

**Who the hell doesn't like oatmeal cookies??  When Matt pulls this kind of crap, like when he talks about how he doesn't like pizza or about how he absolutely must get on the elliptical, I wonder to myself, "Can this marriage last?"  

***Pffffffffft.  

Oatmeal Creme Pies


For the cookie.  (Only slightly adapted from Deb's recipe.)



1/2 cup (1 stick or 4 ounces) butter, softened
1/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/3 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups rolled oats

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).


In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla until smooth. In a separate bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together. Stir this into the butter/sugar mixture. Stir in the oats, raisins and walnuts, if using them.


At this point you can either chill the dough for a bit in the fridge and then scoop it, or scoop the cookies onto a sheet and then chill the whole tray before baking them. You could also bake them right away, if you’re impatient, but I do find that they end up slighly less thick.


The cookies should be two inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake them for 10 to 12 minutes (your baking time will vary, depending on your oven and how cold the cookies were going in), taking them out when golden at the edges but still a little undercooked-looking on top. Let them sit on the hot baking sheet for five minutes before transferring them to a rack to cool.


For the creme.


You could really use whatever creme filling you'd like here.  I am partial to cream cheese frosting, so for that you need:


3 oz. cream cheese
1 tbsp. butter
1/3 teaspoon vanilla
powdered sugar to desired taste and thickness (1/2 cup to 1 cup)


Cream the butter and cream cheese in a large bowl.  Add the vanilla.  Slowly add the sugar.  If you sift the sugar first, it'll be more smooth.




Note: I didn't chill my cookie dough because I wanted the cookies to be a little more on the flat side.  If you want yours thicker, chill the dough for thirty minutes or so.

Matt: Singer/Songwriter

Man, you know how you know when you're bored and determined to be a waste of space?  Well, it happens when you start Googling yourself.  And that's what I was just doing, because apparently I want to become a pile of gelatinous ooze.  Or because I'm just psyching myself up to make the best ice cream that's ever been made.  I'd go with the former if I were you.*

So, anyway, back to the Googling.  Well, I Googled "matt mandy mitch" to see what that would turn up.**

And among a few other things (one of which was a Mitch Hedberg joke-a-day list), this video came up.



I said that it was some kind of children's church.  Matt said that, no, it wasn't.  He said that, instead, it was some kind of Children of the Corn cult.***  Then he broke out into his own verse:

". . .then we kill our parents with knives--IN THE BACK YARD!"

Isn't Matt the best?


*It doesn't matter anyway, because I was productive enough at school in the last two days to make up for seven weeks of doing nothing.


**Yes, I am a narcissistic dork, but you are, too.  Don't even try to act like you've never done it.

***I haven't actually seen that movie because I don't watch scary movies because they scare me.

This and That

1.  Watched The Blind Side the other night.  Caitie had raved about it, and I think it was at that point where she began to seek out a Taco Bell mogul and wear sassy suits.  Anyway, it was on HBO OnDemand and I was tired enough to sit down for two hours, but not so tired that movie narcolepsy would kick in.  Oh, and I cried approximately 785 times. 

2.  Back in the Day Bakery's Cheryl has shared with the world her recipe for Old Fashioned Cupcakes.  They're incredible, and not that hard to make! (Though I couldn't bring myself to add 8 whole cups of sugar to an icing recipe, so mine was a little too liquidy.  In the future, I'll actually halve the recipe, because I'm good at fractions and don't want to get the diabetes.)

3. I love these v-neck shirts from the Gap.  I first bought the green, and then went back for the hot pink.  Then I got the dark heathered grey.  Then the heathered blue.  Then I went back and lost my mind when I bought the white, the fuschia, the purple, the regular dark grey, and the camel.  (On that last trip the shirts were marked down to $3.67/each, so I went a little bananas.)  Apparently, I am completely incapable of moderation.   Also, I don't need tshirts again until 2020.

4. How funny is Mitch's entourage?

5. Grandma Carol, I mailed you something!

6. Found a beautiful cake plate at Macy's yesterday.  Half off?  Yes, please.  Now I just need to make a chocolate cake.  This one will do.

7. Becky got me to watch Freaky Eaters this weekend.  It was. . .freaky.  How is the girl who subsists on cola alone (and not even some specific brand of cola?) even still alive?  I don't get it.

8. I was very, very happy to see the glee club team get eliminated from Amazing Race last night.  If I had to watch them serenade one more cab driver I was going to throw something at the TV, and then Matt would be mad at me for breaking his baby. 
9. Did I ever tell you that I was homeschooled in the sixth grade?  Yeah, my mom (who dropped out of high school) decided that she could do a better job of educating my brother and me than, say, a school full of actual teachers could.  So what happened?  I spent a year eating oatmeal creme pies and jumping on the trampoline.  And I would spend about one day each week doing schoolwork.  I was a little manic even back then, and would be either super focused and organized and hardworking, or lying on the trampoline in a Little Debbie sugar coma.

10.  Matt and Mitch are currently napping on the couch.  I think they're on to something.  G'night!

(This picture has nothing to do with anything.  I just think it's funny.)