What We're Watching

Matt and I are unapologetic TV addicts.  Fortunately for us, the quality of television shows has increased tremendously in the last decade or so, so we can be entertained by smart, beautiful programming.  And then, of course, there's Teen Mom.

Anyway, here's what we've been watching lately:

1.  Football.  This one's more Matt than me.  He watches and I provide commentary.  For example, when one of the refs threw a flag during the Bills game this afternoon, I hollered, "Ooooooh, someone's in trouble!"  Then I fell asleep for four hours.  Oh well.

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2.  Boardwalk Empire.  Ooh, what a pretty and smart show!  We are both really enjoying the glimpse into Atlantic City during prohibition.  Martin Scorcese and HBO?  Yes, please.  We're an episode behind, though, because every time we go to watch it I fall asleep.  Oops.  (Also, don't make old timey Omar kill your ass.)

3.  The Office.  The new season of this old favorite has had a really strong start.  I think my favorite little storyline so far has been Pam creating herself an entirely new position.  I just got caught up with The Office because I'd fallen asleep during last week's episode.  Does anyone else think that I might have narcolepsy?

4.  30 Rock.  Another strong start to a season!  There's a special place in my heart for 30 Rock, and I'm still working on getting Matt to dress up as Werewolf Bar Mitzvah for Halloween.  I think the only way I'll get him to do it is to get in a big fight with him that is his fault, and to cry and then say that the only way he can make it up to me is to dress up for Halloween. 

5.  Modern Family.  This might just be my favorite show.  And while all of the characters are wonderful, I think Phil might just be my favorite.  (He's the most like Ross Gellar, I've decided.)

6. Amazing Race.  Even though this season's teams are pretty crappy, we're still watching.  I wish I'd chosen Kev Jumba and his dad, though.  I also wish there was a watermelon face smash on every episode!

7.  Teen Mom.  We've talked about this one a lot, and it's simultaneously the best and worst thing on TV right now.  I can't believe that the next episode is going to be the season finale!  Matt would like to point out that he does not watch this show, because he is above trash like this and prefers high brow entertainment, which you will discover with item number 10.

8.  The News.  I'm a little bit of a news junkie.  My favorite news show is Rachel Maddow.  Watching her show is educational and entertaining, and she's not a maniacal idealogue like some other hosts.  And she has Kent, and she's really tall, so that's good.

9.  Glee.  Just kidding.  We stopped watching that in the middle of last season.  I just couldn't make myself care anymore.

10.  Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  This season takes place in Prague, and the elimination battles happen in the "Gulag". As in, Brandon and Derrick will be facing off in The Gulag. WTF?  What's the next season going to be?  The Challenge: Auschwitz?  There was even a part where the players had to go into a gas chamber to read a clue.  One of the girls mentioned that she shouldn't go into the gas chamber because she has asthma and it would be unhealthy for her.  You know, because gas chambers are only bad for you if you have asthma.  Matt is more invested in this than I am, but I join him in watching it sometimes.  In the absence of Teen Mom, however, this show will serve me well.  It's just horrible enough and entertaining enough to make an hour of ellipting go by in a flash.

What are you watching?  Is there anything out there that we should be watching but aren't?

Amazing Race Watermelon Face Smash

Ouch!



If you have a case of the Mondays, just watch this video and be happy that, more than likely, a watermelon won't smash you in the face today.  (If you're at work, watch it on mute.  The volume isn't really necessary.)

 Anyway, there's a dearth of cool teams on this season of the Amazing Race.  Matt and I did what we always do with competitive reality TV shows, and each picked two teams after the introductions.  I have the cool girl doctors.  There's a 75% chance that they'll win.

And the Princeton A Capella boys (a choice I'm already regretting).  Matt says they're the 'Nard Dawgs.  And, no, the one on the right is not Harry Potter.  If he was Harry Potter, perhaps he'd be able to conjure up some navigation skills.

Matt has Chad and Stephanie (a choice he's already regretting), the newly dating couple who just bought a house together.  He's a former football player and a giant tool, and he's planning on proposing during the race.  She's nicknamed "Tinkerbell," which makes me dislike her.

And the beach volleyball players.  There's not really much to dislike about them.  They're nice and smart enough and competitive without being obnoxious.  If my girl doctors don't take the victory, these girls might.

Do you watch Amazing Race?  Who do you want to win?  Do you want to go play with a watermelon slingshot?

I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie.

Sorry.  Couldn't resist.

Here's why yesterday was awesome.

1. I got to read "The Invalid's Story" with the ninth graders and The Crucible with the eleventh graders.  I really like both of those works, and they're just racy enough to keep the kids interested (dead body smell and dirty Puritan affairs always keep me engaged, too). 
2. I was crazy productive at school, so I get to go into the weekend with nary a care.  (Except for the pile of laundry that's taunting me and the tumbleweeds of Mitch fur that are surrounding me and the nagging knowledge that I've fallen really behind on watching The Real Housewives of D.C.)
3. Our landlord told me to deduct the cost of the kitchen makeover materials from the rent (that was actually a few days back, but I'd forgotten to share it here), so that beautiful and happy kitchen was free!  Horray!
4. I ate a doughnut.  (And not some crappy doughnut, either.  It was from Baker's Pride.  Yeah, Baker's Pride is no Back in the Day Bakery, but they make a hell of a doughnut.)
5. My pants felt a little loose.  (That could be because I haven't washed them, or it could be because I've lost weight.  Who knows.  Eating the doughnut, then, was probably not the best course of action.)
6. I was running errands around school during my planning period (remember, super productive), and my last errand was to pick up a case of paper and carry it back to my classroom.  Now, normally such a task would be a piece of cake for me (I'm freakishly strong), but today it was painful.  It was painful because I injured my pinky toe (big gross blood blister that may or may not have exploded) on a cart at Kroger over the weekend, and today I made a poor footwear choice.  Each little step was excruciating, and here I was walking across our super spread out campus with a 50 lb. box of paper on my shoulder.  After I'd gone only a short distance and managed to get to the front of the school, I saw a Staples delivery guy leaving the school.  Now, I had way too much pride to ask for help, and I had way too much pride yesterday morning to even act like I needed help (you know, by struggling in that girlish way girls do when they want someone to help them or to talk to them).  But the Staples guy, as soon as he realized that it was a full box of paper and not an empty box, insisted on carrying it for me.  I don't really believe in angels, but if angels are real, this guy is one.  I and my toes both thanked him. (Did that just sound like I only have two toes?)  Really, we did.  I wrote to Staples as soon as I recovered from the walk to gush about how kind he was.
7. I haven't been to Target in almost a week.  What's awesome about this is that I've been exercising self-control.  But I think I'll go today.  Self-control is overrated.
8. I had to go downtown after school to get this stupid bar card thing so that I can serve alcohol in the City of Savannah (decidedly NOT awesome), but I did get a parking spot directly in front of the building.  And I didn't even have to parallel park!  (Which I am, by the way, pretty good at doing.  I'm in the 80th percentile of parallel parkers.  It's because I'm good at shapes.)
9. And, finally.  Yesterday was awesome because we ate Boston Butt for dinner.  Mmmmmm.  I adapted the recipe from Cook's Illustrated.  I say "adapted" because I am, apparently, completely incapable of following directions.  Like, when Matt read that it said "be careful not to cut into the meat," he looked over at me only to see me stabbing the whole shoulder with a long knife.  And when it said "cook at 325" I somehow decided that the recipe meant to cook at 300.  So, anyway, this is an "adapted" recipe, not because I'm better or more innovative, but because I don't know how to read.

First, make yourself a rub.  This one was 1/3 cup of kosher salt, 1/3 cup of light brown sugar, some freshly ground pepper, some cumin, oregano, and crushed red pepper.

Next, put your butt on your fanciest plate (I believe that these were 4/$1 at Target a few years back) and rub the rub all over it.

Wrap your butt in saran wrap and put in the refrigerator overnight.

Here's what it'll look like the next day.  Bake on a makeshift baking rack (or a roasting pan if you have one. I don't for some reason, so I improvised with a baking rack in a Pyrex dish.) at 300 for seven hours. In the meantime, take a long nap.

Try to resist picking the delicious meat off before taking the "after" picture.  Clearly, we failed at this step.

Give the big bone to the cutest dog on the planet.**

Talk to him and assuage his fears that neighborhood dogs or other creatures are after his bone.

And then. . .enjoy your tasty sandwich.  We ate ours with some BBQ sauce, but it'd be really good without the sauce, too.

Ingredients

1 big ol' bone-in Boston Butt (a.k.a. pork shoulder)

1/3 cup kosher salt

1/3 cup of light brown sugar

1 tablespoon black pepper

1 teaspoon cumin

1 teaspoon oregano

1 tablespoon crushed red pepper

Directions

Stab the shit out of the meat with a long knife and make little x's with it.  It's fun.

Rub your rub all over the meat.  Wrap it in saran wrap and put it in the refrigerator overnight.

Place the butt in a roasting pan (or Pyrex baking dish with a baking rack inside of it if you're classy) on the bottom rack in the oven and cook at 300 degrees for 6-7 hours--until the meat falls off of the bone when you jab at it with a fork. 

Allow meat to rest for one hour before pulling it.

Whoop, whoop!  It's the weekend, and it's beeeeee-you-teee-ful!  Enjoy it!

**Please don't go all bananas on me about giving the dog a bone (with a knick knack paddy whack?).  I know that Mitch is not going to choke on this bone because I know that he's hardly going to even chew on it.  Mitch is neurotic, and grew up during the Depression, apparently, and only has a bone for about 10 minutes before he buries it in the back yard (or in our bed if the back yard is unavailable).

What We're Watching

Since we're TV junkies, and because we love to share and/or spit out our opinions about anything and everything, I wanted to let you know what we've been watching lately and how we feel about it.

1.  Top Chef Season 8.  This season is set in Washington, D.C., and the contestants seem pretty fun (but maybe not as strong as those in previous seasons).  In keeping with our game of picking our favorites (two guys and one girl each--and we've picked the winner every year since we started our game) during the season premiere, we picked three chefs each to root for.  I can't even remember the names of the contestants we chose right now, but I know who we didn't choose, and that's Angelo.  I'm sure he's good, but he's a tool and a half.  I'd like to see him wear a little less seersucker and a little more humility, and I can't wait to see him crash and burn during the team challenges.  ("Crashed and burned, eh, Mav?"  "Slider. . ." [sniff, sniff] ". . .You stink."  Oh, Top Gun, how I love thee.)

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2.  Breaking Bad.  Technically we're not watching this currently because the season finale was last week, but I feel like I should take every opportunity that I can to shout from the rooftops about how everyone and their mom should be watching this show (unless your mom doesn't like drug dealers and brutal violence).  You can get it on Netflix and catch up on AMC during the summer, bitch.

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3.  True Blood.  Vampire porn just gets more and more fun, doesn't it?  And this season boasts a lot more pups, which means that Mitch is more into the show than he was before.  Is it just me, or is Eric getting sexier by the episode?

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4.  Friday Night Lights.  Eric the Vampire may be getting sexier, but he's got nothing on Coach Eric Taylor or Tim Riggins.  (Or on Tammy or Black Tyra, if you're reading this and aren't as into the sexy men.)  The show seems to be getting a little more raw, and I still haven't made it through an episode without crying.  Also, a short scene where Matt and Julie play Scrabble has helped my phone Scrabble scores tremendously; za is a word.  Thanks, Matt Sarasen!

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Are we missing out on anything great?

Such As. . .Oops!

Matt: [reading the previous post] Hey, Dummy, you didn't even get your teams right. You have father/daughter team, and triathalon Grandma is your backup.

He's right. I hate it when he's right. . .such as. . .well. . .like. . .such as. . .maps?

Does this make me just as dumb as the former Miss Teen South Carolina?

Um. . .Amazing Race. . .Such As. . .

Horray for a new season of The Amazing Race, and horray for picking teams! It should be said that this season's field is looking pretty weak.

This season Matt decided to change his strategy. Normally, he goes for those teams with intellectual prowess. But this year he went with the models and the cowboys.

The models, Brent and Caite, are going to be a lot of fun to watch, if only because of how much smarter I'll feel after watching them bumble about the world.

Does Caite look familiar to you? She's a former Miss Teen South Carolina . . .

. . .THIS former Miss Teen South Carolina. And Matt picked them. Says Matt: "Models get what they want, 'cause they're sooooo pretty."



And in keeping with his "let's not go for brains" strategy, he also selected Jet and Cord, rodeo brothers. I have a feeling that they will be rivaling Brent and Caite for the title of dumbest team this season.

I, on the other hand, selected some badass teams. I have triathlete Grandma Jody and Granddaughter Shannon, a.k.a., badasses.
And I got the brothers, Jordan and Dan, one gay and one straight. Catty and smart and hilarious.
Are you watching The Amazing Race this season? Who did you pick to win?

American Idol Hollywood Week!

It doesn't get much better than Hollywood week, and my favorite part of Hollywood week is when the contestants have to work in groups. (For the record, I personally hate working in groups. I'd much rather do things on my own than to have to depend on a bunch of goons.) The group performances are so great because they bring out the absolute worst in people, and it's hilarious to watch. I can't peel my eyes away. The more words that the contestants forget, the more Matt yells at the tv, and the more fun I have during the whole process. It's absolutely delightful.

Right now we have some favorites. Forgive our gross stereotypes and overgeneralizations. It's hard to remember all of the names at this stage in the process. Here they are:

• Brad Pitt looking shirtless guy
• Hot Boston girl (Ashley Rodriguez?)
• Hispanic guy with glasses who sang "Straight Up"
• Big Mike whose wife just had a baby
• Little white boy who was in Team Awesome with Big Mike
• Black chick who was in the group with Hot Boston girl
• Taylor Brady
• Chick who sang "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman" last night

Are you watching this season of AI? If so, who are your favorites?

And for the record, I am pretty happy with Ellen's judging so far. Since Simon is leaving, I want Neil Patrick Harris to replace him, and I want Katy Perry to replace Kara, because I hate Kara.

See Ya!

Wouldn't wanna be ya!

We were full of glee last night when douche bag Mike got the ax. Hip-hip--horray!

What I'm Watching

I really love the beginning of autumn. I love the crisp days and the hearty meals, the thought of wearing sweaters and hats and scarves. But one of the best things about this time of year? A NEW SEASON OF TV!

Here are some quick reviews of five shows that will get me through the school year:

1. The Office. I wasn't thrilled with the whole pregnancy thing, but I have faith that the writers will pull it off with plenty of awkward, I'm-embarrassed-for-them moments. And I'm particularly excited for the upcoming wedding episode. I love me a good tv wedding episode. Don't let me down, Office writers.

PS--The original version of The Office is quite the treat. Ricky Gervais, oh dear God. I'm uncomfortable just thinking about his interpretation of the boss, David Brent. It's like the American Office, only on crack.

2. The Hills. Out with the old and in with the new. Lauren's gone, Kristin has arrived, and all hell is about to break loose. (She's trying to snag Justin Bobby!) My 30-minute elliptical workout flies by when I'm watching--and by watching I mean feeling superior and passing judgment. I think I hate every single person on this show.

3. The City. This show is the tv equivalent of a Little Debbie snack or a Savory Toaster Strudel--so horrible, but absolutely delightful. It actually makes The Hills seem credible. Whitney's vapid New York friends and coworkers (particularly Olivia and Roxy) make Spencer and Heidi look like Gandhi and Bill Gates. Even though I'm a girl whose idea of fashion is a ratty tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops, the artificial glimpse into the fashion world fascinates me. But so do train wrecks.

4. TOP CHEF! What great fun. After a healthy dose of reality tv garbage, it's nice to watch a show where the contestants actually have talent. And this season may be the best yet. It's Vegas, Baby, and the stakes are higher.

Matt and I actually play a game when we watch quality reality television. During the season premiere we pick contestants to root for. Matt has bearded Kevin, weird Ashley who looks like a boy, and Mike, the younger Voltaggio brother. Team Mandy is Jenn the super bitch who is awesome and just might win, Bryan the older Voltaggio brother, and kerchief-wearing Mattin, who has already been eliminated. Dammit! He had a kerchief! I thought for sure he'd be in the final three!

5. The Amazing Race. This show is actually the best reality show on tv, and we pick teams for this one, too. I have done pretty well with picking teams in life; I've thrice picked the winners. THRICE! Matt has the Harlem Globetrotters (and I'm so jealous) and the good-looking blonde soccer-playing couple. I have Justin and Zev (Matt's so jealous) and the older couple who met on the internet. I always pick the older couples.

What are you watching this time of year? Any suggestions?