15 Minutes of Fame

Work today kind of made me want to beat my head against a brick wall.  It's as though my students were doing everything in their power to knock me off of the pro-baby wagon, and I was tired, and since it's the end of the quarter, I had approximately one bajillion things to do.

UGH!

So, imagine just how incredibly super and awesome it was when I came home and saw this.

Basically, Pioneer Woman wants to be me.*

And last week little ol' M Cubed was featured in The Kitchn for Fossil Cookies.  Hell yeah! 

Can I please just quit my job and make cookies and ice cream and take pictures and write about them and have that be my new job?**

* Except that she probably doesn't.

**Jokes.  I do not want to quit my job, especially since with each passing year, the "wanting to beat my head against a brick wall" days are fewer and farther between.

A Remedy for Anger

Oh, what to do after an EXTREMELY frustrating and infuriating, hands-shaking-because-you're-so-mad day of work?

1.  Celebrate the fact that there are only five--yes, FIVE--more days of school until students leave.
2.  Channel that anger into vacuuming energy.
3.  Channel that anger into "cleaning the kitchen after the disastrous attempt at making Pioneer Woman's Tequila Lime Chicken" energy.  I don't know if it was the uber cheap tequila or if I'm pregnant with more Mitches (not pregnant, don't worry, universe), but as soon as I whipped the marinade together--and in the process shot rank green shit all over my kitchen--I was gagging.  Weird, huh?  I mean, it's basically a chicken marinated in a margarita.  What's not to love?  One of you should make it with good tequila and let me know how it is.  I'm  not allowed to keep good tequila in the house because I might repeat the night of thirteen limes.  More on that later.
4.  Wait until seven p.m. to drink that first glass of wine. 
5.  Wait until seven fifteen p.m. to drink that second glass of wine.
6.  Sit back, relax, watch Friday Night Lights, and revel in the fact that although I may have a suckfest of a work day here and there, at least I get to come home to these guys.

8.  Wait until seven forty-five p.m. to have that third glass.

How do you alleviate stress?

I'll Pineapple Matt.

Okay, so Matt and I are about a month shy of our third wedding anniversary.  Last year I shared stories about our wedding, and this year I've planned to share stories about our honeymoon.  We went to Tulum, Mexico (after receiving rave reviews from friends), and it was the best trip that either of us had ever taken.  But more on that later.  Wait.  I'll give you a preview.  At one point, Matt found himself in the strong embrace of a barfly named Sergio, a man who was, according to our 17-year old margarita magician of a bartender, Gilarberto--a clown.  "Sergio is a clown," Gilarberto told us, after Sergio asked Matt over for a hug (hug, picture. . .what's the difference?)

Why was I talking about this?  I get so distracted by this picture.

Oh yeah!

So, one of our very favorite meals while we were in Mexico was this pork taco and pineapple thing.  It was one of those meals where we were the perfect amount of drunk, the amount of drunk where your ability to enjoy food increases by 2,000,000%.  And we ate the tacos, and they were amazing.  I do not have the recipe for those tacos, sadly enough.

But when I saw Pioneer Woman's post today about chicken pineapple quesadillas, I thought of that meal.

When I suggested it to Matt tonight, he did that shrug thing that makes me want to choke him.  He's not wild about pineapple.

"But what about that meal we had in Mexico?  Our favorite meal of our honeymoon?  Those were pork tacos with PINEAPPLE!" 

It was about then that Matt explained to me that he didn't like pineapple then either, and that I had taken all of his pineapple and eaten it.  This should surprise nobody.

I didn't remember this part of our heavenly pork taco experience, because Gilarberto was a margarita magician, and I was drunk.

Fortunately, Matt is understanding, and when I insisted on making this meal, he grilled me up some pineapple.  He grilled me up some chicken.  He even grilled me up some onions.  And we had quesadillas. 

And you should have them, too.  Because they're f'ing amazing.

PS--learned the trick to BBQ chicken.  You have to put cajun seasoning on it first.  Then it's just. . .perfect.

PPS--just in case you thought I'd bought a new fancy camera and become a great photographer overnight, you can put those ideas aside.  I stole all the food pictures from Pioneer Woman herself.  The picture of Matt with Sergio the Clown, however, was all mine.  Little pink camera didn't let me down!

Monday Already?

Why is it that Mondays and Tuesdays never seem to jet by the way that Saturdays and Sundays do?

Hope your weekend was great. Ours was relaxing and delicious. We ate bolognese Friday (and Saturday, and Sunday) and fajitas, both of which I'd highly recommend. And, somehow, neither are all that bad for you, which is nice.

Here are some random musings to take your mind off of actual important things:

1. Pioneer Woman's Dog Photos contest. You can either check out the Flickr page and thumb through 35,o00 pictures, or look at her selections. Here are just a few to wet your nose.

The pictures are gorgeous and capture everything that's wonderful about dogs. (They also make me want to pull out every dime we have in savings and blow it all on a new camera and some photo skills.) I guess it's time for me to implant more puppy embryos into my uterus. Maybe I can just sell my story, "THE WOMAN WHO BIRTHED PUPPIES," to the media, and then use that money to buy a new camera.

2. I love love love the fat rubber bands that come on broccoli. They're the BEST for holding together stacks of index cards. Nothing's more annoying than a crappy rubber band.

3. The Olympics and, more specifically, hockey. I'm not really into sports or the Olympics or anything, but Jordan and I did watch D2: The Mighty Ducks about one thousand times during the 1990's. We basically alternated between that and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. Oh, the good old days before Netflix and the internet and OnDemand. Anyway, all of my hockey-related knowledge comes from D2, so today while Matt watched the USA v. Canada, I lounged on the couch playing solitaire on my phone and yelling at the tv: "DO THE FLYING V! YOU'VE GOTTA DO THE FLYING V!" And then Matt said that the Flying V was stupid, and then I divorced him. Yeah, who knows more about hockey? Matt? Or Emilio Estevez? The Ducks did win the Junior Olympics, after all. Stupid Matt.

4. Matt's Amazing Race cowboy team is growing on me, but it does seem like the game is fixed. Make it a little more obvious that you want Jet and Cord to win, why don't you, Amazing Race Producers? A lasso throwing Road Block? Come on!

5. I've been on a healthy eating/exercising regularly kick lately. I've been using Daily Plate to monitor calorie intake, and ellipting regularly. I love it for many reasons (the sleep, the feeling good, having more energy, remembering that I actually do like healthy food, finding my self control again), but I can't stop fantasizing about baked goods. Last week I was so haunted by the Girl Scout Samoas in the refrigerator that I finally just succumbed, shoving ten cookies in my mouth. And I've spent more time thinking about how to make the perfect Trix cereal cupcake than I've spent thinking about anything else in my life. Pathetic. How much is liposuction?

6. Undercover Celebrity Boss. Thanks, SNL. I especially like Martha Stewart.

Pioneer Matt

Matt cooked a super tasty (and spicy!) dinner last night: Pioneer Woman's Cajun Chicken Pasta.

I would have taken pictures and documented the process, but there's no need, because Pioneer Woman already did it--way better than I would ever be able to.

Cheap, delicious, and easy. Just like your mom.

Sorry, that was juvenile, but not juvenile enough for me to delete it.

Following Directions

What is wrong with this picture?

If you said, "there's dessert left on the plate" you're correct.

Tonight Cassie came over for dinner, and since her birthday was last week and we couldn't be with her since she moved to a land far far away, I thought we'd do a small birthday celebration tonight. So I decided to try out a recipe I've been eyeballing, Pioneer Woman's Molten Chocolate Cake. Mmmmmm, chocolate and molten and Cool Whip? How could it go wrong?

Plus, look at Pioneer Woman's gorgeous picture of the finished product. (I love me a good picture of food.)

And, to be fair, mine didn't look that much different. They looked nice, they smelled nice. But their flavor was just blah. They were sweet, sure. But they weren't terribly chocolately, and if I'm making a dessert named "MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE" I want it to be chocolatey. I was sorely disappointed. So was Cassie. We didn't even eat all of them, that's how mediocre they were. "What a sham that Pioneer Woman is!" I thought to myself.

Of course, there's a catch. Here I am, talking shit about Pioneer Woman's recipes when the real problem is me and my ability to follow directions. (It drives Matt crazy. Granted, Matt is a man who measures the water and uses a timer when he makes ramen noodles. He hates my refusal to follow directions and my constant insistance that "It's fine.") My printed out recipe called for "4 pieces (squares) semi-sweet baking chocolate." Somehow I interpreted that as two squares, which was 4 pieces of baking chocolate that were rectangular. How did I get through high school? I got an A in geometry! (And if we're keeping score, this is the second Pioneer Woman food-making endeavor that has gone awry because of my lack of intelligence.)

I didn't realize my mistake until I was writing this post, when I deemed it necessary to double check to make sure that the mistake was on Pioneer Woman's end and not mine. I actually re-read the recipe (something I should have done in the first place). I had put in only half of the chocolate. I suppose it's only natural, then, that my cakes wouldn't have been chocolately enough. Hmph.

Of course. Of course. What is wrong with me? Why don't I understand basic shapes or instructions? I shouldn't be allowed to teach human children, or animal children for that matter.

Oh well.

Moving on, I have noticed that too many of my recent posts have been negative in nature, so I want to add that I decided on some shoes and ordered them (only $21!) and they came today. They're gorgeous and as comfortable as heels are going to be. Now I'm not dreading the fast-approaching school year as much because I know I'll be wearing these beauties.

I'm even considering ordering them in red, for test days or other days that I want to channel the Wicked Witch of the East.

I will think twice, though, before publicly mocking students for failure to follow directions, even if I'm wearing the red shoes.