Video Therapy

The days leading up to Christmas break can be a little wild, and sometimes I begin to wonder about the direction my life has taken, you know, when I utter sentences like, "Stop hitting him with that Slim Jim" or when I have to insist that there was nothing racial in my request that a student put away his box of Chicken in a Biscuit* crackers. This break is going to be much-deserved, methinks.

And since my brain has pretty much been fried, and I've spent much of the last few weeks being pissed off or frustrated (But not this week. This week is going swimmingly. Don't mess with me, universe!), I've resorted to a few little comfort tactics to keep myself sane. One of these tactics involves food (I know you're really surprised about that), but since I saw that I'd put on five pounds last month**, I'm working to scale that strategy back.

One of my other favorite tactics is great because it makes me smile without taking up too much time. I like to watch favorite scenes from movies and tv shows or music videos. They provide a little pick-me-up (since margaritas are out for the time being) and lighten my mood. And I wanted to share some of these scenes with you. So, without further ado, here they are.

1. Love Actually cute guy with signs. This is how Matt and I ended up getting together. Except not. But for now, let's just pretend. (And while you're at it, go watch Hugh Grant dancing, too.)



2. Buddy the Elf. Pretty much all of Elf is my favorite, but I'm only putting this one because I love the song so much.



3. The final scene from Dirty Dancing. I particularly enjoy the part where Johnny squints his eyes and mouths the words "And I owe it all to you" to Baby.  I also really love when he jumps off the stage in the most manly of ways.

4. C-Lo Green's "Fuck You." Why is it that I'm so unhip that I didn't know about this song until Tanya put it on a car CD that I demanded she burn for me? And why did it take me listening to the song approximately 30 times before I realized what he was saying? Grandma, you might even like this one. It's awfully catchy.



5. The final scene from Slumdog Millionaire. One of my students asked me the other day if I was going to name the baby Jamal, and I actually considered it, you know, with the hope that our spawn would be as sweet and delightful as Jamal from the movie.

6. Cool Hand Luke eats 50 eggs. This is kind of gross, but mostly just awesome.

7.  Wet Hot American Summer's big secret pizza party.  Always made me want to be a camp counselor and wear cutoff jean shorts.




8.  Don Draper says "What?"  So much handsome I can hardly stand it.



9. Run Forrest, Run.  Love that kid's face.



10. All things Coach Taylor.  I want to see him in a handsome-off with Don Draper.



11. Top Gun. I almost put the volleyball scene here, but this one's better. That's right. I am dangerous.



Those are just a few of my favorites.  What am I missing?



*Those crackers are so disgusting and so delicious at the same time. I should have confiscated them!


**Upon reflection, I've realized that I really did spend the entire month being cocky and gluttonous, and it turns out that it wasn't consequence-free. Who knew? PLUS, I was wearing shoes instead of flip-flops, and when I went home and weighed them on my food scale, they weighed over a pound! So I only gained 4 lbs. Plus, I'm sure the baby has gained like three pounds in the last month, so I only gained one pound. Plus, I'm pretty sure it was a full moon and there was more of a gravitational pull, so that would account for another 2. So, really, I lost a pound. Right? Right? It's amazing that I was able to eat so much last month and still lose a pound.

Weekend Fun!

What a lovely weekend it's been!

This weekend:

• We basically became BFFs with our favorite high school quarterback/artist/jungle doctor.
• We stayed up until 5:00 a.m. chatting away about anything and everything.
• I fixed the dishwasher.  (Fingers crossed!)
• I wore both of my new Old Navy Prep Coats (not at the same time) because it finally got cold outside.
• We snuggled with the cutest dog on the planet.
• I made two kinds of delicious ice cream. 
• I watched two episodes of the new season of 16 and Pregnant and yelled at the tv.
• We made bolognese.
• I met the lady across the street.  I'd been meaning to introduce myself for a few months, but couldn't figure out a way to do it that didn't seem creepy. 
• I went to Cupcake Happy Hour at Back in the Day Bakery.  Okay, so Cupcake Happy Hour was insanely fun, even more fun than I thought it would be.  First, I got to hang out with my good teacher friend.  Second, Back in the Day was serving pizza, which was basically the greatest thing I had ever seen or tasted (hyperbolic, sure, but also true).  Third, our friends Brian and Ann joined us (a.k.a., "parents of the two (but soon-to-be-three) cutest girls on the planet"), along with Iris and Opal.  Oh yeah, and there was bingo.  And Iris won the bingo.  And I might have been more excited about the bingo victory than anyone else at the table.  I also might have scared Iris with my excitement.  Oh well.

Anyway, it's time to watch Boardwalk Empire before bed.  We're so addicted to that show!

There's No F'ing Jello in the Jungle!

I mentioned before that Matt (Felds) and I were going to be attending the showing of The River Why as part of the Savannah Film Festival.  (Again, many thanks to Cris for giving us her tickets.)  All week I'd been hearing about the different celebrities who were in town for the festival, so in the back of my mind I had this secret wish that Matt Saracen (whose real name is Zach Gilford, but I will forever know him as Matt Saracen and I don't care how obnoxious that is) would be there for this movie.  But I didn't even mention that secret wish because I'm weirdly stupidly superstitious and didn't want to jinx it. 

So on Friday night we headed downtown to the Trustees Theater and found our seats.  I had to go to the bathroom (maybe I'd had 6 Diet Cokes at dinner?) and while I was waiting in line one of the other women was talking about how she and her husband had just seen Matt Saracen on the street. (!!!!!!) So I began to freak out.  When I returned to our seat, I was giddy, and told my Matt, "Guess who's here!!??!!"  My Matt seemed interested, but not crazy like me, and then sent me back out to the lobby to get us something to drink.  (In his defense, he would have gotten it himself, but I was already up.)  So I returned to the lobby to get our drink, and the line took FOREVER.  When I got back to the theater, the credits for The River Why had started.  I sat down, and my Matt timidly told me while I'd been waiting in line Matt Saracen had come out to introduce the film.  "But he's coming back out for a Q&A after the movie!," he made sure to add, perhaps fearing that I would never ever let go of the fact that he sent me away and made me miss Matt Saracen.  (Like the time Tanya made me miss meeting Dan from the Miami season of The Real World when we saw him at the Cherry Blossom Festival.  Don't think for a second that I've forgotten about that!)

We watched the movie (that wasn't very good--sorry, Matt Saracen) and then we watched a short, Streetcar, that was very good, and then we got to enjoy Matt Saracen's Q&A for the last thirty or so minutes.  I know that it's not cool to be starstruck or to giggle incessantly when in the presence of a star from one of your favorite shows, but I don't care.  I was so excited to sit there and listen to him talk.  I was even more excited to learn that real-life Matt Saracen is really funny.  Like really funny. 

He mentioned the latest show that's he's working on, Off the Map, which is about doctors in the jungle.  In describing the difficulties of practicing medicine in the jungle, how there are none of the luxuries to which we've all become accostumed, Matt Saracen told the interviewer, "There's no fucking jello in the jungle."

He also assumed a [hilarious] air of authority for the rest of the interview (even though he was clearly uncomfortable being the center of attention), telling us all, "I'm a goddam doctor." 

But my favorite part of the entire interview was when Matt Saracen leaned back in his chair, and with goofy confidence told us, "I won a state championship a couple of years ago--I was the quarterback--and now I'm a plastic surgeon. . .IN THE JUNGLE." 

I may or may not have taken 145 pictures of him.  Here are more than you probably want to see.

Oh, and I should also add that after the Q&A, I--along with about 6 other 30-year old women who are also obsessed with Friday Night Lights--tried to chase him down to befriend him and get our pictures taken with him.  We were, unfortunately, turned around by some SCAD guy who decided that we were not important enough to hang out with someone who had once won a state championship but now practices medicine in the jungle.

BUT, Cris--the baller, the shot caller--Cris was at a party last night with him.  She said that he was making out with some girl (I'm pretty sure that was the girlfriend he'd mentioned the night before--at least I hope it was) and that she got a picture of him dancing. 

I went to sleep consumed with jealousy, but secretly happy that she got to meet him because I'd felt guilty about seeing him with the tickets she'd given us.

Anyway, that was a whole lot of dorky rambling.  It's probably best that I didn't get to meet Matt Saracen.  In the next year I will become cool, and not starstruck, and I will meet him and we will be friends and he will teach me how to play football and how to do nose jobs.

500th Post!

1. Yeah, that's a lot of posts.  As Matt put it, "I don't think I've ever done anything 500 times."  But, what started as a way for me to put pictures on the internet without cluttering other peoples' Facebook feeds has become a fun hobby, and something that's reconnected me with many people from way back when.  So that's good.  Thanks for reading, ya'll.  (Or, "you guys," which I apparently say too much, in a very white girl kind of way.  I get mocked for it at school, but it's all good, you guys.)
2. Me:  I think I want a glass of wine.  And I think I want you to get it for me.  Matt:  You do, huh?  Me: Yes.  Acts of service is my love language.  Matt:  Well, watching people talk about football on tv is my love language.
3. True Blood is fun this season, albeit a little crazy.  On last week's episode, when Bill put the IV in his arm and gave his blood to Sookie, I thought to myself, "Yeah, right.  Like it would happen that easily."  Of course, because the transfer of blood through the IV is what's unbelievable about the show.  And I'm about ready for Sookie to bite it.  Like, die--not chew.
4. I'm a pretty good speller.  So good, in fact, that I went to the county spelling bee twice when I was in middle school.  I do, though, get tripped up and second-guess myself when spelling certain words.  In one of the previous posts I wrote the word unforgivable and I couldn't remember (or didn't know) if I needed to but an e after the v.  So I turned to my trusty online dictionary, Merriam-Webster Online, to check myself.  And, get this, Webster is now trying to sell the dictionary.  They wouldn't tell me the definition unless I paid for the service.  Really, Webster?  Couldn't get by on the ad revenue?  Now I have to buy the new unabridged dictionary?  I'll just work on my spelling, thankyouverymuch.  (Or use one of the other myriad online dictionaries that are available for free.)
5. I wonder if thankyouverymuch is available in the unabridged version of the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary?
6. When I was in Baptist school in the fourth grade, we had to read a biographical story about Noah Webster, and basically about how God wrote the dictionary for him.  Webster was all "Jesus this and Jesus that, and 'Have you found Jesus yet?'"  I didn't know I was supposed to be lookin' for him. 
7. For the last month and a half or so, I have been trudging through some horrible family drama.  I'm trying to decide how much of that stuff I want to share on the internet.  Part of me wants to put it all out there, but another part of me thinks that it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.  Maybe I'll just share it for the book I'll write someday, like Running with Scissors but way more fucked up. 
8. I'm not sure if I was supposed to hate him or not, but I LOVED Mark Ruffalo's character in The Kids Are All Right.  Also, I loved that movie with my whole heart and soul.  Matt and I talked about it in-depth for a very long time, and it took me back to the days early in our relationship, when we were in the same film class.  Only, this time there was nobody claiming that everything had just been a dream or that the characters were just conforming to societal norms.  (Oh, societal norms girl, how I loathed you. . .)
9. We ate Five Guys at 3:00 and I'm not even close to being hungry again.  I guess it wasn't so bad to eat there after all.
10. I am determined to drink a grapefruit margarita before the end of summer. 
11. Watched 12th & Delaware on HBO last night.  Wow.  Kind of makes me want to donate our entire savings account to Planned Parenthood.
Trailer
12. Friday Night Lights season finale was good, I thought.  Matt made a good point, noting that it was the first season finale that didn't have to be a potential series finale.  I don't want to spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen it, but I thought there was a good balance between cliffhanger and conclusion.
13. I get ten free song credits with the Zune pass every month, but I am terrible at exploring new music.  What's your favorite song (either right now or in life)? 

What We're Watching

Since we're TV junkies, and because we love to share and/or spit out our opinions about anything and everything, I wanted to let you know what we've been watching lately and how we feel about it.

1.  Top Chef Season 8.  This season is set in Washington, D.C., and the contestants seem pretty fun (but maybe not as strong as those in previous seasons).  In keeping with our game of picking our favorites (two guys and one girl each--and we've picked the winner every year since we started our game) during the season premiere, we picked three chefs each to root for.  I can't even remember the names of the contestants we chose right now, but I know who we didn't choose, and that's Angelo.  I'm sure he's good, but he's a tool and a half.  I'd like to see him wear a little less seersucker and a little more humility, and I can't wait to see him crash and burn during the team challenges.  ("Crashed and burned, eh, Mav?"  "Slider. . ." [sniff, sniff] ". . .You stink."  Oh, Top Gun, how I love thee.)

[source]

2.  Breaking Bad.  Technically we're not watching this currently because the season finale was last week, but I feel like I should take every opportunity that I can to shout from the rooftops about how everyone and their mom should be watching this show (unless your mom doesn't like drug dealers and brutal violence).  You can get it on Netflix and catch up on AMC during the summer, bitch.

[source]

3.  True Blood.  Vampire porn just gets more and more fun, doesn't it?  And this season boasts a lot more pups, which means that Mitch is more into the show than he was before.  Is it just me, or is Eric getting sexier by the episode?

[source]

4.  Friday Night Lights.  Eric the Vampire may be getting sexier, but he's got nothing on Coach Eric Taylor or Tim Riggins.  (Or on Tammy or Black Tyra, if you're reading this and aren't as into the sexy men.)  The show seems to be getting a little more raw, and I still haven't made it through an episode without crying.  Also, a short scene where Matt and Julie play Scrabble has helped my phone Scrabble scores tremendously; za is a word.  Thanks, Matt Sarasen!

[source]

Are we missing out on anything great?

Whoop! Whoop!

It appears that Mitchell Pancake is just as happy as I am that today was the last day of school. 

Less happy is Reilly, who had to take a bath in the kitchen sink (A bath that was reminiscent of the one I had to give him at Hugh and Cassie's, when both Mitch and Reilly went to the back yard to pee, and Reilly stood directly under Mitch's stream of urine as he himself took a whiz.  It was hilarious and disgusting, and I wish I'd had my camera.). 

And since Reilly seems to be having some dry skin/bald patch issues, and I don't want to send him home to his mother in worse shape than we got him (but we always send him home fatter--Reills loves to lick the Le Creuset after a batch of pot roast), I thought I'd wash him up with my Dove body wash for sensitive skin.  It's been great for me, so why not for him?  (Plus, I got the okay from Reilly's mom.)  The little pup wasn't so appreciative, however.

Mitch was happy that he doesn't fit in the sink.

I'm happy because school is out.  And I remembered that 90210 (the original) airs on Soap Network on afternoons (WTF, Brandon's stalker girl Emily is a freakfest!).  And I took a 4-hour nap.  And then we went to dinner at Blowin' Smoke.  And then we came home and watched Friday Night Lights and I cried, because that's what I do when I watch Friday Night Lights.

And now Mitch is chasing his tail.  I think he's bragging.  "Hey, Reilly.  See my tail?  It's so great.  I mean, I can chase it and bite it and everything.  It's too bad you only have that nub.  Want me to pee on you again?"

And now Mitch is attacking Matt with with elbow kisses.

And now I need to get another glass of wine.

A Remedy for Anger

Oh, what to do after an EXTREMELY frustrating and infuriating, hands-shaking-because-you're-so-mad day of work?

1.  Celebrate the fact that there are only five--yes, FIVE--more days of school until students leave.
2.  Channel that anger into vacuuming energy.
3.  Channel that anger into "cleaning the kitchen after the disastrous attempt at making Pioneer Woman's Tequila Lime Chicken" energy.  I don't know if it was the uber cheap tequila or if I'm pregnant with more Mitches (not pregnant, don't worry, universe), but as soon as I whipped the marinade together--and in the process shot rank green shit all over my kitchen--I was gagging.  Weird, huh?  I mean, it's basically a chicken marinated in a margarita.  What's not to love?  One of you should make it with good tequila and let me know how it is.  I'm  not allowed to keep good tequila in the house because I might repeat the night of thirteen limes.  More on that later.
4.  Wait until seven p.m. to drink that first glass of wine. 
5.  Wait until seven fifteen p.m. to drink that second glass of wine.
6.  Sit back, relax, watch Friday Night Lights, and revel in the fact that although I may have a suckfest of a work day here and there, at least I get to come home to these guys.

8.  Wait until seven forty-five p.m. to have that third glass.

How do you alleviate stress?

Victory!

You're going to have to forgive me while I gloat.

First, you should know that we own a Zune. Two years ago, I got a bug up my ass that I needed a good mp3 player, and on the day after Christmas I headed to Target, armed with gift cards, ready to buy a nano. But, because it was the day after Christmas, Target was completely sold out of ipods. But they weren't sold out of Zunes. I had been intrigued by the Zune when doing my research, especially because of its FM radio feature (I'm an NPR addict), so I decided that it was a sign. Also, I'm impatient, and my haste sometimes leads me to bad decisions.

But the Zune has treated us pretty well. I especially love the Zune pass (unlimited free "leased" downloads for $15/month, plus 10 song credits that I own forever each month), because it has allowed me to explore different types of music and to set up a playlist for each of my classes at school. My point is, there are some good things about the Zune.

But there are some shitty things, too. The worst thing about the Zune is the software. It fucks up all the time, and can drive a person to insanity. I didn't really think much of those Mac v. PC commercials until I experienced the 1,000,000 glitches with the Zune software.

So it was no real surprise when, about a week ago, Matt downloaded the latest Norton software, and, GASP!, the Zune would no longer sync when we plugged it in. Matt was so frustrated. (He is an entertainment addict, and if he's not talking to me or watching tv or reading a book or browsing the interwebs, he's listening to one of his 1500 podcasts. He even listens to them in the bathroom. I call them poopcasts.) Without his entertainment, he wandered about the house like a lost puppy. How would he find entertainment to help him through household chores? Who would entertain him when he played online poker? Oh dear!

So Matt worked for several days to fix the problem, but was unsuccessful.

And then, while he was busy talking to his buddy Drew on the phone and watching the Senate get 60 votes for cloture (horray!), I worked diligently on our little Zune problem (for about 40 minutes).

And would you look at that?

See how it says "syncing"?

(Oh, and if you're thinking it already, I'll confirm it. I have the worst taste in music ever.)

See how that little Zune icon is red? (Red = syncing.)

You know what that means, don't you?

It means that I am a badass.

I spent the next 20 minutes or so prancing about the house, raising my arms and trying to emulate Tammy Taylor's dance from the intro to Friday Night Lights. Matt is happy to have his podcasts back, but angry that it was me who gets to claim the victory over Microsoft.

I'll be gloating about this for approximately 180 days. That's an appropriate amount of time, right?

This and That

A few things to get you through your Monday. (Mondays are my worst days; I have school and then a class--a dreadful class that sucks my soul from my body--and I don't get home until around 7:00. Boo hiss. The up side is that Matt usually has dinner ready for me when I return home, just like a 1950's housewife.)

• First, if you feel like you just can't find the perfect gift for that special someone, try the above rug. It's only 1K, and if you really want, you can have it autographed by Sarah Palin. (Okay, so that last part's a lie, and no polar bears died for the sake of this rug. It's from Etsy, and you can buy it here.)
• Speaking of Etsy, Matt ordered my "Bad Dingo" tote bag just in time. He got the very last one! I am REALLY excited about walking around carrying the bag. When he emailed the seller, he explained to her that our dogson is an American Dingo and had a tag that said that he's a baby eater. (We got him a different tag when he got bigger and more fierce looking. Now it calls him a professional snuggler.)
• Speaking of Matt, he is currently watching football and yelling and clapping. Mitch is lying by my feet under the desk, terrified of his manic father and loud noises.
• Speaking of football, did you see that Smash Williams won the Heisman? I saw that, and I even got to throw out some fake football knowledge during the show, all stuff I've heard Matt say. "You know, Tebow's game won't really transfer to the pros. He plays much more of a running game and he's not as accurate at passing. . .It's basically the difference between Matt Saracen and J.D. McCoy." Everything I know about football I know from listening to Matt talk to his friends and watching Friday Night Lights.
• Speaking of awesome television, 60 Minutes had both Obam' and Ricky Gervais on tonight. It warmed my soul. I think that Ricky Gervais is perhaps the funniest person alive today.
• Speaking of funny, isn't it weird that I've had two cute kid posts lately? Fear not--I do not have Baby Rabies (thanks for the term, Carly!). That shan't happen anytime soon, or ever.
• But speaking of things that shall happen soon, I've only got five glorious days of school until Mitchmas break. Friday the Savannah family is coming for Mitchmas dinner, and my friend Maureen and her husband are coming for New Year's. She's a vegetarian. Any good vegetarian recipes you'd like to share?
• Speaking of food, I feel like I eat enough on a daily basis to feed a small country, or at least an elementary school. It's disgusting and terrible, yet I won't stop. Matt's going to have to knock out walls in our house and invest in a horse trailer just to get me out of the house.

Happy Monday to you! Anything fun happening? What are your plans for Mitchmas?

Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Week

This has been a terrible horrible no good very bad week. It's just sucked. I've been swamped at work, swamped at home, tired, grumpy, and intolerant. Listening to 14-year olds whine for hours and hours hasn't helped, and neither has my never-ending mountain of laundry that, for some reason, refuses to fold itself and put itself away.

What really sucks is that I'm actually having a better week than some of my friends, and I'm being a big whiny baby about mine.

The sulking needs to stop, and I need to crawl out of my grump slump. But how?

It starts with a glass of wine, continues with a good cry and venting on paper (I wrote a two-page list of things I hate), then another glass of wine, then an episode of Friday Night Lights, then a delicious dinner of fajitas! with Matt. That was last night. Today I bribed myself (I allowed myself $30 in unnecessary purchases from Target) so that I would be productive, took the pup for a walk on a gorgeous day, and laid in the grass at the park.

How can I ever be a grump when I look at this face every day?

So many smells!

And never underestimate the effectiveness of retail therapy. I bought these pajama pants at Target. (Don't tell Matt; I already own approximately 894 pairs of pajama pants.)

And I made these cookies that I've been dreaming of since the weekend (thanks, Carly).

Tomorrow's Friday, and I'll be happy to bid farewell to this shitfest of a week. Goodbye, shitfest week. And leave me alone! I've got cookies, new pajamas, and a snugglin' dog. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, week of October 5-9!

Hello, October!

A few fun facts:

• I moved to Savannah six years ago today. Never did I imagine that I would be here this long.
• In case you were wondering, you can totally connect Edward Scissorhands to The Crucible. It's a bit of a stretch, yes, but it's lovely. (My Johnny Depp-obsessed sister thinks that he looks hot in Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Our Johnny Depp-obsessed cousin thinks he looks hot in Edward Scissorhands. I prefer Johnny Depp the pirate. Aargh!)
• Friday Night Lights is one of the best things ever. We watched four episodes just last night. Seasons one and two are only $15 each at Target. Go buy them now. It's okay, I'll wait. . .
• With October comes one of my favorite seasonal treats, Jones's Lemon Drop Dead soda. Mmmmmmmmmmm. . .it's like drinking a lemonhead! And I love lemonheads.

Should I or should I not celebrate today's Savanniversary by adding some booze to this tasty soda? Methinks I should, but maybe tomorrow when it's not a school night. Nobody likes a teacher with a hangover.

Update

My apologies for the lack of posting this week. This is my last week before I must return to school, so I'm trying to enjoy my freedom, soaking up the last moments of August. But, in bullets, here is what we have been up to:

• Sleeping. We have been spending extraordinary amounts of time sleeping, even for us. We're not sick of sleep-deprived or anything--just lazy and big fans of long naps.
• Eating. We had Fresh Market steaks twice in a week.
• Dreaming. Actually, nightmaring. About an hour ago I was having a dream that a scary clown that I had openly mocked robbed a bank I was in, and then I had to escape with Ken Jennings from Jeopardy!.
• Snuggling. Unsurprisingly, Mitch remains the cutest dog on the planet.
• Watching TV. We're currently obsessed with Top Chef, Friday Night Lights, season 3 of Dexter, and True Blood.
• Eating. We're fat.
• Working. Booo. Where's my winning lottery ticket?
• Debating. Can Matt and Mandy be happy with parenthood if we have just one child?
• Decorating. I'm trying to make our office look like something that would not be a part of the set of The Wonder Years.
• Hosting. Matt's good friend came to visit this week. The visit was short, but very fun.
• Drinking. Too much.
• Nursing. Hangovers. PS--the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich has become my hangover cure!

I may elaborate on some of these in the future. Have a happy Friday and a great weekend!