I Forked Up.

Oh man, I'm sorry we haven't been blogging too much.  I'm sure that your life has felt empty and sad without your [almost] daily dose of M Cubed.  Sorry about that.

The good news is that I have lots of stuff to share with you in the coming weeks.  The bad news is that I don't feel like doing it right now.  But while Matt and his mom read their books and I watch some HGTV while breathing in fresh lake air (which is known to have healing properties), I need to share something with you right quick.

First you need to know that Matt's mom's best friend Kim (mother of Audrey) loaded me up with lots of exciting gifts a few days ago.  One of the things was a lot of fancypants silver.  You know, like the kind of silver where there is a separate fork for everything (a.k.a., silver that I love but don't really understand), the kind where you hold your pinky finger out while using each individual piece.*

And one of the pieces is this, the shrimp fork (or at least that's what I'm told).

And I love love LOVE this fork.

But there's a slight problem.  I hate hate HATE shrimp.

So I've been trying to think of ways to use my fork without having to eat shrimp or reveal to the rest of the world that I completely lack sophistication.

Head scratcher?  Kid stabber?  Gardening tool?  Hmmmmmmm.  Nah.

Oh, wait!  I've got it!

Hair holder-upper/self-defense device.

This way, I still don't have to eat any shrimp.  And, no, it's not going to trick people into believing that I am sophisticated, but I wasn't going to have much luck in that department anyhow.

But it doesn't matter.

Because I'll tell you one thing right now: should an attacker try to attack me, he (or she, I suppose) better get used to the feeling of a shrimp fork in the eye.


*Also the kind of silver that reminds Matt of royalty, which then gets him talking about the royal wedding.  He's all, "it's magical" this and "a real-life fairytale" that.  

This and That

 I love the week between Christmas and New Year's.  I love it even more when I don't have to work.  Horray for holidays!  Here are some random musings to get you through the next few minutes, or to keep you from checking Facebook compulsively.  Be forewarned, though: you may be dumber after having read it.

1.  All I can think about lately is ice cream and waffle cones.  Yesterday I bought David Lebovitz's The Perfect Scoop, and I couldn't be more excited about learning all of the new recipes.  That man's an ice cream genius!

  

2.  Saw True Grit on Christmas and The King's Speech yesterday.  Both are wonderful, perfect films that I plan to watch dozens more times.  Why are the Coen brothers so good?  And why is Colin Firth so self-depricatingly dreamy? 

3.  Yesterday we went to the mall and were afraid to get out of the car because there were a bunch of birds with really sharp beaks who seemed just a little too comfortable with the idea of killing after-Christmas shoppers.

4.  If you haven't made Hugh and Cassie's David Chang brussels sprouts, you need to. 

5.  How cute is Opal?

6.   I know everyone else in the world is dealing with blizzards and all, so this probably isn't as exciting to you--but on the day after Christmas it was snowing in Savannah (you have to say that the way Michael Scott said "There's been a murder in Savannah" on The Office).  It wasn't accumulating or sticking even, but it was snow, and it was beautiful, and it felt Christmasy.

7.  Mitch has taken to sitting in Matt's recliner.  It's never not funny.

8.  And, finally, this has been my official uniform of Christmas Break 2010.  It's basically a "homeless Punky Brewster" look. When I have to go out of the house, sometimes I put on actual shoes.  But I've not removed that hoodie from my body in over eight days.  Fancy, huh?

Happy Tuesday to you!  Hope you're enjoying your week!

I'm Now a Hipster.

You know what's awesome?  When your friend's feet grow as a result of being pregnant with her third baby.  Well, that's not awesome for her.*  But it is awesome for you when that friend used to wear the same size shoe that you do, and when she then passes funky fresh footwear your way.

 Meet my new New Balances.  (Seriously, I've been in love with the way New Balance shoes look since my freshman year of college, when they had those gray/navy shoes with the yellow N on them.  Becky had a pair and I had serious shoe envy, until I tried them on and realized that New Balance shoes didn't fit my feet right.  I have high-arched, toes-spread-out feet that prefer Nike.  And Nike shoes are not nearly as pretty to me as New Balances.**) 

I'm in love with them, and they're super comfortable, too!

Now I'm going to go start my own farm and listen to funky music and wear skinny jeans and ditch my car for a bike or roller skates or something.

*But what is awesome for her is that now she has an excuse to go buy more shoes.

**Or, as Matt explains, "quite the tale of woe."***

***This, coming from someone who claims to have had a traumatic childhood because the Buffalo Bills lost all of those Super Bowls in a row.

Unforgivable Sin

I'll probably offend someone out there with this, but it's just got to be said.  No self-respecting adult should wear clothing featuring Disney characters.  I know there are people out there who are all ga-ga for Disney and such, and sure, it can be a super fun place to visit.  But if you are old enough to buy a lottery ticket, then you are too old to wear clothing with Disney characters on it.  (And if you're wearing something with Winnie the Pooh or any of his little woodland friends on it, then you should seriously re-evaluate your life.  Either that, or just set yourself on fire.)

So, anyway.  There's that.  It's just one of those little pet peeves of mine.  And while I would be the first to criticize my own fashion sense (or complete lack thereof), and I can admire people who are bold with their own choices, there are just some offenses that I can't forgive.

Well, listen to this.  Last night Matt saw a couple wearing matching tshirts.  Well, not completely matching, because hers was pink and his was blue.  Her shirt featured Minnie Mouse and his featured Mickey Mouse.  And that's not even the most vomit-inducing part.  Their shirts had messages on them.  Hers, "World's Best Mommy-To-Be."  His, "World's Best Daddy-To-Be." 

Seriously.  It's just so bad that I don't even know what to say, except that at least it wasn't Piglet or Kanga and Roo.

I tried and tried, but was unable to find pictures of the shirts on the ol' world wide web.  If you can find one, I will bake you a batch of cupcakes. 

I Am Engorged with Venom.

No, not really.  Although I did go to the Victory Drive Kroger at 8:00 tonight, and if that experience doesn't cause one to hate the world then I don't know what will.  I want to send Jamie Oliver to that store to criticize people for the lack of veg in their carts. 

But back to Glee. 

Was it just us, or were there too many songs in this one?  Geez oh Pete!  There were three full-length songs in the first twenty minutes.  Shooooooooooot.  Matt lamented that perhaps the show was devolving into a musical with just a little bit of plot instead of a dramedy with a little bit of music.  Any thoughts on that?

And what did you think about the girls' dresses in the "Hello, Goodbye" number?

They made me think of these dresses:

And that made me smile, and made me forget all about Kroger.

Flashdance Headbands: Dislike.

New trend that I am hatin' on: Flashdance headbands. I keep seeing girls wearing these headbands, but usually they're some sort of metallic braid-type thing.  What the hell?

Is this everywhere, or just at my school?  I mean, it'd be much cooler if the girls who wear the headbands would also adopt the other awesome fashion trends from the film, and maybe some of the dance moves, too.



Percent chance that Matt and I are both doing that crazy foot thing right now: 100.

Michelle Obama's State of the Union Dress

Michelle Obam' = sassmonster. And tonight, a purple-adorned sassmonster.

I kind of want to be her. I think I'm too mean, though. And lazy.

Oh well. I guess it's time to throw on a purple t-shirt, brush my hair, and practice my First Lady wave.

Fashion for Pups

In addition to the human guests we're hosting this Thanksgiving, we've also got Reilly, Mitch's dog friend. Reilly's become one of the family, and the big dog/little dog dynamic never fails to amuse me.

They're in a snuggling competition. Here they are snuggling on the couch with Grandpa Bruce.

The dogs have developed similar traits, in large part because Reilly emulates Mitch's every move. If Mitch does something, so does Reilly.

Except for one thing, wearing clothes. Matt laid down the law when we got Mitch (and by "when we got him" I mean "when I birthed him") and said that Mitch is not allowed to wear clothes. Really, the rule is that I'm not allowed to torture my big furry dog with unnecessary and silly clothing. It's fair, I guess. I just buy him snazzy collars to keep him fashionable.

But Reilly IS allowed to wear clothes; in fact, when it's cold outside, they may even be necessary. He shivers if he's not wearing them!

So I always buy clothes for Reilly--only the most stylish and trendy pieces, of course. For example, this ugly dog Christmas sweater from the $2.50 bin at Target. Are you kidding me? Ugly sweaters for dog? SCORE!

Also in the $2.50 bin was this little '80s throwback jacket. This one makes him look like he could be a character on Wet Hot American Summer.

But one piece of attire that I didn't get Reilly, but that he showed up to our house wearing, is his Snuggie for dogs. Yay.

We've already discussed the hilarity of the Snuggie/Snuggie for Dogs, so it probably won't surprise you that this picture was on the back of the box.

Reilly sports his Snuggie with pride. He loves the warmth it provides, and he loves to wear it when he's reading (using the bonus book light!). Really, he loves all of his clothes.

And they don't slow him down a bit.

(One of the best things about dogsitting Reilly is watching him and Mitch take turns chasing one another around the back yard.)

Happy Thanksgiving to you! I must go baste!

**Yes, I've read, too, that basting is unnecessary, but I like it, and I just brush butter and spices over the bird. Matt loves what it does to the skin, and would be heartbroken if I did anything differently.

Cupcake Fashion

True or False? I am too old to own and carry this purse.