This and That

1.  Um, how can I not take my furry firstborn to the dog park when he looks at me like this?

2.  Just another sign that Mitch and I are E.T. and Elliot: the other day my feet smelled like Doritos.

3.  I want to eat this.

4.  Six more weeks of being knocked up!  I think the boy might have dropped because now I can breathe again and I don't feel his little feet all jacked up in my ribs.  It's nice to be able to breathe, but a little bit annoying to have to pee every .2 seconds.  Oh well.  Six weeks.

5.  Um, could Matthew Crawley be any more handsome?

6.  Um, could the Domino's parmesan bread bites be any more delicious?  We totes got lured into the parmesan bread bite trap this weekend when we ordered pizza because they were only $1, and I think that now they could charge $55 for them and Mitch and I would pay it.

7.  Furry valentines.  (Matt is bearded now since he's going to be a dad.  Apparently that's what you do.  Also, we can't find the cord to his clippers.)

I'm excited for this weekend because it'll be full of these and her and him and him.  And a three-day weekend to boot!

Notes from Tom

Background information:

1.  I am from Westminster, Maryland, which is about 40 minutes outside Baltimore, and is the town where the Ravens hold their training camp.  People in Westminster are VERY into the Ravens.  Many of these fans go bananas on Facebook griping about Shittsburg and giving the play by play of each game.  It gets pretty annoying.

2.  My brother is one of these fans.

3.  I like to torment my brother.  So does my sister.  We will, on occasion, bomb his Facebook page with tormenting comments, which usually elicit some response from him like, "Well, if it isn't my bitchy sisters."  He especially likes it when we call him Darryl, which is what he was almost named.

4.  I think Tom Brady is handsome.

5.  On Sunday, Jordan's Facebook status read, "Tom Brady's a punk!"  Today, after the Ravens lost to the Patriots, Jordan's Facebook status read, ". . .he's still a punk."

6.  The Super Bowl is on February 5, Jordan's birthday.

This afternoon seemed like the perfect time to bomb ol' Jordan's page again.  We took turns posting some handsome pictures of Mr. Brady to Jordan's page.*

I just love the internet.  Think about how long it would have taken to harass little Jordy-Pooh without the wonders of Google and the book of faces!

*Matt would like me to note that he had no part in this torment.

My Boyfriend Can Sing, Too!

In case you missed it. . .

And he can dance, too! (Well, he can dance better than I can, what with my 5 years spent in Baptist school.)

This and That

Hey there!  Happy 2012, peeps.  I hope your year is starting off swimmingly.  Ours actually is, which is good considering that I spent most of the last two days of 2011 being an emotional, horomonal sissypants.  (My hypothesis is that the boy was going through a massive growth spurt, which made me uncomfortable, gigantic, and brought with it a surge of horomones that left me a sobbing mess.  If you have proof that that's not what happened, then I don't want to hear it because it's the only way I can explain myself without admitting to be a complete psychopath.)

So we've got some catching up to do, don't we?

1.  Mitch is still the cutest dog who's ever lived.  He's been polishing off the last of the homemade dog treats that we made in Virginia for all of his dog friends and cousins, which means that Matt and I have been finding little cheesy flax-seeded biscuits buried in blankets and couch cushions all around the house.  Right now he is barking at sassing me because Matt is watching football and Mitch hates football.  He'd rather go lie in his dirt spot, which is currently a mud spot because it's raining.  Seems fitting, since I just made our bed up with all white linens.

2.  I love this commercial with my entire heart and soul.



3.  I also love these Asian Turkey Meatballs with my entire heart and soul.

4.  Matt is a crazy ellipting fool.  Did you know that?  Did you know that after he implemented a self-improvement plan a year and a half ago he's been the incredible shrinking Matt?  And that every time we see someone we haven't seen in a while they say something along the lines of, "Oh, wow, Matt!   You look great!  What is your secret?  Amazing!  Oh, hi, Mandy."  It's extra fun now, you know, now that he's knocked me up and I'm getting fatter by the second.

5.  Oh em gee!  I totes forgot to tell you that my former almost fiance Matty Fraker who owns the cupcakery in Richmond, Frostings, was on Cupcake Wars tonight.  It replays on Tuesday at 8 p.m., so if you have the chance you should totally watch it.  Shoot yeah, Matty!



6.  Have you watched Downton Abbey?  If you haven't, you totally should.  It's pretty and smart and a little bit soap opera-y but not stupid.  AND, it's on Netflix Instant, so you have no excuse not to watch it.  There are only 7 episodes in the first season (oh, silly British television's short seasons), but season 2 begins again soon.  Plus, it has the handsome Matthew Crowley who is handsome and has a nice accent and looks good in a tuxedo and is also handsome.

7.  Not really doing any New Year's resolutions this year because I'm a little busy gestating a human, and all I really want to do is get through the year without being a psycho.  So that's my resolution: not to be a psycho. Shecky says that saying not to be a psycho is too definite and possibly unattainable, so I should actually make the resolution to be less of a psycho.  Either way.  My goal is for the crazy to be on the decline.  How's about that?

8.  Our New Year's Eve was pretty lame, even by our homebody standards.  Matt had to work, and I was in such a foul mood that I went shopping with a scowl on my face, so I went to Publix and bought a no sugar added reduced fat cheesecake (which was surprisingly good) and some sugar-free Jello (can you tell I have a glucose test fast approaching?).  I ate half of the cheesecake (it was a little one), and still felt like an angry troll, so I decided to take a nap around 9:00, in the hopes that I would wake up a better person.  Surprisingly, it worked.  I woke up when my neighbors started setting off fireworks at midnight, ate a bowl of booze-less Jello, and Matt and I watched Downton Abbey (seriously, go watch it now).  So the 2011 part of New Year's Eve sucked, but the 2012 part was pretty nice.

So that's what's going on here.  Was crazy, am not crazy now, hope not to be crazy in the future.  Dogs are cute and cheesecake is delicious.

How is your 2012 shaping up?

Video Therapy

The days leading up to Christmas break can be a little wild, and sometimes I begin to wonder about the direction my life has taken, you know, when I utter sentences like, "Stop hitting him with that Slim Jim" or when I have to insist that there was nothing racial in my request that a student put away his box of Chicken in a Biscuit* crackers. This break is going to be much-deserved, methinks.

And since my brain has pretty much been fried, and I've spent much of the last few weeks being pissed off or frustrated (But not this week. This week is going swimmingly. Don't mess with me, universe!), I've resorted to a few little comfort tactics to keep myself sane. One of these tactics involves food (I know you're really surprised about that), but since I saw that I'd put on five pounds last month**, I'm working to scale that strategy back.

One of my other favorite tactics is great because it makes me smile without taking up too much time. I like to watch favorite scenes from movies and tv shows or music videos. They provide a little pick-me-up (since margaritas are out for the time being) and lighten my mood. And I wanted to share some of these scenes with you. So, without further ado, here they are.

1. Love Actually cute guy with signs. This is how Matt and I ended up getting together. Except not. But for now, let's just pretend. (And while you're at it, go watch Hugh Grant dancing, too.)



2. Buddy the Elf. Pretty much all of Elf is my favorite, but I'm only putting this one because I love the song so much.



3. The final scene from Dirty Dancing. I particularly enjoy the part where Johnny squints his eyes and mouths the words "And I owe it all to you" to Baby.  I also really love when he jumps off the stage in the most manly of ways.

4. C-Lo Green's "Fuck You." Why is it that I'm so unhip that I didn't know about this song until Tanya put it on a car CD that I demanded she burn for me? And why did it take me listening to the song approximately 30 times before I realized what he was saying? Grandma, you might even like this one. It's awfully catchy.



5. The final scene from Slumdog Millionaire. One of my students asked me the other day if I was going to name the baby Jamal, and I actually considered it, you know, with the hope that our spawn would be as sweet and delightful as Jamal from the movie.

6. Cool Hand Luke eats 50 eggs. This is kind of gross, but mostly just awesome.

7.  Wet Hot American Summer's big secret pizza party.  Always made me want to be a camp counselor and wear cutoff jean shorts.




8.  Don Draper says "What?"  So much handsome I can hardly stand it.



9. Run Forrest, Run.  Love that kid's face.



10. All things Coach Taylor.  I want to see him in a handsome-off with Don Draper.



11. Top Gun. I almost put the volleyball scene here, but this one's better. That's right. I am dangerous.



Those are just a few of my favorites.  What am I missing?



*Those crackers are so disgusting and so delicious at the same time. I should have confiscated them!


**Upon reflection, I've realized that I really did spend the entire month being cocky and gluttonous, and it turns out that it wasn't consequence-free. Who knew? PLUS, I was wearing shoes instead of flip-flops, and when I went home and weighed them on my food scale, they weighed over a pound! So I only gained 4 lbs. Plus, I'm sure the baby has gained like three pounds in the last month, so I only gained one pound. Plus, I'm pretty sure it was a full moon and there was more of a gravitational pull, so that would account for another 2. So, really, I lost a pound. Right? Right? It's amazing that I was able to eat so much last month and still lose a pound.

Banana Puddin' Pops!

Very important facts about The Cosby Show and my own life.

1.  When I was younger, we always had cats.  My parents never bothered to get our boy cats fixed, and they would always run away after like 6 months.  We named every single one of these boy cats Bill, after Bill Cosby.  So we had like 8 consecutive cats named Bill.  My little brother began to believe that every animal was called a Bill, so he'd do things like point at a squirrel outside and yell out, "Bill!  Bill!

2.  I do a really good Bill Cosby face.  Or  not.

3.  Our fake restaurant waiting for a table name is Huxtable.  Totally stole that from Best Friend, and it makes me giggle every time.

4.  When I was in college, I submitted a picture of myself to Nick at Nite to "Be the Bug."  The "bug" is the tiny little logo in the bottom corner of a TV screen.  For about 15 minutes on one glorious June night in 2003, my mug was the bug--and it was during an episode of The Cosby Show.  

5.  One of the reasons that I think Matt and I should have kids is so that we can make them do song and dance routines on the stairs, a la the Huxtable children.

6.  Theo is my favorite Huxtable kid.  Denise is my least favorite.  And "least favorite" is an understatement because I effing hate Denise.

7.  I LOVE PUDDING POPS!

I mean, is there anything better that the frozen silkiness of a pudding pop?  So last week when I knew my bananas were about to become overripe (WTF? Why can't I ever manage to eat all of the bananas before they go bad?), I was inspired--you know, like by a beam of light and angelic voices--to make myself some banana pudding. . .pops!  (Also, I'd bought these awesome popsicle holders in Target's dollar spot a few weeks back.)

There are probably like seven billion different recipes for banana puddin', and I'm waiting until Back in the Day Bakery Cheryl's cookbook comes out before I commit to just one.  When I make banana puddin', all I do is make vanilla pudding and add some sliced bananas and Nilla Wafers.  And I always add about twice as many Nilla Wafers as I'm supposed to because my love for Nilla Wafers is as intense as my hatred for Denise Huxtable.

For these particular pops, I made this vanilla pudding, added the bananas (like 3) and wafers (like 1/4 of a bag or so), and then froze the pudding in the popsicle holders.  Ridiculously simple.  Come over and help me eat them!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch the entire series of The Cosby Show on Netflix instant.  

Weekend Fun

We had a great weekend celebrating the births of Tom Cruise, America, and my favorite Jehovah's Witness crush from long ago.  (Oh, Aaron the surfer. . .)  True to form, we ate too much, drank too much, laughed a lot, played with the dogs, and enjoyed the company of friends.  Lovely, lovely, I tell you.

So here's what our weekend looked like.

I don't even know how it's possible to injure yourself on an elliptical, but I managed it.

Chicken chili from Dinner: A Love Story.  Mmmmmmmmm. 

 Holding hands with my dog child. Are you tired of pictures of my feet yet?

 Thank you, thank you very much.

 Car ride to visit Hugh and Cassie for the day!

The greatest potato skins on earth.

 

 Stand off.

Ribs! (Cassie's "Thanksgiving in July."  Um, okay!)

And ribs again!

 Matt went to the baseball game with friends.  I skipped it, took a nap, and watched fireworks from the couch.

Late night chats.

How did you celebrate the birth of our nation? And how did you celebrate the birth of everyone's favorite former pilot/sports agent/Irish immigrant/underwear dancer?

Week o' Fun!

Here's the thing.  I've spent the last eight days of my life consumed by the living room project.    And because of the living room consumption (not to be confused with the consumption that Satine had in Moulin Rouge.  Oh man, I totally need to watch Moulin Rouge again.*), and because of the probably toxic fumes I've been inhaling for hundreds of hours, I haven't been able to think straight.  And add a little bit o' leprosy to that and you've got a girl who's a sloppy mess.

Shoot.

But the living room's basically done now, and I've got some Benadryl (which makes me sleep like a mofo), and I'm entering that part of summer where I don't even know what day it is (shoot yeah!), so hopefully there'll be some clarity on this end.

In the meantime, here's what this week looked like, the mostly black and white version.  So, this is what this week looked like to Matt, that colorblind fool.**

Trivia night with Matt.   

 Girls' Night.

 Big sister, baby sister.

Sammy Green's delivery.  Savannah people, go there to eat.  It's fantastic! 

 Totally taking Reilly to Chick-Fil-A on Thursday.

Celebrating four years married with French dip sandwiches! 

 Big ol' dog thinks he's a lap dog.  It's okay by me.

Never been so happy for glass. 

Laundry monster.  The rest of the house has gone to hell while I've been slaving away in the living room.

 Little dog got a bath and needed to dry off quickly.

Happy Monday to you!



*Speaking of Moulin Rouge, Martha Stewart now has a line of glitter paint at Home Depot.  I really want it, but am torn because I feel like I'm too old for glitter paint.  Thoughts?


**Matt is about one hundred times smarter than I am, so I like to pretend like his being colorblind means that he's not smart.  It comes in handy during Trivial Pursuit.***


***Also, Matt is so colorblind that he can't even see my leprosy, so that's nice.  It's almost like permanent beer goggles.