Things I Love

Man oh man.  Matt's parents arrived at our house right about the time my head was about to explode, shortly after I'd had a conversation with Shecky about how Charlie was growing so fast so quickly, and who knew that feeding on "your mother's soul" could provide such nutrition?  The last few days have been wonderful, and we've all been spoiled by the doting grandparents who are more than happy (and if they're not, then they're really good at pretending) to hold the boy who decided that he would like to be held 23 1/2 hours every day (he needs 30 minutes a day to hang out with his zebra).

So I'm much happier and content and un-crazy than I was this time last week, and I just wanted to share some things that I'm loving right now.

1.  Sleep.  I've been spoiled the last few nights by my in-laws who have been helping with the aforementioned needy young man.  I've always loved sleep, but now, oh man.  What I wouldn't give for a coma nap right about now.

2.  Girls on HBO.  Omigod.  Watch it now.  Later, after we've seen a few more episodes, we'll all talk about it like we're in film class with pretentious film students or like we're at a book club where people actually read the books and don't just go for the wine (a.k.a., a stupid book club).

3.  Grandparents.  Lifesavers.  For realz.  I'm happy that Charlie's grandparents are here right now, and I'm happy that my grandparents will be here in a few weeks.

4.  Mad Men.  Can't get enough of this handsome fellow.



5.  Crazy Baby Faces.  I told you he was possessed.

I think he looks like Chloe in this picture.

6.  Oreos.  Why are they so good?  And who buys Oreos that aren't double stuffs?  Crazy people?

7.  The cutest guard dog of all time.  Providing protection against the mailman and kids riding down the street on bicycles.

8.  The greatest sister in all the wide world, who turned 16 today!  16!  How did that happen?  I'm so lucky to have a sister who would send me this picture of an awesome bruise with an explanation that started, "Well, I was playing Hunger Games with my friend. . ."

Things Charlie loves right now.

1.  Boobs.  He's quite taken with them.  Apparently, last night Matt's dad introduced the boy to Christina Aguilera and her assets, and our boy wouldn't peel his eyes from the television.

2.  Justin Bieber. I told you that when the boy was all holed up in my uterus that he would go crazy kicking every time Justin Bieber's "Mistletoe" played, right?  Well, now it seems that whenever that little teen cuteness shows up, Charlie is quiet and happy.

3.  Zebra.  The boy lies down on his little mat and smacks at and loves loves loves his zebra.  Just last night, Charlie said to me, "Mother, when I am one can we please go on a safari so that I may see a zebra in the wild?"  He's very advanced. 

4.  Crap that makes noise.  I was all about avoiding any toy that played music or made a bunch of noise, until my boy screamed for the better part of a week.  And then it became Operation: Find Something That Makes the Boy Stop Screaming.  And what does the trick?  Yep, crap that makes noise.  It's fine, though, because there are different tiers of awful noises, and I can take lullabies and fake heartbeat sounds much better than I can take the sound of my kid screaming.  So there's that.  Sure didn't take long to sell out, huh?

Christmas!

Well, you haven't heard about our Christmas yet because we were on a super top-secret trip (well, top-secret to Matt's mom) to Virginia.  We left  home on Thursday night, drove through the night, and surprised Matt's mom by standing (probably somewhat creepily) at the foot of her bed when she woke up Friday morning.

And for the next four days we shopped and ate and cooked and were spoiled rotten and and saw old friends and put together Barbie townhouses (damn you, elevator!) and basically did experiments to see just how much food the ol' human body could consume without actually exploding.

Right now, after sitting in the car for most of the day yesterday with soaking wet, cold jeans and a dog who would only rest if he could also steal my pillow and blanket, I feel like this.

But I'm working to muster up the energy to ellipt, and the I will reward myself with a trip to Target, because I haven't been to my home Target in like 5 days and I miss my favorite cashier and I have gift cards to use and I think I'm in dire need of a pair of work pants that won't put a giant dent in my child's head.

So, what about you?  How was your Christmas?  What'd you do?  What'd you get?

Stuff I Love

In an effort to ignore the one thousand times I've sneezed today* and the killer headache I'm going to have in approximately six hours when I wake up for work (gross), I am going to focus on the positive and show you some things that are making me smile a whole lot lately.

1.  None of Your Frizziness conditioner by Herbal Essences.  I am a complete cheapass when it comes to hair products (or beauty products in general, if we're being honest), so this stuff is super amazing because it makes my hair silky smooth without being greasy, and it smells like a happy day at the beach.  Well, it also kind of smells like a Mary Kate & Ashley brand shampoo that I used when I went on a trip to Mississippi with a professor in college (I wouldn't recommend going on a trip with a professor in college, but that's a story for another time), so, anyway, I also laugh every time I use the conditioner.  Silky hair and hilarious smell deja vu?  Shoot yeah!

2.  More Amish Butterprint treasures!  Matt's mom (are you jealous that my mother-in-law is so much better than yours?) got me these when she was at the Bouckville antiques extravaganza last month.  Are they just the cutest thing you've ever seen or what?  Cassie says that one dish on the right is for pate.  Hmmmm. . .well, I used it to store leftover tater tots this weekend.  That's the same, right?

3.  Cold food.  Mmmmmmm.  I love cold food.  Cold pizza, cold french fries, cold stir fry, cold pasta.  Matt thinks this is the most disgusting thing of all time.  I think it's delicious.

4.  My little cuddle wolf.  Why is he so cute?  Would this pose scare off a murderer robber?  Yeah, I think so, too.

5.  These lollipops that I stole from Tanya's house last weekend.  They're cotton candy flavored or something, and they're super tasty.  She says they came from Party City or something, so I might need to go on an outing here soon.

6.  A trio of baby pumpkin cakes!  They look a little less hobo-like once frosted and sprinkled with walnuts.  You can tell that Cassie totes decorated the one on the left.  I've not got the patience for that bull jive!

I also love people who come to my house and clean it and then do all of my essay grading while I sit on the couch and watch Teen Mom, so if anyone out there is bored, feel free to come on by.  I'll provide you insightful commentary on the state of Amber and Gary's relationship and Farrah's stupid bitchness.  



*Matt refused to say anything after someone sneezed.  No "God bless you," no "Gesundheit," no nothing.  He said he does not need to acknowledge that I've sneezed.  I say he's lucky I still have a soul.  I've been so obnoxious about his refusal over these last nine years that recently, whenever I sneeze, he gives me a really exaggerated "God bless you."  It's a minor victory, sure, but it sure makes having a cold a lot more fun.

Hey hey hey.

Sorry about the complete and utter slackassness on the ol' bliggity blog.  Just wanted to stop in and say hey what's up so that you don't think we're dead or something.

Life has been good to us lately.  This weekend Matt's parents came down, and we ate and drank and shopped and went to parks and chillaxed.  Matt and I were spoiled like crazy, and it was a wonderful, peaceful weekend.  And I took nary a picture.  Shoot.

But since you love to look at pictures, I did find this beaut on Chloe's Facebook page.

I promise you she's smart.

Today was back to real life, which included working, ellipting, eating gigantic meatball subs (ellipting makes you so hungry!), chatting on the phone, doing laundry.  Not terribly exciting, but kind of nice.  When I am less tired, I'll come back with all manner of treasures and stories. Until then, I've got some Teen Mom to watch and a date with the big bed.

How was your Labor Day weekend?  

This and That

1.  So, Tanya told me that once a woman turns 30, her chances of being attacked drop by like 75%.  So that's comforting.  Now that I'm thirty I am too old and too frumpy to be worth attacking.  Matt says that it's because 30-years olds aren't walking around downtown drunk and stupid.  I say it's because of gravity.  Either way, it's nice to know that I'm less likely to be attacked.

2.  Nothing makes you feel older than high schoolers who are writing essays about time travel.  When they ask, "So, how were the '80s for you?" as though they're talking about the early days of the Roman Empire, you will feel old.  Also, they don't get Saved by the Bell references.  What is this world coming to?  And how am I supposed to teach what an aside is now?

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3.  Happy birthday to Caitie!  It's not so bad, Cait.  Hell, you're less likely to be attacked!


4.  Someone buried a Milk Bone in the back yard.

5.  I am so proud of Tyler and Catelynn on Teen Mom.  Those kids sure are doing their best!  Keep on keepin' on, Tyler and Catelynn (and keep using birth control)!

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6.  We got new neighbors in the house behind ours, and they have some kind of yellow lab mix dog.  He's cute.  Here's the thing, though.  He's Mitch's bark twin, and he barks a good bit, and I always end up walking to the back to see what's wrong with my pup, only to find that he's sitting on the couch or under the bed just chillaxin'.  I wonder if Mitch is weirded out by his bark twin?

Oh, you want to see another picture of my dog sitting on the couch?  Okay!

7.  When I was at the BlogHer conference a few weeks back, I got a bunch of swag.  (Definitely can't talk about swag without feeling super douchey like Michael Scott on The Office.)  I ended up leaving most of it on a park bench with a note for someone to just take it because I had a tiny suitcase and all of the shipping stores were closed.  But I held on to a few items, one of which was a Tempurpedic all-purpose pillow.  OMf'ingG this is the greatest pillow that man has ever created.  I basically carry it around from room to room, finding excuses to lie down (not hard to do) just so that I can use the pillow (and, also, be lazy).  It's a little pricey for a small pillow, but I'm obsessed.  I want about five more.  

8.  Making this for dinner right now.  (Yes, at 11:45.  We're nocturnal.)


9.  Making this for dinner for tomorrow.


10.  Haven't been this excited to see a Friday come in a while.  It's been a long week, and teenagers make me tired (why do they keep asking me questions all the time?).  Plus, we've got some awesome company arriving Saturday afternoon.  Plus, THREE DAY WEEKEND!  Woo-hoo!

To sum up, let's extend three cheers to the following: food, pillows, dogs, awesome in-laws, Fridays, days of labor that are actual lazy days, Caities, birthdays, and not being attacked.

Back with a Vengeance

That title probably made you think that I'm mad.  I'm not mad.  Well, not angry mad.  Crazy mad, maybe.  Who cares?  I'm off topic already.

Anyway, we're back from our little summer trip.  It was just delightful.  We chillaxed, and ate at every chain restaurant that we don't have at home (judge away), and shopped, and ice creamed, and gambled (super poker-playin' Matt won $600!), and talked, and swam, and drank, and laughed, and went for boat rides, and watched HGTV (a must when visiting Matt's parents--Matt's dad's commentary alone makes it worthwhile), and almost got attacked by a swarm of bees a la Macaulay Culkin's character in My Girl.*

Here's what it looked like.

 Malted milk ice cream, this time with chocolate malt powder.  Out of control.

 Got to see Matt's old roommate, Brad, who has a good job and is handsome and looking for a wife.  Ladies?  Anyone?  He's funny, too!

Anyone?  He's really funny!  And important!

 Mitch loves it when he can run around outside sans leash.  So do I.

 Buffalo chicken tender night.

I like to torment Matt's younger brother by taking 100 pictures of him at a time.  He loves it, I'm pretty sure.

 When Mitch is on vacation, he refuses to eat dog food.  Only treats and steak.  Spoiled dog.

 Been eating grilled cheese sandwiches like it's my job.

Boat ride = happy pup.

I know you've probably been feeling a void in your heart since we haven't been updating much, but have no fear.  I've got recipes and some house stuff and some rants about MTV shows on their way.  Stay tuned!

*My Girl is the second movie that made me cry like a baby.  The first was The Land Before Time.  Poor Littlefoot!

Decisions, Decisions.

What up?  We're on vacation right now (but there are rabid wolf/alligator/murderers guarding our house so don't rob us unless you want to be drowned and stabbed and then chewed up after you contract rabies) and just enjoying chatting with friends and family.  Plus, there's an elliptical machine here, so Matt, a.k.a., "fitness fool" is able to get his fix.

Vacation's been pretty quiet and gluttonous.  Yesterday, though, Matt's mom and I made a trip to IKEA because I wanted to pick up an extra couch cover for our couch.  And I lucked out like a mofo because not only did I find my white cover, but I found an extra one in the as-is bin for only $30.  So for $80 I got two couch covers.  They look like this:

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White cover pros: awesome looking, fresh, clean, pillows will look awesome on it.  Cons: a dog sits on the couch, Wal-Mart feet, general feelings of anxiety about f'ing it up.

Here's the plan.  One of these covers will stay white until it becomes too dingy or stained, at which point I will dye it grey.  But the other?  Oh, the possibilities!

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Grey couch cover pros: general awesomeness, looks very adult, won't show Mitch fur, won't show dirt, will look cool when contrasted with bright and colorful pillows.  Cons: not all that exciting, kind of dullsville.

I need your opinion here.  Keep in mind that I will already have a couple of serious grown-up looking covers, so this one is for fun and general awesomeness.  Also, the color needs to be a shade that is not too dark lest it show too much Mitch fur.

So I've narrowed it down to green, orange, pink, purple, or turquoise.

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Green couch cover pros: so fun, bright and happy, won't show Mitch fur too much, will look good against the wooden shelves.  Cons: maybe a little too bright, too similar to the turquoise in the kitchen and elsewhere in the house, lots of my throw pillows are green.

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Orange couch cover pros: so fun (!), wouldn't show fur too much, would look good with my pillows on it, is a really fun contrasting color to the turquoise that's everywhere else.  Cons: I already have a bunch of orange accents in the room, and this could be overkill; it will be up against the kind of already orangey wooden bookshelves.

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 Pink couch cover pros: it's pink, it's so incredibly fun I can't even stand it, would look really fun with my pillows, would look great contrasted with the turquoise elsewhere in the house.  Cons: it's pink, could be a little too warm since it's going up against the wooden bookshelves, perhaps overly girly.

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Purple couch cover pros: school spirit, purple is awesome, there's really not any purple in that room already, nobody has a purple couch, would look awesome with my pillows, Matt will think it's blue.  Cons: could be a little too dark, people might think that we are royalty and be nervous around us.

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Turquoise couch cover pros: um, beautiful, would look great with my pillows, would look great against the bookshelves, wouldn't show dog fur too much, it's basically my favorite color, isn't overly obnoxious.  Cons: I have already painted three rooms in our house turquoise and it might be too much.  What if I start to hate turquoise at some point.  Hell, it happened with hunter green.

So, I need your input.  What should it be?  

This Is a Time for the FANCY SILVER!

I think the lesson we can take away from this story is the same one that would apply to eating decent ketchup: good things come to those who wait.  

I mentioned a while ago that while we were on spring break, Matt's mom's best friend Kim bestowed upon us quite a few amazing gifts, not the least of which was just a massive box of fancy silver.  You know, like silver silverware.

Like, stuff you'd use when serving the queen.

See, Kim is a champion shopper--for all things, including antiques.  She was even with Sue when they found my Amish Butterprint bowls.  Anyway, way back when, when Matt and I were engaged (and doing everything to avoid calling each other fiance because we were so freaked out by the sound of it and the way it's hard to say it without sounding like a pretentious a-hole), Kim presented me with three different silver patterns that she could find relatively easily, and asked me to pick the one I liked best.

I picked this pattern, Grosvenor, because of its general amazingness.  It was so different and cool, and I loved the detail and the shapes of the different utensils.  For my bridal shower, Kim gave me a box with about a dozen of the pieces, promising to get me the rest in the future.  And then, with all of the hubbub with the wedding and the honeymoon and wine drinking and ninth grader corralling and baking and getting fatter by the minute, I kind of forgot that I had more silver coming my way.

And then over spring break, we had breakfast with Kim and she casually mentioned that she had my silver in the car and that, oh yeah, it was basically enough to host a wedding reception.

She wasn't kidding.

So we got the box down to the lake, and I began to fondle my silver.  And Sue taught me all about silver: about how you're not supposed to use lemony detergent, about how you put it with felt to keep it from tarnishing too quickly, and how you can use this amazing stuff called silver polish to make it all shiny and beautiful. 

So we polished.

And we polished.

And we rinsed.

And we buffed.

And we polished some more.

And then Sue was all, "We should totes refinish the silver box" (except that she didn't say it like a fool like I just did) and so we did.  Because my mother-in-law is not only like the most knowledgeable person about fancy silver, but she's also got a tool collection that would put Tim Taylor to shame.  

So while Matt and his dad went hiking and then Matt retreated to the dock to bury his face in a book, Sue and I got all handy.  

Now I have fancy silver, and a fancy box to put it in.  But I'm not fancy.  Shoot.

BUT!  It still works great for occasions that are less fancy, like when you need to ladle more barbecue sauce onto your ribs. . .

. . .or you need to finish off that piece of cheesecake from TGIFridays.

. . .or when your favorite three-year old is having a party.

Works for me.

Do you have fancy silver?  And, if so, when do you use it?