Farewell Summer

Well, this is my last post as a woman of leisure.  I go back to school tomorrow, and I'm trying to muster up the motivation to redecorate an entire new classroom, do lesson plans, and face teenagers again.  The two months away have been just lovely (and, obviously, I'm ridiculously fortunate to have a job that provides such nice, long breaks), but right now the thought of being back in a classroom with thirty odd kids makes me want to whine and then sleep.  But by next Monday I'll be good and ready because, if for no other reason, I have no choice.

This summer has been fun and productive.  Matt's birthday celebration this weekend kind of doubled as a farewell to summer, and it couldn't have been nicer.  We went to see Midnight in Paris, which you should go see.  I'm trying to figure out a way to work it into my American Literature curriculum.  

After the movie we stopped by Saigon Bistro for lunch.  (Savannah folk, if you have not been to Saigon Bistro, you are really missing out.  It's cheap and delicious and fresh and awesome.)  Then it was off to the beach for the rest of the afternoon and evening.  The evening beach visit was Matt's birthday request, since we had so much fun doing the same thing last year.  And it was grand.  We really try not to take for granted the fact that we live so close to the beach, and that we can just go out there for a couple of hours when we feel like it.

Matt was happy as a clam all night.

"No, Matt, I'm not going to put these pictures on the internet." 

And then these pretty awesome clouds rolled in, and Matt and Collin were really taken with them. I've never heard people talk about clouds for so long, and with such fervor, as I did last night.  Then I think that Matt got annoyed with me because, while I thought the clouds were pretty great, I did not think they were so great as to merit a full 30-minute discussion of them.  Then I got annoyed that Matt was annoyed.  We finally decided to agree to disagree on the degree of the awesomeness of the clouds.  Oh, marriage.  (Also, maybe I would have found the clouds to be more extraordinary had I not bee the DD for the night?)

Matt stood there, basically having a religious experience staring at the clouds.

And then, when the clouds started to dump rain on us and Matt's hair began to stand up straight (like he'd rubbed it with a balloon), we decided it was high time that we head on up to Fannie's for dinner.  And then it was my turn to have a religious experience--with nachos.

Farewell, Summer!  Until we meet again!

This and That

1.  There are only 11 more school days (with kids) remaining this year.  That's not very many days.  Also, I am amazing at the math.

2.  This summer I will not be working, and because I won't have as much disposable income, I'm working to find fun, free (or very inexpensive) things to do.  Any suggestions?

3.  Trying to turn us into cloth napkin people.  It's easier to do because Kim (of fancy silver fame) also gave me a big bag of Matt's grandmother's linens.  We used them last night, and I felt so sophisticated.  Basically, if you come to our house we'll do things like have string quartets and jewels baked into cakes.

4.  Make these Brussels sprouts, even if you don't like Brussels sprouts.  Every time we make them, they are the star of the meal.  I want to take a day this summer where I do nothing but make and eat these.  Not really free, but could be fun, right?

5.  If you haven't seen Bridesmaids, please do.  I need to talk to someone about how much I love it.  Go see it and then call me so we can laugh about it.

6.  This little ol' blog turned two a couple of weeks ago, and I totally missed it.  Shoooot.  My very first post was done kind of on a whim when a snake jumped out of some bushes and tried to kill me.  Just a few days ago, our sweet little old mailman met Matt and me in the driveway to deliver our mail, telling us that there's been a snake hanging out on our front step.  Later I noticed the note he'd written at the top of our insurance bill.

I love cute mailmen.  I do not love snakes.  That damn snake has now tried to kill me and our mailman!  Snakes will still kill you.  That's what we've learned in two years.

What will the next years bring?  Hopefully more baked goods and less danger.

Love and Marriage

[A conversation that took place when we walked into the living room, only to find Mitch watching Hotel for Dogs on HBO.]

 

Me: Wait, is that that Don guy?

Matt: Cheadle?

Me:  Yeah, him.  What's he doing in Hotel for Dogs?

Matt:  Well, he was in Hotel Rwanda.  It just makes sense.

This and That

 I love the week between Christmas and New Year's.  I love it even more when I don't have to work.  Horray for holidays!  Here are some random musings to get you through the next few minutes, or to keep you from checking Facebook compulsively.  Be forewarned, though: you may be dumber after having read it.

1.  All I can think about lately is ice cream and waffle cones.  Yesterday I bought David Lebovitz's The Perfect Scoop, and I couldn't be more excited about learning all of the new recipes.  That man's an ice cream genius!

  

2.  Saw True Grit on Christmas and The King's Speech yesterday.  Both are wonderful, perfect films that I plan to watch dozens more times.  Why are the Coen brothers so good?  And why is Colin Firth so self-depricatingly dreamy? 

3.  Yesterday we went to the mall and were afraid to get out of the car because there were a bunch of birds with really sharp beaks who seemed just a little too comfortable with the idea of killing after-Christmas shoppers.

4.  If you haven't made Hugh and Cassie's David Chang brussels sprouts, you need to. 

5.  How cute is Opal?

6.   I know everyone else in the world is dealing with blizzards and all, so this probably isn't as exciting to you--but on the day after Christmas it was snowing in Savannah (you have to say that the way Michael Scott said "There's been a murder in Savannah" on The Office).  It wasn't accumulating or sticking even, but it was snow, and it was beautiful, and it felt Christmasy.

7.  Mitch has taken to sitting in Matt's recliner.  It's never not funny.

8.  And, finally, this has been my official uniform of Christmas Break 2010.  It's basically a "homeless Punky Brewster" look. When I have to go out of the house, sometimes I put on actual shoes.  But I've not removed that hoodie from my body in over eight days.  Fancy, huh?

Happy Tuesday to you!  Hope you're enjoying your week!

Gross Stupidity

The other day I was having a conversation with a woman I know, but kind of wish that I didn't.  For privacy and professional reasons, I can't tell you too much about her.  This woman, though, will drone on for way too long about such topics as "I can't believe that Michael Jackson is dead" (Really?  I thought that one was pretty believable.) or "The Puritans were so religious"  (Oh, really?  I had no idea!).  

So the other day, this woman was trying to get me into one of those cliche "kids grow up so fast" kinds of conversations about her daughter.  She said, and I shit you not:

"She's just growin' up, looking so much more grown-up.  It's like that movie Benjamin Button, only the opposite."

Father of the Year

So, as part of our Sunday Funday, Matt and Collin and I went to the movies (read: I joined them on their weekly movie date) to see Get Him to the Greek, starring the British guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall as the same character he played in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Now, I wanted to see the movie as soon as I heard that he'd be Aldous Snow again, but I wanted to even more when Matt pointed out that the reason that the preview probably didn't make the movie seem that great was because of how offensive and crass the movie was going to be.  Sold I was.

 We got there early, bought our tickets, got our bucket-sized drinks, and headed to the theater.  And there we sat for a while, bitching about how stupid people are, and mocking the ridiculous previews.  There were previews for Prince of Persia, and for a bunch of other awful looking science fiction stuff.  So we sat there, confused, until Matt had the inspired idea to check his ticket to make sure we were in the right theater.  We were not.  Instead, we were in the theater for Just Wright, Queen Latifah's new flick. This one.



Fortunately, we caught our mistake in time, and made it over to the correct theater across the hall before Get Him to the Greek started.  And it was funny.  Really funny.  Really inappropriately and offensively funny.  And I was loving it. . .until I realized that there were three kids--about nine years old--sitting two rows in front of us.  Collin and I noticed it at the same time, when there was some [very inappropriate for a nine-year old child] banter about mind fucking, and we heard a child's laughter break out.  From that point on, all I could think about was the three kids in front of us, and their piece of shit dad who was sitting with them, looking at his Blackberry and ignoring the fact that this was--next to porn itself--the most inappropriate film he could have taken his three young children to see today.

At some point, I left the theater to use the bathroom, and when I returned I saw that the signs for the two movies had been switched, which accounted for our original confusion.  Matt was happy to hear this, since Collin and I had been laughing for over an hour about how Matt had lead us astray and tried to make us watch some crappy basketball movie.

After the movie was over--and after the asshole dad left his drink in its cupholder; I guess he was just too busy with the Blackberry to think to be courteous and throw it away--we saw the kids out in the hallway pointing out that the signs had been put back where they belonged.  It seemed that they'd made the same mistake that we had, except that their dad wasn't paying enough attention, or didn't care enough, to fix it.  Stellar.  Mom's going to have a fun time explaining to the kids all about fellatio, and the clap, and why people but heroin up their butt.  Father of the year, I tell you. 

Anyway, you (if you're over 18 and are not named Chloe) should go see Get Him to the Greek.  It's hilarious, and it's awful, and I want to go to an Aldous Snow show.  Just don't take the kids, unless you want them to one day be putting heroin up their own butt.**



**Today's episode reminded me a little bit of the time my mom was out of town for the weekend, and my dad went to Blockbuster to rent movies.  I was about 11 and Jordan was 7, and my dad got Boyz in the Hood and Silence of the Lambs.  He, at least, had to good sense to make us leave the room for Silence of the Lambs.  To date, neither Jordan nor I have put heroin up our butt, which is even more remarkable because we went to a high school that was nicknamed "Heroin High."  More on that later.

UniverSoul Circus, etc.

You ready to be jealous?  Tonight, Caitie and I will be attending the UniverSoul Circus. 

Matt and I went last year with some friends, expecting it to be awful, but discovered that it is. . .AWESOME.  F'ing awesome.  Except for the elephants.  That part was disturbing.  There were shovels involved, not to mention animal cruelty.

So this year I'm taking Caitie.  She's in for a treat!

In other news:

•  I am about to wage war against pollen.  I have learned that Sudafed only works when paired with two glasses of boxed wine from Target. 
• We're heading to Matt's parents' lake house tomorrow.  I'm excited to relax and visit and eat my body weight in cheese and crackers.
• I want to go shopping.  I'm thinking Gap hoodie.  What would you recommend?
• I need to finish our taxes.  There's something about owing the state of Georgia--the same state that has furloughed me for five days--about nine hundred dollars that's making me drag my feet on filing.  Hey, Georgia!  You know what would make it easier to pay you that nine hundred?  Oh yeah!  The money from those furlough days! 
• It's gorgeous outside.  Methinks we should visit a park today.
• Lost and I have a love-hate relationship.  I think I'm ready for it to be over.  Truth be told, I only cared about what the numbers meant, and now that I know that, I'm satisfied.  The rest is just for fun, except that it seems to bring more stress than fun.
• And speaking of fun, I'd highly recommend Hot Tub Time Machine.  It's an exercise in lowered expectations, and I loved it.  But I should tell you that I hated it so that you will love it.
• Still don't care about Tiger Woods.
• And, finally, something delightful stolen from Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish.

Happy hump day to you!

Mash Up

F'ing Avatar.

More on Avatar

The more I think about Avatar, the more I hate it. And the Filmspotting boys agree. Thank you, Adam and Matty!

Avatar: pretty but dumb--super dumb--like many people I've met.

Matt's Movie Review

Those of you who follow my weekly movie review on the blog know that perhaps my greatest skill is procrastination. Here's how I just wasted the last 45 minutes of my life: http://www.flickchart.com/. It's a site where they give you two movies and you pick which you like better. As you pick the movies they keep a running list of your favorite movies of all time. When they made me pick between A Clockwork Orange and No Country For Old Men I almost had a nervous breakdown. Eventually I had to go with Alex and the ultraviolence. At the moment my number one is Jaws, but we'll have to see how it fares against The Big Lebowski or The Godfather.

Later,

Matt

Matt's Movie Review: Top 5 this Year

For those of you who don't know, I go to the movies almost every week with my friend Collin. Collin, who saves his ticket stub from every movie, was kind enough to send me a list of all the flicks we have seen this year so I could do a top five movies of the year thus far. Unfortunately, four of the first five movies we saw this year were releases from last year, and thus I made them ineligible for the list. So Frost/Nixon, Slumdog Millionare, The Wrestler, and Gran Turino are not on the list. It sucks living somewhere where you have to wait until January and February to see all of the Oscar contenders. So the list of movies I am choosing from is actually a bit shorter than I had anticipated:

• Defiance
• Coraline
• Watchmen
• Friday the 13th
• I Love You, Man
• Duplicity
• Observe and Report
• The Soloist
• Wolverine
• Star Trek
• Terminator Salvation
• Drag Me to Hell
• The Hangover
• Year One
• Public Enemies
• Funny People
• The Hurt Locker
• Up

So those are the movies I have seen in the theatre this year. Without further ado, my top five.

5. Star Trek

So I thought a lot about this fifth pick, and one thing finally settled it. I was very close to putting Public Enemies here, but I thought to myself, if these two movies were on cable late one night, which one would I watch? Not even close. Public Enemies features a strong lead performance by Johnny Depp and some interesting direction by Michael Mann, but in the end the story isn't particularly compelling. Star Trek, on the other hand, is a very successful summer popcorn movie, fun from beginning to end. Zachary Quinto as Spock and Chris Pine as Captain Kirk anchor a great cast as they reimagine a series that I had previously had almost no interest in. Props to JJ Abrams for rebooting this franchise.

4. The Hangover

Most of you have probably seen this movie already, and for those who haven't I won't ruin any of the jokes. Great performances from some long undersung comedic actors and plenty of debauchery. Obviously the MVP of this flick is Zach Galifinakis, who will probalby make about a billion dollars in the next two years.

3. Up

Refer to the wife's review of this flick for the full take. Needless to say it got a little dusty in the movie theater. I am beginning to wonder if Pixar will ever make a bad movie.

2. Funny People

Saying that this is Adam Sandler's greatest performance is an understatement on the level of saying that Sarah Palin is not well versed in the issues of the day. This is Judd Apatow's third movie as a director, despite all of the movies to which he has lent his name as producer. The first two: 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. The guy knows how to make a good movie. This one works on several levels. It is funny as hell, it is a fascinating character study, and it takes the viewer inside the world of stand up comedians in a way few movies do. Adam Sandler plays George Simmons, a comedian who has consistently sold out over his career by making a series of terrible movies that have made a lot of money. I know, what a stretch for him. Simmons is diagnosed with a disease that will most likely be fatal, and he is forced to confront the emptiness of his life. We have seen this sort of thing before. The genius of the film is that it never shys away from the fact the George Simmons is not a good guy. Every time it veers into schmaltz, there is a dick joke to break the tension. While the two main characters are played brilliantly by Sandler and Seth Rogen, the supporting characters are equally fascinating and true. Jonah Hill is hilarious as always and Jason Schwartzman nails a character everyone feels like they kind of know (and hate).

1. The Hurt Locker

By far the best movie to come out this year is Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker. It follows an army bomb squad in Iraq in 2004. The lead performances, by Jeremy Rennar as team leader Seargent William James and Anthony Mackie as Sandborn are brilliant. James is an adrenaline junkie who has defused over 800 bombs and Sandborn is the man tasked with keeping him safe while he goes about his work. It perfectly captures the sense of a war in which any onlooker is a potential enemy and any hunk of rubble could be the bomb that kills you. It also manages to revitalize a tired movie/TV cliche of the disarming of bombs (which wire do I cut?) Bigelow uses a hanheld camera to put the viewer right in the situation with the characters while avoiding the pitfalls of that technique. Unlike other filmakers who have used the kind of grainy, handheld, cinema verite kinds of techniques (Michael Mann in Public Enemies for one) Bigelow never loses track of the characters or the action. In every scene the stakes are both incredibly high and perfectly clear. Even disregarding its trenchant observations on the Iraq war and what it means to fight in it, the film works as an action movie and as a thriller. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. The Hurt Locker is the best movie yet about the Iraq war and the best war movie since Saving Private Ryan.

Any other movie fans who read the blog, post your favorites this year so far in the comments. Or, if you agree or disagree with any of my takes, or if you have suggestions for other movies we should check out, let us know.

Coming soon, the worst movies I've seen this year.