I'm Baaaack! And Also, a Loser.

Hola, comrades.*  I have missed you so!

This post is going to be short because I'm still kind of wiped out, yet have an urge to get on the elliptical.  And since those urges are so few and far between, I should take advantage.  Plus, I haven't seen 90210 in days!  Days!

Stay tuned for a more thorough recap, but here are the high points.

1. I do not like to fly.  Not because of fear so much, but because of discomfort.  I would like a plane with a king sized bed, a cute dog, many pillows, and a down comforter.  Can we make that happen?  Do I have to become president first?
2. San Diego Zoo = amazing.
3. Totally lost the competition, but it was still way more fun that I thought it would be.  More on that later.
4. I'm a little bit smitten with San Diego and its weather.  Every day I was there was like a perfect Savannah October day.  Perfect Savannah October days are my favorite, and I was much more impressed with the town than I expected.  Also, I saw an old couple holding hands and roller blading!
5. Ate at Brian Malarkey's restaurant, Searsucker.  You might remember Brian from season 3 of Top Chef, you know, where he was handsome and charming and cooked amazing food.  I didn't realize until much later that we were at his restaurant, which is probably for the best because otherwise I might have completely lost my shit when he was standing right next to our table talking to people and I was all, "Huh.  That guy looks really familiar."  It was delicious, as you would expect.  I ate a giant hunk of pork with bacon emulsion.  Bacon emulsion is basically bacon butter.  I think I would like it on toast.  Or an apple.

Richard Blais and Brian Malarkey!

[source]

With that, I'm off to ellipt and then participate in a family snuggle nap.  Did you just puke in your mouth a little?  Yeah, ellipting is gross.

*Not a communist, Michelle Bachman.

Flip Burger!

One of the destinations during Cassie-and-Mandy's-excellent-adventure-around-the-capital-of-the-great-state-of-Georgia was Flip Burger.   Cassie'd been there a number of times, and every time she would tell Matt and me about one of her visits, we would drool all over ourselves, swearing that we needed to travel up to the ATL to get us some of that deliciousness.  Oh, and also, the chef of Flip Burger is none other than our favorite Top Chef contestant of all time, Richard Blais.

So, yeah, I was more than a little excited to go there.  (I felt kind of bad that Matt didn't get to join me on this trip, but not bad enough to not go myself.)

Every single little detail, every sip, every bite at Flip Burger was incredible, perfect, tasty.  

If I could eat there for every meal from now until the end of time, I would.  (Probably have to get an elliptical installed in the restaurant, though, so that I could live longer and eat more burgers and drink more milkshakes.)

Our trip to Flip Burger wasn't just delicious, though; it was also productive.  It was during our lunch that  I accomplished one of my New Year's resolutions.

See, way back when, when we were ringing in 2011 and nursing our champagne hangovers, I pledged to-- during this, the year that I would turn 30--eat a runny egg.  Because I'm mature like that.  Forget all of this self-improvement rigmarole!  I needed to eat an egg that wasn't scrambled! (BTW, I didn't even eat eggs by themselves until after I had graduated from college.)

I got the pork chorizo burger (which was, by far, the most amazing burger that I've ever eaten--ever), and pushed the top half of the bun down and, eeek!

I was a little afraid.  Okay, a lot afraid.

So I dipped one of the prongs of my fork into the egg and tasted it very gingerly.

And then, an exhange:

Me: Oh, it just tastes like egg. 

Cassie:  Yeah.  What did you think it would taste like?

Me:  Poison slime.  But it doesn't.  It's basically just egg sauce.

Cassie:  You're an idiot.

Not only did I eat an egg, but I also ate honey mustard sauce (must've had some cinnamon or nutmeg or something in it to make it extra delicious).  I'm basically like the most mature, most adventurous eater who's ever lived.*

And then I got a Cap'n Crunch milkshake, which is kind of like taking two steps back from my super mature adventure mode.  Whatev.  It was awesome!  I will be trying to recreate it at home very, very soon.  Someone get me some liquid nitrogen!

Anyway, just needed to share.  Matt and I have big plans to return to Flip Burger in a month or so, and I'm sure I'll have to fill you in on Matt's inaugural visit, too.  What new foods will we try?

*Also BTW, one time I went to a friend's birthday dinner with a bunch of people I didn't know, and I sat across from this guy who basically just bragged about himself for the entire meal.  He kept referring to himself as a very adventurous eater, and with every utterance of that phrase he convinced me more and more that he was, perhaps, the biggest tool on the planet.  But he was an adventurous eater.  Now Matt and I just make fun of that guy.  But that's because we're unadventurous eaters, I suppose.

PHEW!

Richard won Top Chef: All Stars!  I don't think we've ever been so stressed and worried about a reality show (excepting, of course, that episode of The Real World where Stephen slapped Irene and threw her stuffed animal into the water).  Also, we're watching the after special right now and I'm pretty sure that Padma is drunk.

Yay for Richard!

This and That

1.  If Richard Blais doesn't win Top Chef All-Stars, then I will never watch that show again.  If Richard Blais loses to Mike Isabella, then I will never watch TV again.  Mike Isabella is so skeezy!

2.  There is a handful of movies that I will watch every time I see them on TV.  This list includes, but is not limited to: Groundhog Day, Father of the Bride (parts I and II), Forgetting Sarah Marshall, A River Runs Through It, and the first Sex and the City movie*.  Slate had a pretty cool article recently about what makes a movie re-watchable.  What movies can you watch over and over?

3.  Operation: Skinny Unicorn is going pretty well.  I have been eating much better (and much less!) lately, and have been feeling pretty good.  I say that now.  Last week I might have had a tantrum where I just kept telling Matt, "I'M HUNGRY!"  while throwing my body around like Paul Rudd's character Andy on Wet Hot American Summer.  Maybe I then threw myself on my bed and cried for several minutes and was just a big baby? 

This week has been much better, and I'm determined to win, because I need some new shoes.  Check out my favorite school shoes.

4.  I have tomorrow off of school because it's St. Patrick's Day.  Isn't that awesome?  And Friday is a teacher workday.  Unfortunately, I won't see a ninth grader until Monday.  Oh, shoot.

5.  Modern Family needs to come back with some new episodes.  I'm going through withdrawal!

6.  I've been completely obsessed lately with watching Brothers and Sisters on Netflix instant.  Why is it so good?  Also, it's kind of terrible, and the writing is the worst, but I love it anyway. 

7.  Mitch is still the cutest dog on the planet.

8.  I only have ten more days of my twenties.  That's freaky.

9. I want this flying car.

10. This week Matt and I went over to the dark side; we joined Sam's Club.  You don't have to scold me, but you can judge away.  And then be jealous of the 30-pack of awesome sweet and salty granola bars that we have in our pantry.

*I actually hate the Sex and the City movie, but am, for some god-forsaken reason, completely unable to tear myself away from it--especially the part where Carrie asks, after she was stood up by Big (except not really stood up--she's just crazy), "Will I ever laugh again?"  I really hate that movie, and should institute some sort of punishment for myself each time I watch it.  But isn't watching the movie punishment enough?

This and That

1.  Will someone please let all of the teenage girls know that slipper booties are not shoes, and are not appropriate footwear for going out in public?

2.  We got our Christmas tree tonight!  And there was some guy with a French accent who was trimming our tree who gave me greenery (probably because I was basically dressed like a Who from Whoville and was whistling Christmas carols).  I overestimated how much greenery I would need to put on the mantle, and now we basically have two Christmas trees.  But I'm learning to make wreaths, and perhaps some of the bough things that people put above doorways.  We'll see how that goes.  Even if they're ugly, at least the house will smell delightful.

3.  It's fancy dinner night here at M Cubed.  Shake 'n Bake, canned corn, and Uncle Ben's rice.  And you know what?  It's going to be delicious.  So what if we feel horribly inferior while watching tonight's Top Chef All Stars?  We already feel inferior while watching it (go Richard Blais!).

4.  My students were being really chatty today, so to punish them, I blasted the soundtrack to The Nutcracker.  That'll show 'em!

5.  Hoping that one of the all-female teams wins Amazing Race on Sunday.  I'm secretly rooting for a Brooke and Claire win, since Claire had to endure not only the most grueling of challenges, but also the watermelon face smash.  Also, what was with all of the douchey guys on this season?

6.  Also, today at school, my ninth graders and I were talking about people who had big ears (yeah, pretty tough to stay on track lately).  One of my boys mentioned that Martha Stewart has big ears, and I got a little defensive and was all "No she doesn't."  But he insisted, so we did some Google image searching and, wouldn't you know it, she's got some gigantic ears.  How weird!  (I think she always covers them up with her hair.)  But then I used our Martha Stewart conversation to teach the students about insider trading.  Teachable moments, people! 

7.  Get here, new camera!

8.  Get here, Christmas break!

Making Lemonade. . .

. . .out of pizza.

I'm here to share the final two meals included in Operation: Cook New Stuff.  New recipe #4 was Jonathan Waxman's Pizza with Bacon, Parmesan, Scallions and Tomato.  It looked a little bit amazing on the picture, and it sounded like the process part would be fun, too.  So, Sunday, before the herd of little girls came over, I made the dough, chopped up the rest of the ingredients for the toppings, and shredded about a half of a block of parmesan cheese. 

And then the girls and I made cupcakes and I put them in the oven--the broken oven.  Mother effer.

It was annoying enough that I couldn't enjoy a purple vanilla bean cupcake (and I feared a mutiny from the little ladies), but then when I realized that the broken oven would preclude me from making dinner, too, I was VERY annoyed.  Mother effer.

So Matt and I brainstormed, and I did some research on the Google, and we decided that we could grill the pizza.  We found a little tutorial, and embarked on our pizza grilling adventure (not quite as "livin' on the edge" as lighting the oven from underneath when the whole kitchen already smells like gas, but an adventure nonetheless). 

Grilled pizza #1 was a bit of a trainwreck, but a learning experience.  Pizza #2, well that baby was awesome. 

Here's Waxman's recipe for the pizza.  If you're like us, you'll laugh out loud at the part where he suggests putting 1/4 cup of cheese on two pizzas.  We used much more than that.  Of course, we hadn't gotten our parmesan from Parma as he suggested.  I won't be there again until the end of the month.

And, new meal #5 was this one from my friend Martha: Pasta with Prosciutto and Peas.  Mmmmmmmmmmm. 

(Martha's picture, not mine)

It was so good that I ate two bowls at dinner, and then had to muster up every ounce of willpower to quit.  Then I ellipted for forty minutes and decided to eat another bowl.  Then I had it for lunch today and was in heaven.  And, guess what?  We're making it for dinner again on Friday.*  Clearly, I highly recommend it.  (Also, I am a pea addict.  I will sometimes just eat pea sandwiches as a snack.  They're the healthier first cousin of the potato chip sandwich.)

*Do I really have to wait that long?

Steak Marinated in Soy, Ginger and Lime with Red Onion Toasts

So, this is one of the recipes we tried for Operation: Cook New Stuff.  It's from Jonathan Waxman's cookbook, A Great American Cook: Recipes from the Home Kitchen of One of Our Most Influential American Chefs.  When we watched Top Chef Masters this summer, Waxman was always our favorite, and it seemed that his cooking style would suit us well.  He was the simple guy.

Simple compared to the other Top Chef Masters.  (Kind of like how Maci is the "smart one" on Teen Mom.)  In the cookbook, Waxman explains that this recipe--a recipe that is far more involved and sophisticated than anything we ever make--is his take on fast food.  Now, our take on fast food is something like a spicy chicken go-wrap from Wendy's.  Or if we want to get fancy with our take on fast food we'll go to Chick-Fil-A and get a deluxe spicy chicken sandwich.  This recipe: not fast food.  But it's delicious and really fun to make, so we can give ol' Waxman a pass on that one.

Another perk about this recipe is that it uses relatively simple and inexpensive ingredients.  For the entire meal, we probably spent $15 (for four servings).  Even more exciting was that we learned where the broiler is on our oven.  (Yeah, we've lived here for three years and always wondered why that drawer that most people use for pots and pans would get so hot.  Sometimes I can't believe that the State of Georgia lets me teach children.) 

We intentionally cooked this meal last night because last night was Top Chef night, so it allowed us to eat amazing food and feel fancy.  And fancy we felt!** If you have a chance, or if you're trying to impress somebody, make this steak.  (Also, my picture doesn't even come close to doing it justice.  Those purpley things are the shallots that had been simmering in red wine and butter--ugly but awesome.  And those little red onion toasts?  Well, I could eat about a million and a half of those.) 

Jonathan Waxman's Steak Marinated with Soy, Ginger and Lime with Red Onion Toasts

Ingredients


2 pounds skirt or hanger steak
1 2-inch piece fresh ginger
1 lime
1⁄4 cup soy sauce
3 garlic cloves
1 cup dry red wine
3 shallots
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 red onion
4 slices sourdough bread
 
Preparation


Pat the steak dry with paper towels and place it in a nonreactive baking pan.

Peel and grate the ginger. Juice the lime. In a small bowl, mix the ginger with the lime juice and soy sauce. Smash 2 of the garlic cloves and add them to the marinade. Pour the mixture over the steak, cover, and marinate in the refrigerator for 2 hours.

Remove the steak from the marinade and place on a platter. Discard the garlic and ginger and reserve the marinade.

Bring the red wine to a boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Chop the shallots and add them to the wine. Boil to reduce the wine to 1/4 cup. Stir in the butter and salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

Meanwhile, heat the broiler. Slice the onion into 1/4-inch-thick rounds and place on a baking sheet. Sprinkle with the reserved marinade and broil the onion until tender and dark brown, about 10 minutes; be careful not to burn it. Transfer to a plate and set aside. Leave the broiler on.

Place the steak on the broiler pan and broil, turning once, just until medium-rare, about 4 minutes per side. Transfer to a cutting board and cover loosely to keep warm.


Toast the bread on both sides under the broiler.

Meanwhile, reheat the sauce over low heat. Split the remaining garlic clove in half and rub the slices of toast with the garlic. Place a slice of toast on each plate. Divide the onion among the toasts. Slice the steak and place on the plates. Top the steak with the red wine sauce and serve.

4 servings

**I should note, too, that it was Matt who did most of the work cooking this meal, mostly because I am incapable of following directions and he is so anal about following directions that he measures the water and uses a timer when he makes ramen noodles.  I chopped, he cooked.

Top Chef Commentary

Angelo (Top Chef contestant): I mean, I put my heart on that plate.

Matt: [in his Top Chef judge voice] I mean, I didn't care for the human heart ingredient in the dish.  It was so tough and chewy--and bloody.

This and That

1. Per the recommendation of our friend Ann, Matt and I will be staying in an apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan for two nights next week.  Oh, and did I mention that it'll be cheaper than if we stayed in a hotel in Jersey?  Vacation Rentals By Owner, http://www.vrbo.com/.  Why am I just now hearing about this?

2.  Mitch is still the cutest dog on the planet.

3.  All clearance items at The Gap are currently 40% off the clearance price.  I have a purple heathered shirt with a boxer (human, not dog) on it that says CONTENDER now.  It was $3, what can I say?  I can say, "I coulda been a contender!" in a Marlon Brando voice.  I think I might have to go back and get the one with the football player on it that says "LOCAL HERO," except that I don't know any movie quotes that go with that.  Guess I could always just tell people that it's Tim Riggins on the shirt, huh?

4.  Finally bought and and put together a TV stand that is an appropriate size for our TV.  While I was on the phone tonight, Matt yelled to me, "Um, Mandy, were you supposed to have two screws left over?"  I told him that, yes, I was supposed to have those left over and that they were extra.  He seemed to think that was okay.  Truth?  There's only supposed to be one extra screw, but I don't think it'll be an issue.  If Matt and I ever divorce, I feel like tonight's events might have something to do with it (like if our TV fell to its death, which won't happen).

5.  Still obsessed with The Lagoon.  Also happy that I've managed to get Matt to refer to that room as The Lagoon.  I used this same strategy fifteen years ago when my mom was pregnant with Chloe.  It's all about persistence and confidence, people.  I'm happy to have a Lagoon and a Chloe instead of a sunroom and a sister named Emily.

6.  I'm paranoid that the oil from the BP disaster is going to reach Tybee Island.  Slate has a neat interactive map that animates possible scenarios for the spread of the oil.  It's both interesting and terrifying.  Also, fuck you, BP.

7. There is a pile of laundry in my bedroom that is as tall as I am.  It's all clean, but I need to fold it and put it away.  Ugh.

8.  Sometimes I wonder if politicians and other people in power understand the concept of video.

9.  I hate Angelo on Top Chef.  Also, True Blood seems to be hitting its stride this season.  The latest episode was quite good.

10.  I think that tomorrow, while I'm not doing laundry and while I'm not washing the car or cleaning all of the fans in the house (as my to-do list begs), I'm going to watch 500 Days of Summer.  And maybe eat a grilled cheese.  Yeah, that sounds good.

I'm a Sweater.

It's been a weird week for me and the rest of us here at M Cubed, and I apologize for being such a blog-writing slacker.  I've been waiting tables for vacation money (and Target money), and other than that I've done nothing that's been particularly interesting.  But here's what I've got to share with you on this Friday.

1. Is Audrina on The Hills dating the same Ryan that Ashlee Simpson was dating?  Wow, I'd forgotten about how much I hated Ashlee Simpson.  And, boy, Ryan got fat.  It's okay, Ryan, I know how it is.
2. Speaking of MTV reality TV, how is Olivia (from The City) so evil?  Methinks she's in a contest with Spencer Pratt for most loathed character on television.
3. I still hate Top Chef's Angelo.
4. Trying to lure the wasps on the carport into a syrupy death.  It's not working so well.  As soon as I get the chance, it'll be science experiment time.  Get excited now. 
5. I don't vacuum or mop when it's raining, or when it's just rained, or if it looks like it's going to rain.  But here in Savannah it rains almost daily during the summer, and I'm thinking that I'll have to change my vacuuming/rain rules.  I won't walk across our floors right now unless I'm wearing shoes, which I think is a sign that it's time for a little cleaning.
6. I ate four (or was it six?) flour tortillas (the small ones) for dinner.  I only eat them in twos.  I also separate my Skittles by color and try to keep them grouped in even numbers, eating them in a rainbow order (red, then orange, then yellow, then green, etc). 
7. On Sunday night our electricity went out for ten hours, from eight o'clock until six something in the morning.  That was annoying enough.  Even more annoying, though, was the fact that our neighbors directly across the street still had power.  Stuff like that makes me wish that I was more friendly with the neighbors, or at least that I was more skilled at stealing electricity from others.
8. I have yet to remove that hideaous mint color from my toenails. 
9. Matt bought me She & Him Volume II for our anniversary.  He also bought me 500 Days of Summer.  Matt says that the third anniversary is the Zooey Deschanel anniversary. 
10. I've actually somewhat enjoyed waiting tables this week.  It's nice to be active, and to make money instead of spend it.  The biggest downside has been the embarrassment I've suffered because I have a sweaty, sweaty face.  Like, I sweat more than anyone I know, but it all comes out through my face.  It literally drips down my face.  F'ing disgusting.  This is probably some horrible disease.  I'm a sweater.  It's the sweater disease.

So, there you have it.  I'm sure that, having read this list of ten very uninteresting things, you're happy that I slowed down posting this week.

What We're Watching

Since we're TV junkies, and because we love to share and/or spit out our opinions about anything and everything, I wanted to let you know what we've been watching lately and how we feel about it.

1.  Top Chef Season 8.  This season is set in Washington, D.C., and the contestants seem pretty fun (but maybe not as strong as those in previous seasons).  In keeping with our game of picking our favorites (two guys and one girl each--and we've picked the winner every year since we started our game) during the season premiere, we picked three chefs each to root for.  I can't even remember the names of the contestants we chose right now, but I know who we didn't choose, and that's Angelo.  I'm sure he's good, but he's a tool and a half.  I'd like to see him wear a little less seersucker and a little more humility, and I can't wait to see him crash and burn during the team challenges.  ("Crashed and burned, eh, Mav?"  "Slider. . ." [sniff, sniff] ". . .You stink."  Oh, Top Gun, how I love thee.)

[source]

2.  Breaking Bad.  Technically we're not watching this currently because the season finale was last week, but I feel like I should take every opportunity that I can to shout from the rooftops about how everyone and their mom should be watching this show (unless your mom doesn't like drug dealers and brutal violence).  You can get it on Netflix and catch up on AMC during the summer, bitch.

[source]

3.  True Blood.  Vampire porn just gets more and more fun, doesn't it?  And this season boasts a lot more pups, which means that Mitch is more into the show than he was before.  Is it just me, or is Eric getting sexier by the episode?

[source]

4.  Friday Night Lights.  Eric the Vampire may be getting sexier, but he's got nothing on Coach Eric Taylor or Tim Riggins.  (Or on Tammy or Black Tyra, if you're reading this and aren't as into the sexy men.)  The show seems to be getting a little more raw, and I still haven't made it through an episode without crying.  Also, a short scene where Matt and Julie play Scrabble has helped my phone Scrabble scores tremendously; za is a word.  Thanks, Matt Sarasen!

[source]

Are we missing out on anything great?

Babies Three Ways

Sounds like a gross dish from Top Chef, huh? (sauteed, pureed, and grilled?) Anyway. . .

First of all, I finally got to open up my dingo-ate-the-baby tote. I LOVE IT, and can't even look at it without laughing. Is there a way to work A Cry in the Dark into the ninth grade curriculum? Sounds like it's time for some creativity.

Second, remember these signs? Well, today I saw one in real life! The one I saw, though, said "You can LOOK at the baby, but please don't touch." And the O's in the the word look were drawn to have googly eyes. How cute. Oh. . .and how insane! Is the baby featured in a zoo exhibit? I wanted to feed it peanuts.

Third, I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. It was a nightmare, really. (I blame the two minutes after seeing Up in the Air during which I thought that having a baby wouldn't be so bad. Yep, 120 whole seconds and then I snapped right back into reality.)

In my dream I was showing, and didn't want to admit to myself or other people that I was pregnant, so I just kept telling people it was because of all the sandwiches. The most horrifying part was that this accidental pregnancy was going to make me renounce my position on birth control. Then I woke up and had to pee really badly (and I didn't pee out a baby, and no, I'm not pregnant). Apparently pregnancy feels like really having to pee.

So there you have it, babies on bags, babies behind crazy signs, and babies in nightmares. Probably a little better than sauteed, pureed, and grilled.

Top Chef Finale!

Woooo-hoooooo, Top Chef finale tonight! I'm pretty pumped about it, and to celebrate the gourmet deliciousness the Matt and I will be making turkey tacos! (We can't watch Top Chef while hungry; it's torture.)

Right after the introductions on the first episode of each season, Matt and I each choose our three favorites. We're getting pretty good at this game, too, because the final three are all people we selected!

I only have one in the final three: Bryan Voltaggio (the smart, reasonable brother). He's got a restaurant in Frederick, Maryland, and I'm happy to cheer for the home town boy.

My second favorite is Kevin, who's Matt's favorite. Kevin's restaurant is in Atlanta, and Kevin is a complete badass. (Even if he does resemble Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.)

I don't want Michael Voltaggio to win. He's arrogant and not as good as the other two.

Go Bryan! Make Maryland proud!

See Ya!

Wouldn't wanna be ya!

We were full of glee last night when douche bag Mike got the ax. Hip-hip--horray!

Entertainment Week in Review

My musings on this week's entertainment:

• Yay for the return of 30 Rock. It never disappoints. Tracy Jordan, you are a delight.
• Are there two more loathsome people than The City's Olivia and Roxy?
• Oh, yes, there are. They are Lance and Keri from Amazing Race. Fortunately for all of us, they were the last team to arrive, and they have been eliminated from the race. But who will be there to supply us with 'roid rage and arm bandanas?
• Maybe idiot Michael from Top Chef. (Not younger brother Michael--idiot "I-am-so-much-better-than-everyone-else-here" Michael. I think he may be Lance's brother.) This week we get to watch restaurant wars, and the Matt and I can't wait.
• We went to see Where the Wild Things Are today. I would tell you all about it, but I fell asleep for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of the movie, so I don't really know what happened. I do know that it made me cry four different times, it stars the cutest kid on the planet, it has a great soundtrack, and it is visually stunning. Maybe I'll be able to convince Matt to write a review of it, and he can share all of his smart boy insights.

What have you been watching, reading, or listening to?

What I'm Watching

I really love the beginning of autumn. I love the crisp days and the hearty meals, the thought of wearing sweaters and hats and scarves. But one of the best things about this time of year? A NEW SEASON OF TV!

Here are some quick reviews of five shows that will get me through the school year:

1. The Office. I wasn't thrilled with the whole pregnancy thing, but I have faith that the writers will pull it off with plenty of awkward, I'm-embarrassed-for-them moments. And I'm particularly excited for the upcoming wedding episode. I love me a good tv wedding episode. Don't let me down, Office writers.

PS--The original version of The Office is quite the treat. Ricky Gervais, oh dear God. I'm uncomfortable just thinking about his interpretation of the boss, David Brent. It's like the American Office, only on crack.

2. The Hills. Out with the old and in with the new. Lauren's gone, Kristin has arrived, and all hell is about to break loose. (She's trying to snag Justin Bobby!) My 30-minute elliptical workout flies by when I'm watching--and by watching I mean feeling superior and passing judgment. I think I hate every single person on this show.

3. The City. This show is the tv equivalent of a Little Debbie snack or a Savory Toaster Strudel--so horrible, but absolutely delightful. It actually makes The Hills seem credible. Whitney's vapid New York friends and coworkers (particularly Olivia and Roxy) make Spencer and Heidi look like Gandhi and Bill Gates. Even though I'm a girl whose idea of fashion is a ratty tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops, the artificial glimpse into the fashion world fascinates me. But so do train wrecks.

4. TOP CHEF! What great fun. After a healthy dose of reality tv garbage, it's nice to watch a show where the contestants actually have talent. And this season may be the best yet. It's Vegas, Baby, and the stakes are higher.

Matt and I actually play a game when we watch quality reality television. During the season premiere we pick contestants to root for. Matt has bearded Kevin, weird Ashley who looks like a boy, and Mike, the younger Voltaggio brother. Team Mandy is Jenn the super bitch who is awesome and just might win, Bryan the older Voltaggio brother, and kerchief-wearing Mattin, who has already been eliminated. Dammit! He had a kerchief! I thought for sure he'd be in the final three!

5. The Amazing Race. This show is actually the best reality show on tv, and we pick teams for this one, too. I have done pretty well with picking teams in life; I've thrice picked the winners. THRICE! Matt has the Harlem Globetrotters (and I'm so jealous) and the good-looking blonde soccer-playing couple. I have Justin and Zev (Matt's so jealous) and the older couple who met on the internet. I always pick the older couples.

What are you watching this time of year? Any suggestions?