Comcast, You Suck.

Yes, Comcast, you suck.  A lot. 

Our internet has been out since Monday night, and Matt and I have been going through withdrawal.  I called Comcast to try to troubleshoot and/or fix the problem, but to no avail.  So the dipshit employee I was speaking with set us up an appointment with a technician--on Friday.  That was Tuesday.  He said that if they could fit us in earlier, then they would call us and let us know so that we could be home for it.  Of course, he didn't call, and someone came out when we were out celebrating our anniversary (and choosing to celebrate at places that had free wifi, passing the laptop back and forth as though it was some kind of drug).  But it's okay, because he set up an appointment for us--at the exact time that I told him we would NOT be available.  Fantastic.  It's cool. 

We pay more money for our cable and internet than we do for electricity, so it's really neat that it's not working and that the incompetence of others will keep us without internet for almost a week.  I'll get to spend lots of time here at Panera, eating mediocre food and listening to little kids scream.  A mom just stood two feet from me and spanked her kid.  He's screaming some more.

Thanks again, Comcast.  Maybe I'll use Panera's internet to find the number of a doctor who will tie my tubes for me.

XOXO

Little of this, little of that. . .

Still not much happening here in the SAV. Here's what I've got:

• A glimpse of our Friday night.

• Am I the only person in the world who doesn't care about Tiger Woods and his "addiction"?
• Am I the only person in the world who doesn't care about the Winter Olympics? I'd much rather have new episdoes of 30 Rock and The Office.
• I'm ready for spring. I'm also ready for mid-June. Sixteen more weeks of school! Wooo-hooo!
• Dear Comcast: it'd be really nice if the internet that we pay lots of money for would actually work. Love, Mandy.
• We ordered Omaha Steaks for Matt's parents for Christmas 2008. Omaha Steaks has called me almost every single day since trying to get me to order more. Guess who's never ordering Omaha Steaks ever (ever!) again?
• Is it really time to do laundry again? Didn't I just do all the laundry?
• I hope everyone in the world is watching Modern Family.
• I've been trying to be back on healthy eating lately, and I've been doing pretty well. (Had doctor appointment, got weighed, realized that I weigh as much as three people put together should weigh. Immediately began to monitor food intake and ellipt like crazy.) So I've been meticulously entering my food into Daily Plate, and exercising. And then what happens? Matt comes home last night with Girl Scout cookies--three boxes. Three boxes! Three boxes that I ordered about a month ago. Dammit! Damn you cookies! Why do you taste so good? Maybe I should just eat cookies while ellipting?

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Comcast = Big Brother

It's a case of life imitating art.

Yesterday, mostly in jest, I wrote a post damning Comcast for not having the most recent episode of The City available on On Demand. I was 85% joking, but had been genuinely annoyed on Thursday night when I couldn't find out what happened with Whitney and the boy with the crazy white teeth. I do recognize how spoiled I have become, however, with all of this technology that I take for granted. And I know that there are many people in the world who don't even have On Demand, and that I should count my blessings.

My post went up at 10:57 a.m., and at 1:35 p.m. I had a comment from none other than my mortal foe, Comcast. To save you all of the trouble of scrolling and clicking, here it is.

Hi Mandy,

I will check with my local contacts regarding this. If a show is not available on On demand, it is by choice of its network, not Comcast. The shows are supplied by the network. If the new shows are not supplied by the network, it will not be available on On demand.

What area are you from and what is the latest episode on your On demand?

Regards,

Mark Casem
Comcast Customer Connect
National Customer Operations
We_Can_Help@cable.comcast.com

I feel like I've committed thoughtcrime. Is Comcast going to lock me in a room with an army of jumpy frogs until I admit that Comcast is the best cable provider on the planet?

I can't decide if Comcast's blog stalking and commenting is good customer service, or if it's just creepy. What do you think?

(Oh, and let me give a shout out to Mark Casem, just in case he's reading this one. Mark, my husband says that you have nothing to worry about, that we're never cancelling our service because he relies too heavily on the services you provide. Also, he doesn't want to anger the Comcast gods. Please don't hurt us by taking away our cable, DVR, and internet.)

Comcast--FAIL!

Dear Comcast:

I know that we have a long history together. Remember the good ol' days, those filled with Family Ties and Joe Millionaire and high speed internet? Remember all of the hours that we have spent together, and all of the dollars that I have sent your way?

I am growing close to ending our friendship. It's a give and take, you see. I give you what could amount to a car payment each month, and you give me fast internet service, DVR, more channels than I could ever watch, and On Demand. Or so I thought.

Comcast, your On Demand is a suckfest. Why, when I go to watch this week's episodes of The Hills and The City, do you only have the most recent episode of The Hills? Listen, if it's one or the other, I choose The City. The Hills jumped the shark long ago. Sure, I still watch it, but it's become less and less enjoyable and more staged than ever. But The City is hip and fresh, and stars Kelly Cutrone! And I love to hate Olivia even more than I loved to hate Spencer Pratt.

This is not the first time you've denied me an episode of the best non-reality, reality soap opera on television today. No, because last season I never got to see the finale because of your On Demand ineptitude. I want The City and I want it NOW.

Fix it! If you don't, consider our long-standing friendship effectively ENDED.

Yours truly,

Mandy