Perfect Day, Danger Cookie

I have an inkling that I’ve got some cranky, uncomfortable, sleep-deprived, psychotic days coming in the next few months, so before those moments rear their ugly heads, I’d like to take a hot second to talk about how perfect yesterday was. 

First, I actually got out of bed ten minutes earlier than usual. (BANANAS! for someone who gets up only 15 minutes before walking out the door each morning.) So I got to work just a little earlier, which made everything seem just a little bit less rushed. I taught lessons that I really love teaching, and my students were well-behaved and pleasant, and I even found a super cool article about mass hysteria on the same day that I was about to start The Crucible! I got five new students in one of my classes, which would usually be something that would make me curse the scheduling gods, except that these all came from an overflowing honors class, and in their first day they completely changed the dynamic of my class for the better. Shoot yeah! I even had a big slice of chocolate cake for lunch, which must have had some magical motivational properties because I also got every single one of my papers graded and recorded.

When I got home, I discovered that my sweet husband had gotten off of work early and opened all of the windows in the house because it was 74 freaking degrees outside! I sat down to eat a potato chip sandwich* and catch up on my Words with Friends games and couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off of my face as I looked around at my clean house , the curtains blowing ever-so-slightly from the breeze outside. My little baby wolf was cute as could be, cuddled up on the couch with his dad, and sensing, I’m pretty sure, that it was the eve of his birthday. So I took him to the dog park where he smiled and ran and smelled stuff and tried to have his way with a German shepherd**. On the way there I talked to one of my favorite ladies (who also played a role in this perfect day) and was reminded of just how much I love my friends.

We returned home, relaxed, ate dinner at an hour that is befitting for normal humans, and watched Top Chef. I remembered that I’d bought myself some very cozy full-panel maternity yoga pants way back in September, so I dug them out (I know, I know, you can hardly handle the sexy) and pretended to kick Matt in the face, telling him that never again would he see a pregnant woman kick that high in the air. (He said to be careful that the baby didn’t shoot out.) And after wanting something sweet, then deciding to go to Wendy’s, then deciding not to go to Wendy’s and to eat grapes instead because I don't need to indulge every single fatbody craving that I ever have just because I am pregnant , I stumbled upon this recipe for Peanut Butter Bacon Cookies on the ol’ Pinterest, and thirty minutes later we were inhaling the salty sweet goodness.**

I know it’s not the most exciting thing for you to read the play-by-play of someone else’s day, but I wanted to document yesterday’s perfection so that I can go back and read about it next time I’m feeling like my body and mind have been inhabited by Satan himself.

But here’s something for you to make up for the syrupy diary-like entry.

Peanut Butter Bacon Cookies. OM-effing-G. Matt and I have decided that these should actually be called Danger Cookies**** because they’re so ridiculously quick and easy to make, and they’re, um, out of control delicious. (And gluten free, too, I think, which I don’t care about but maybe other people do.) I think I’m going to make some for my doctor and then I'll tell them that if he doesn't eat them, I will.  And then when he goes absolutely apeshit eating them I’ll call him a cow.  Ha.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I have to go celebrate my firstborn's 8th birthday with him on this, oh shoot, 81 degree afternoon.  EIGHTY ONE DEGREES!  I can never live anywhere with a real winter again.




*Maybe this wasn’t the healthiest eating day that’s ever been?


**Totally acceptable behavior on the eve of one’s birth.


***After I had two cookies, I did have those grapes, because woman cannot survive on chocolate cake and potato chip sandwiches and peanut butter bacon cookies alone.


****Um, If I had a secret service codename I would want it to be Danger Cookie.

Farewell Summer

Well, this is my last post as a woman of leisure.  I go back to school tomorrow, and I'm trying to muster up the motivation to redecorate an entire new classroom, do lesson plans, and face teenagers again.  The two months away have been just lovely (and, obviously, I'm ridiculously fortunate to have a job that provides such nice, long breaks), but right now the thought of being back in a classroom with thirty odd kids makes me want to whine and then sleep.  But by next Monday I'll be good and ready because, if for no other reason, I have no choice.

This summer has been fun and productive.  Matt's birthday celebration this weekend kind of doubled as a farewell to summer, and it couldn't have been nicer.  We went to see Midnight in Paris, which you should go see.  I'm trying to figure out a way to work it into my American Literature curriculum.  

After the movie we stopped by Saigon Bistro for lunch.  (Savannah folk, if you have not been to Saigon Bistro, you are really missing out.  It's cheap and delicious and fresh and awesome.)  Then it was off to the beach for the rest of the afternoon and evening.  The evening beach visit was Matt's birthday request, since we had so much fun doing the same thing last year.  And it was grand.  We really try not to take for granted the fact that we live so close to the beach, and that we can just go out there for a couple of hours when we feel like it.

Matt was happy as a clam all night.

"No, Matt, I'm not going to put these pictures on the internet." 

And then these pretty awesome clouds rolled in, and Matt and Collin were really taken with them. I've never heard people talk about clouds for so long, and with such fervor, as I did last night.  Then I think that Matt got annoyed with me because, while I thought the clouds were pretty great, I did not think they were so great as to merit a full 30-minute discussion of them.  Then I got annoyed that Matt was annoyed.  We finally decided to agree to disagree on the degree of the awesomeness of the clouds.  Oh, marriage.  (Also, maybe I would have found the clouds to be more extraordinary had I not bee the DD for the night?)

Matt stood there, basically having a religious experience staring at the clouds.

And then, when the clouds started to dump rain on us and Matt's hair began to stand up straight (like he'd rubbed it with a balloon), we decided it was high time that we head on up to Fannie's for dinner.  And then it was my turn to have a religious experience--with nachos.

Farewell, Summer!  Until we meet again!

Lucky #31, and Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

Hey, hey, party internet people.  Hope you're kicking off a weekend to remember.

Here at the always exciting M Cubed household, I've been savoring my last few days before I go back to work by trying to strike the perfect balance between being a lazy slob and getting small projects done.  Check and check.  Air filters changed, ceiling fans clean, walls cleaned with bleach.  Also, I just changed out of my pajamas.  Shoot yeah.

I needed to get all of that boring, crappy stuff done because tonight is the start of the birthday weekend of everyone's favorite Matt.

No, not this one.

Or this one. . .

Or even this one. . .

Or this one.  (Why are there so many awesome Matts?*)

Hell, even this Matt's got nothing on the one I married (except for maybe some mad footballs skillz.)

Nope.  It's this one, my favorite friend, master griller, voracious reader, dog dad, ellipting fool, super husband, and best laugher alive.  

It's this Matt's 31st birthday, and we're dedicating the weekend to all of his favorite things.  There will be delicious food, booze, lots of kisses (from dogs and wives alike--but not at the same time), and beach fun.  I can't think of a better way to end a summer and begin a new year.

Oh, and there will be cake.  This cake with chocolate cream cheese frosting**.  

Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

5 tablespoons milk

1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 oz. cream cheese

2-3 cups powdered sugar

Directions

Whip butter and cocoa powder together in a large bowl.  Slowly add milk.  Add vanilla extract and cream cheese and mix on high until mixture is smooth.  Slowly add powdered sugar until you reach desired sweetness and consistency.

*Way back when we first started dating, Matt and I had a joke (at least I think it was a joke) that we were only allowed to cheat on the other one with people of the same name.  So he could sleep with as many Mandys as he wanted, and I could have all the Matts that my heart desired.  I totally win in this fake being able to cheat deal.


**I have pretty much stopped making any other cake but this one because it is perfect and I never want to eat any other kind of cake ever again for my whole life.  Except for maybe some pumpkin cake in the fall.  And an occasional strawberry cake.  

Happy 5th Birthday, Iris!

Just wanted to wish a happy birthday to the funniest, most responsible, most neurotic, most fashionable five-year old on the planet.  Oh, and smart.  Did we mention smart?  Or, as Iris would say, cerebral.

Hope your birthday is full of kisses and cake and fun.  And new clothes and more cake.  And then, maybe, some more cake.  And then some shoes.  And dresses.

And then more cake.

Just remember, you don't get to drink wine until you're six.

xoxo, little lady

Happy Birthday to Mitchell!

I make no bones (HA!) about the fact that I am 100%, completely and totally in love with my Mitchell.  Any regular reader here knows that it's basically an unhealthy obsession. 

But, really?  Can you blame me?

So today we're celebrating the 7th birthday of the furry perfection who greets me at the door and snuggles with me in the big bed and on the couch, who licks my tears off of my face when I'm crying and who licks the sweat off of my legs after ellipting.  He's the best dish pre-washer this side of the Mississippi and he is the best protection against mailmen. 

But now I'll stop gushing because I need to go enjoy some post-walk snuggles with him.  (What?  75 degrees on Groundhog Day!  Looks like the universe wanted Mitchell Pancake Hedberg E-F to have a fun birthday, too!)

Here's how he's spent much of his birthday.

Refusing to wear the birthday hat I made for him.

Proving that age is only a number, bounding about the yard like a rodeo dog.

Finally acquiescing and wearing the hat.

And being rewarded with ice cream.

 Note the toasted coconut on his face.

I can't even believe that I've enjoyed seven years of this insane cuteness and my heart hasn't exploded.

Happy Birthday to Cris!

I realized not too long ago that we talk about Reilly (Mitch's best dog friend) all the time on the blog, but we never mention Reilly's mom, Cris.  And since today (Oct. 14) is Cris's birthday, it seems only appropriate that I take a few minutes to share with you just how incredible she is.

Cris was Matt's friend first.  She worked with Matt when we first moved to Savannah, seven years ago.   But I stole her.  She's my friend now. (I like to steal Matt's friends and keep them for myself.)  About five years ago Cris and I realized that we both needed a roommate, so we moved into a house together.  I'm pretty sure that all of our neighbors thought that we were lesbians (Particularly the old lady next door, Alma, who I'm pretty sure had sex with Elvis.  Remind me to tell you later about how Alma made me pick figs for her.).  Cris was a great roommate.  She's an even greater friend.

Cris is an actual counselor, and she's a great listener, and she gives great advice.  She's honest and loyal and smart and not afraid to stand up for what she believes is right.  She's open-minded and kind and caring. Cris is more dedicated--to her work, her friends, her family--than anyone I know.  For almost twenty years she's worked at a camp hosted by her church, Camp Moja,  a summer camp for people with developmental disabilities.  Cris is also super organized and adventurous, which means that she's always thinking about and planning her next adventure, whether it's UniverSOUL or kayaking or skydiving or attending random festivals or joining a fantasy football league. 

I think the only bad thing I can say about her is that she has terrible taste in movies.  (Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Cris?  Really?)

The cool thing about being friends with Cris is that it's fun regardless of what's happening.  Of course it's exciting to go to the soul circus, but it's just as fun to sit with her at Taco Bell and talk, or to wander around Target buying things we "need." 

[all pictures stolen from Cris's Facebook page]

It's cheesy to say, but Cris is one of those people who makes everyone around her better.  I'm so fortunate to have been able to steal her from Matt.

Happy birthday, lady!

Oh No, the Big 3-0!

As I've mentioned, we celebrated Matt's birthday this weekend.  Really, we'd been celebrating Matt's birthday since the last week of July, when his mom kicked off birthday month with awesome cast iron skillets and some vacation cash. 

And then Cassie showed up with an awesome grill pan for Matt last week.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd. . .that meant that every gift idea I'd had for Matt had been taken.  Matt's super hard to buy for.  He's not so much into having stuff, and certainly feels no need to have more than one of something.  It makes gift buying pretty tough, and I always end up telling other people the few ideas I have for him.  Shoot. 

Matt is, however, a big fan of fun experiences, and we already know that quality time is his love language.  So, for his birthday, we did a few things.

First, we spent Friday night hanging out at the beach with Collin, which was super fun.  Tybee is just such a fun, happy place.  We talked and laughed and passed judgment on the people who decided to feed the seagulls.  Then we ate at Fannie's on the Beach.  The whole evening was just delightful.

Saturday, which was Matt's actual birthday, was less fun since we both had to work.  We decided that we would make up for it on Sunday, which we did.

We started our Sunday birthday celebration by going to B. Matthews for brunch.  The restaurant had recently been featured in Food Network Magazine as having the best breakfast in Georgia.  It did not disappoint.  We ate and talked and just enjoyed the company of one another.  (Matt keeps telling me not to oversell the B. Matthews experience, but omigod, it was so good.  The food was so so so so so so so good and not even expensive.  We ate at 1:00 and weren't hungry again until 9:00, and I kind of want to go there every day this week to eat lunch.  So, it was. . .okay, I guess.)

Then we went shopping at Barnes and Noble (Matt's favorite store), and Fresh Market (Matt's other favorite store).  We took a family snuggle nap and sat around and watched True Blood and ate more delicious food and drank wine and sat at the kitchen table talking.  Today we continued the birthday celebration by going to see The Other Guys (very funny, by the way), taking another family snuggle nap (we're lazy), and making Kung Pao chicken for dinner (tasty!). 

I'm so happy to be kicking off this next decade of Matt's life with him.  I'm even more happy that he will be hitting these landmark birthdays months before I will.  It really softens the blow.

I was going to write a bunch of stuff here about how much I love him and how great he is and how happy I am with him, but I think I already made you puke a little with the two family snuggle naps.  

Vanilla Bean Birthday Cupcakes

Yesterday was Matt's birthday.  More on that later.  What I want to share with you right now is my new favorite cake, vanilla bean.

Last week Cassie brought Matt his awesome birthday gift, and brought a little prize for me, too: vanilla bean paste.  I'd been reading about vanilla bean paste and wanting to try it out, so it was almost like Cassie had been reading my mind (or looking over my shoulder as I browsed Amazon).  And suddenly, my baking hiatus ended.  And since it was Matt's birthday, I decided that I needed to make him some birthday cupcakes (even though Matt doesn't give a rat's ass about cupcakes).

I found this recipe for Vanilla Bean Cupcakes on Annie's Eats, and was immediately in love.  The 62 comments about how delicious the cake is further motivated me to get bakin'. 

And I made them, and they were phenomenal just like I knew they'd be.  Seriously, they had the best flavor and best texture of any vanilla cupcake I've ever tasted.  They have the beautiful little flecks of vanilla, and when paired with cream cheese icing, they basically just make you want to eat them until you explode.

After I finished the cupcakes, I put them on the cooling racks on the table in the Lagoon, and relaxed in the living room.  I talked to Cassie on the phone, and I watched the news (did you know that I'm a news junkie?).  While we chatted, I paced around the house.  I went into the Lagoon to admire my handiwork, and noticed something peculiar.  There just didn't seem to be as many cupcakes as there had been before.  There were supposed to be 23 (maybe one accidentally fell into my mouth?), but there were no longer 23.

There were only 17.

And I was at home alone, so at first I thought that there might be some kind of cupcake-thieving ghost, but then I realized that there was a more likely scenario.

MITCHELL!

I immediately ran to our bedroom to see what he'd done with them.  I shook the blanket on the bed, saw something fly out, and heard the thud of a single cupcake hitting the floor.  But there was only one cupcake buried in the bed.  MITCH ATE FIVE CUPCAKES, and saved one for later.

And then he ran around the house like a maniac for about an hour, barking and pouncing about.  Before long, he'd come down from his sugar high and just laid on the couch looking miserable.  (Have I mentioned on here that Mitch gained five pounds last year, and that we've been trying to limit how much people food he gets so that he'll remain at a healthy body weight?  I'm sure his little cupcake eating spree is really going to keep him from being a fat dog.)

Anyway, here's the recipe for Vanilla Bean Cupcakes, approved by humans and dogs alike.

Vanilla Bean Cupcakes (from Annie's Eats)

Ingredients:

3 cups cake flour

1 tbsp. baking powder

½ tsp. salt

1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise

16 tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature

2 cups sugar

5 large eggs, at room temperature

1¼ cups buttermilk, at room temperature

1 tbsp. vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350° F. Line two cupcake pans with paper liners. Set aside.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine the cake flour, baking powder and salt. Whisk together and set aside. Add the butter to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Scrape the vanilla bean seeds into the bowl of the mixer with the butter and discard the pod (or reserve for another use.) Beat on medium-high speed for 3 minutes, until light and creamy in color. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and beat for one more minute.

Add the sugar to the butter mixture, ¼ cup at a time, beating 1 minute after each addition. Mix in the eggs one at a time until incorporated. Scrape down the sides of the bowl after each addition. Combine the buttermilk and the vanilla extract in a liquid measuring cup. With the mixer on low speed, add the dry ingredients alternately with the wet ingredients, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients and mixing just until incorporated. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and mix for 15 seconds longer.

Divide the batter between the prepared paper liners, filling each about 2/3 of the way full (you will likely have batter left over after filling 24 wells.) Bake 18-22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow to cool in the pans 5-10 minutes, then transfer to a cooling rack to cool completely. Replace paper liners and bake remaining batter if desired. Frost cooled cupcakes as desired.

Yield: approximately 30 cupcakes

Happy Birthday to Cassie!

Happy birthday to Cassie, who is one of my favorite friends, who is loyal and smart and bitchy in a good way.  I know it sounds silly, but I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without her (and her Hugh) in it.

Cassie-nova, here's to a lovely year 27, and to many more years of friendship, fun, and wine.

**Oh, and Cassie, we'll do a belated birthday dinner for you when you come next week.  I've got a new recipe for tuna casserole that I've just been dying to try.

More Birthdays

Birthday wishes to two of my favorite girls: Opal (2) and the birth control pill (50!). 

Things here are both uneventful and busy.  My days lately have consisted of avoiding unpleasant household chores, baking, ellipting so that I can eat all of the baked goods, and watching Breaking Bad.  I need two productive days to get me back on top of things.  And then I can return to my slothful ways.

Twenty-eight more days with my darling ninth graders.  Hey, isn't that the same amount of time that people often spend in rehab?  Or does it have something to do with zombies?  I have a feeling I'll meet one of those outcomes by June 11. 

Okay, I now have two hours to bake some cookies, ellipt, shower, and fold all of the laundry in the house.  Want to take bets on how many of those tasks I'll actually complete?

 

Danielle!

Happy birthday to Danielle, who is also turning twenty-nine, but for the fourth time.

Not a month goes by that I don't have a dream that I'm back in Harrisonburg, working at BW3.  I really don't have a good explanation for my creepy recurring dream, except that the three years that I worked there were so formative.  When I started there, I was a nineteen-year-old kid who didn't drink, and was pretty wholesome by most accounts.  By the time I left three years later, such was not the case.  Not to mention, that job could be really stressful.  We got out at two a.m. at the earliest, and our shifts began at five.  Sure, it wasn't the hardest job of all time, and sure, we made buckets of money slinging wings and beer and Alabama Slammer shooters, but it was tough. 

The people who worked with me during that time were really influential, in part because I was the baby of the group, and I always felt like they were looking after me, and in part because they taught me so much about coming of age in Harrisonburg, Virginia. 

Danielle was the second person I met at BW3.  (The first was her then-boyfriend-now-husband Scott, who probably deserves a post all his own.)  She trained me, and I didn't like her that much.  I thought she was a bitch.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Well, kind of.  She can be a bitch when needed, but it's the good kind of bitch.  Let's just say she's assertive.

It didn't take long for me to realize that Danielle was actually quite cool.  She was an English major like me, she had an awesomely-raspy voice (I'd pay $200 to be able to trade voices with her), and she held a really great outlook on life.  And she's smart.  I love it when my friends are smart.

As the years progressed, Danielle and I became closer, and I always looked forward to shifts when I'd be working with her.  She even gave me a reason to hate karaoke less (We had karaoke 1-2 times a week, and it was excruciating, especially because our manager would play a game called "Kamikaze Karaoke," which basically meant that he would put our names in for songs that he chose, and then when our  name was called he would force us to go up and sing the surprise song.  Fun for the customers, awful for the employees.)  For some reason, Danielle and I decided that our favorite song was "Copacobana," and when we would step up to the mike to sing we knew it was our chance to get back at the karaoke regulars (a.k.a., high school chorus rejects) with our own ridiculous antics.



But my favorite Danielle memories are of enjoying the simple life outside of work: watching O Brother Where Art Thou? over and over again (he done R-U-N-N-O-F-T!), planning our future careers as backup whistlers (we're both REALLY good at whistling), trying to refine our handwriting with nice pens, and planning how we would be soccer moms together years later.  (Sorry, Danielle.  I really dropped the ball on that one.)

In many ways, I felt like Danielle was the big sister that I never had.  Looking back, I can see just how much she influenced me, with her casual outlook on life, with her candid honesty, and with her approach to relationships.  Danielle and Scott always impressed me with their relationship.  They were never overly kissy or gross, but it was clear whenever I was around them that they were deeply committed to one another, and that they didn't have to be sitting on each other's laps to prove that to the world.

When Scott told us that he'd bought a ring and was planning to propose, I was so excited for them.  I knew that they were a great team, and it made me happy to know that Scott and Danielle would be taking on the world together.

And I was excited to see what kind of kids they would spawn.  Fortunately, I wouldn't have to wait long.  About forty weeks to the day after they got married (And the wedding was pretty fun, from what I remember.  Sorry I fell off that chair, Danielle.  How did that bouquet even end up in my hand?) they had their first baby, Scotty (who we thought would be a girl but surprised everyone).

Danielle's really taken to being a mom.  She has two great kids (who, by the way, look like miniature versions of her and Scott) and a super cute pup, and she's thriving.

She has even fulfilled our long-term goal of being a soccer mom!

Even though I don't get to talk to her that often, when we do talk we're able to pick up right where we left off.  It seems that we can't talk for any less than two hours.  I've known Danielle for a decade, and I admire her and appreciate her more with each passing year.

Happy birthday, Danielle!  If I was up there, I'd make you these:

(I stole all of the pictures from Danielle's Facebook, because I do not have a scanner.  It's probably for the best.)