Showing posts with label the blast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the blast. Show all posts

19 December 2011

Dino-Brite!

So, like a year or so ago, I saw this little craft project on Martha Stewart and flipped out over its awesomeness.


I also figured that, assuming that I didn't use Martha's $2,000 canvas and her $95 paint, I could do this one on the cheap.  Originally, I wanted to put this in our living room on the mantle, so I painted it the color that I paint pretty much everything in our house these days: light turquoise.  I didn't know what design to do, and I figured that I wouldn't start the actual project until I knew for sure, until I had that "Oh, there you are, Peter" moment.

And then I got knocked up, and I decided that the grown-up lite brite didn't need to be grown-up at all, because it would be awesome as nursery decor, and could also function as a nightlight for little ole' Blast and for us.  So then I decided that it needed to be a shark.

But, after careful consideration, I decided that 1.) I needed to repaint the canvas because Blast's room is already light turquoise, and 2.) a shark might be too scary.  (Trying to use all of my allotted scaring-the-bab tokens for telling him about Krampus.)  So, after a very informal polling of friends, I decided to instead paint the canvas orange and to do a design that was even be better.  A DINOSAUR!

So here's how the process went.

1.  Paint canvas. (Using little sample thing of paint from Home Depot--$3)

2.  Borrow overhead projector from school.  (Def made it easier for me, but you could totes do this project without one.)

3.  Google "brontosaurus silhouette" and find this.


4.  Trace silhouette onto transparency.


5.  Pencil silhouette onto back of canvas.

Maybe next I should work on actually putting pictures in the frames in our gallery wall?

6.  Mark spots for lights to go through with a pencil.
7. Cut small slits into canvas with an exacto knife where lights would go.
8. Pop lights through spots.

And, voila!


I actually used button lights from Target, which worked perfectly for this project because of their size.  You can do it with regularly-sized lights, but you'll need to use craft glue or a glue gun to secure each light.  I would highly recommend using the button lights because they're not only much simpler, but you can also easily replace the strand if the strand goes kaput.

Also, you should know that it is really hard to get a good picture of the dino-brite, especially if you're impatient and hungry and wishing that you were lying on the couch watching Parenthood instead.  The dino-brite looks approximately 50 times better in person. Plus, it only cost like $15 to do, which makes me happy because I'm a cheaposaurus.

Mitch is also a big fan.


Now I kind of want to make a million of these, so I've been trying to think of other shapes and designs to do.  A bicycle!  A squirrel!  A snowflake!  A Mitch!

What else?  

16 November 2011

Movie Star

If you're interested, check out the little video of Blast from this week's appointment.  He starts opening his mouth around 1:40, which is my favorite.  Oh, and he's still a boy.  No Rachel situation here.



And if you're so inclined, check out his rabies-afflicted big brother barking at his bone on the bed.



Are you totally judging me for being the person who just put a video of her ultrasound on the internet?  Yeah, I kind of am, too.  In my defense, though. . .oh shoot, I've got nothing.  If I can't get drunk or ride roller coasters, though, I've got to do something to entertain myself.

14 November 2011

16 October 2011

Weekend Fun

What started off as a rocky weekend (What?  Dairy Queen is closed and I can't have a Blizzard?  Should we move to a house that is closer to a Dairy Queen or what?) turned out to be absolutely lovely and breezy.  We opened all of the windows and grilled and ellipted and watched too much TV.  I expanded The Blast's wardrobe by approximately 84 pieces.  (Girl across the street who has a little boy was having a yard sale and selling clothes for $.25/each.  And I got a pack n play for $5.  For the duration of the weekend, I sang the Subway "Five Dollar Footlong" song to Matt, substituting, of course, pack n play for footlong.  Matt has never been more excited to leave the house, methinks.)

I ate Taco Bell twice.  Why so good, Taco Bell?  Also, Matt says that if I were to go in for an ultrasound, the technician would be able to see a baby, and a chicken crunchwrap.*

I also pledged not to leave to house for most of the weekend, which meant that a bunch of those annoying little house projects that I've needed to do are getting done, and it means that I'm really feeling a deep connection with my Brothers & Sisters.  

Here's what it looked like.

Now I need to find a matching one for Mitch. 

 Reilly came to visit and to protect us from yard sale customers.




Mitch got some help with his chores.


 Clothesplosion!

 Wondering why we have all of these clothes when his father has strictly forbidden him from wearing clothes.



 As close as I could come to a Blizzard without putting in much effort.

With the guidance of a Shecky over the phone, finally cleaned out the linen closet. 
 Reilly votes that we keep the green blankets.

Now we've got to go see what's going on with that sexpot Nucky Thompson.  Happy week to you!


*Sidenote: Wouldn't it be cool if one of those baby websites would tell you how big your baby is by comparing its size to that of a fast food item?  "This week your baby is as big as a taco!"

14 October 2011

First Impressions

So, The Blast, who I just picture now to look like this--


--well, he can hear us now.  That is freaky.  It's troublesome, too, because this has been one of those weeks--those grumpy, cranky, squinty mean faces all day weeks--at school where I might not have been talking in my nicest sweetest voice.

In short, the baby already thinks I'm a bitch.  Either that, or it thinks that its mom is Sissy Spacek because my ninth graders have been listening to To Kill a Mockingbird.  Shoot.

So this weekend I'm going to work on being nicer and less cranky.  Or at least recording myself saying nice and encouraging things so that I can get some stomach headphones and feed him happy thoughts.  This weekend there will be open windows and two dogs and maybe a little bit of shopping and cake.  There had better be cake, or I'm bringing back my bitch voice.

Hope your weekend is full of happiness and cake!


****Baby, if you are reading this far, far in the future.  First impressions are really important.  I am kind of a bitch, which you probably know already.  Never date a girl who's not at least a little bit of a bitch.  Also, don't use the word bitch unless you're over 13.****


26 September 2011

It's a _____!

So, remember how I told you the baby was massive?

Well, last week when we were at our ultrasound, at 12 weeks and 5 days for you detail-oriented folk, Blast was measuring ten days ahead, and I made the comment to Matt that if it was going to be that big, then I hoped it was a boy because I would feel guilty bringing some kind of amazon girl into the world.

And the ultrasound lady--who is amazing, by the way--just whipped her magic little noise wand around and said, "Well, there you go, then."  (Also, she had a pretty thick Southern accent.)  "Oh yeah, there you've got a little penis, and a scrotum. . .Oh, I'm gonna go ahead and call this one."  And then she typed in "It's a boy!!!!"*

Well, I'll be damned!

Cassie spelled out boy on the cake with nuts.  He he he.

Here's the part where I would put up a picture of the goods, but Matt says we shouldn't put that on the internet, and I think that's probably just good life advice.  So here's a picture I stole from the internet instead of a whale and some words.


Anyway, it's a boy.  A giant, hulking boy.  Matt's excited to take him camping and to talk to him about nerdy boy stuff like comic books and Dungeons and Dragons and sports.  I'm excited because I don't have to worry about him getting pregnant or becoming a stripper.




*Truth?  I initially wanted a girl because I have a certain fondness for bitchy older sisters, but when I found out it was a boy I was nothing but happy and excited.  And now, whenever I see a bitchy teenage girl, I just think about how lucky I am to be having a boy.  Plus, our first-born is a boy, so I feel like I know what I'm doing a little more with males.


******Baby, if you are reading this far, far in the future.  I hope you did not become pregnant unless it was part of a really awesome scientific experiment.  Also, be glad that you don't have parents who put naked pictures of you on the internet.  Those people are called child pornographers.******

25 September 2011

Weekend Fun

What a fun couple of days it's been!  Even though the weather was a little more thunderstormy than my favorite pup would like, it's been just lovely and cozy inside.  I'm still trying to fight off the lingering effects of this, the cold from hell, so maybe I drank a couple of gallons of Simply Grapefruit juice?  But it doesn't matter because we had laughs, and bolognese in the freezer, and new fall TV to watch, and good shopping scores, and friends, and a clean house, and enough motivation to knock out a huge stack of essays that absolutely had to be graded by Monday morning.  The laundry's done, the floors are as clean as they're going to be, considering that it's storming outside (and I absolutely refuse to mop when it's raining), the papers graded, and the fridge is full of restaurant leftovers.

Oh, and the Buffalo Bills beat the Patriots, which hasn't happened, apparently, since before the Civil War.  It is, in our household, a VERY BIG DEAL and my husband will tell you over and over again just how big a deal it is.  Oh, and I'm winning my fantasy football league (a league that I've done absolutely nothing for except for check to see if I'm winning--thank you super fantasy football husband!).  

Here's what it looked like.



Raining while the sun is shining.  You know what that means, right?  The devil is beating his wife.  
By the way, who would even marry the devil? 


Getting nervous. 


 At this point I was pretty sure the Bills were going to choke and that Matt was going to be in a 
bad mood for the rest of the night.


Would you look at that?  Pretty cold in hell right now. 

 Most hilarious gang tag vandalism thing.  Oh, you thought it was about lemon and lime?  Well, you were wrong.  
This one's all about hatred and bitterness.

The happiest Bills fan.

Sweet baby gifts from a friend.  Mitch is pretty sure he's going to steal that elephant when the time is right.

Right now I'm off to ellipt whilst watching Amazing Race, and Breaking Bad.  I love fall TV!  I do not love crazy dreams where I am involved with the drug cartel and accidentally to blame for lots of deaths and/or murders.  More on that later.  I blame The Blast.

Happy fall to you!  

22 September 2011

This and That: The With Child Edition

I totes promise that not every post is going to be about this stuff, but I haven't been able to talk about it for two months, so I've got some things to share, some questions to answer.

1.  At first, I was really afraid to sneeze because I thought I'd sneeze out The Blast.  I'm starting to get less afraid of that now.

2.  I really, really, really miss wine and margaritas.  Maybe that makes me a big ol' lush, but I don't care.  When Matt gets a margarita when we go to Mexico, I just huff it and pretend that I am feeling its leg tingling effects.  Then I look down and say something sweet and maternal through gritted teeth along the lines of, "You had better be so smart and so cute."

See you in April, old friend.

3.  Oh, I'm 13 weeks along.  Blast is due on March 28, which is the day after my birthday.  I'm really selfishly afraid that it's going to steal my birthday.  I am shooting for an April 1 birthday because I think that would make for fun future birthday parties, and because I want my birthday to come first.  Also, no, this is not one long joke.

4.  I haven't had morning sickness at all, and I'm hoping that I'm in the clear on that one.  I have been tired as a mofo, but that's pretty much how I am anyway, so it hasn't been all that different.  Oh, and food cravings, I have those, too.  But, again, kind of like me in non-pregnant form.  Crying easily?  Duh.  So, yeah, basically I have spent my entire adult life pregnant in the first trimester, except that I could drink wine and jump on trampolines and go in hot tubs and do street drugs.*

5.  Sometimes it just seems boring to only have a chance of having a boy or a girl.  What if it could be a polar bear, or a cheetah, or an American Dingo??!!  Matt says that would actually suck because then you'd run the risk that it could be a cockroach or something gross like that.  He kind of has a point there.  But what about an elephant?  Nope--too long without wine.  Human boy or girl will be fine, I suppose.

6.  Our office room looks like a baby store!  More on that later.  By the way, they make so much crap for babies.  It's really overwhelming.

7.  Yes, we're hoping that Mitch doesn't eat it.


8.  The name will not start with an M.  Our name alliteration was unintentional, and I'm nervous about people thinking we're like the Duggars or something.  And, unfortunately, we're probably not going with any WTF initials, even though that would be SO AWESOME.  Wouldn't you love it if you could initial things WTF? Or get monogrammed towels that said WTF?  Amazing.  Maybe we'll have to rethink that one?

9.  I don't know if we'll change the name of the blog or not.  Can I just add a plus to it and make it like an equation or something?  I don't know, though.  I'm not very mathy.  If you've got ideas, let me know.

10.  Got an ultrasound at 10 weeks and thought that perhaps I was growing a young Voldemort.


11.  This kid is huge.  Huge, I tell you!  I'm really afraid of giant babies because I watched my mom birth my 10 pound 14 ounce brother at some hippie natural birthing center when I was 4.  I've always known that there was a chance that I would have a giant, Weekly World News kind of kid, which is one of the many reasons I resisted this whole pregnant thing for so long.  At our first appointment, Blast measured 4 days ahead.  At the second, 5.  At the latest appointment, Blast was measuring 10 days ahead, which is, well, huge.  So maybe it's not a Voldemort so much as it's a Hagrid?

And with all that said, we couldn't be happier, and we can't wait to meet and then groom a little human to be way more awesome than either of its parents.


*One of the lists of what I couldn't eat or drink or do now mentioned that I should be avoiding street drugs.  Oh, shoot.  No more angel dust for me, I suppose.**


**That is a joke.  I only do heroin.***


***Also a joke.

21 September 2011

Human Reproduction

Oh, internet.  We've totally been holding out on you.

This spring, Matt and I are going to have a human.  A giant, giant, hot dog and macaroni and cheese eating human.  Well, we'll both have it in terms of ownership.  I'm the one who actually has to birth it have it, though.  (Cue freaked out face.)

For real.  I know.  I can hardly believe it, either.

But check out the inside of my uterus.  Here's our little Blast (short for blastocyst, which it really is no longer, but we like the moniker).


We're super excited about our little spawn.  Our first-born is less excited, but he'll come around.

Freaky, huh?

*Offspring who is reading this far, far in the future: guess I have to start being a little more careful about what I post on here now, huh?

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