Less Than Gandhi.

Here's something you might not know: Matt is smart.  He's like sickeningly, ridiculously smart.  He reads like fifty books to my one, and he's rational and insightful and seems to know, well, everything.  And if he doesn't know it, he goes and reads a whole book about it and then knows it.  He can even do math!  I, on the other hand, fall asleep after reading one article in Entertainment Weekly, am occasionally lacking in the rational thinking department, and was told by my college advisor that my "math scores reflect the English major in [me]."  Shoot.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm thrilled to have a smart husband, and I really like it when I can just ask him about something (Arab Spring?) and he can explain it in a way that I can easily understand it (because he's basically Mama to my Forrest Gump).  But sometimes it's annoying to always be the dumb one, or to only be able to contribute to trivia contests if the category is 90210 or cities that have hosted the Olympics.

So Matt knows everything, which is simultaneously fantastic and annoying.  When he was a kid, though, he took an IQ test (which I may have already mentioned here at some point), but he never received a definitive score because while he was off the charts on everything linguistic and rational and whatnot, when it came to anything spatial he scored slightly lower than Mitch would.

Matt doesn't understand shapes.

Anyway, last night we were creepin' on Chloe's Facebook page--oh wait! Time for some awesome pictures lifted from her page--

Hufflepuff.

--and Matt saw an old status of hers that said, "i <3 gandhi."  Matt was confused.

Matt:  I less than three Gandhi?  Chloe is less than three Gandhis?

Idiot.

Monday Already?

Why is it that Mondays and Tuesdays never seem to jet by the way that Saturdays and Sundays do?

Hope your weekend was great. Ours was relaxing and delicious. We ate bolognese Friday (and Saturday, and Sunday) and fajitas, both of which I'd highly recommend. And, somehow, neither are all that bad for you, which is nice.

Here are some random musings to take your mind off of actual important things:

1. Pioneer Woman's Dog Photos contest. You can either check out the Flickr page and thumb through 35,o00 pictures, or look at her selections. Here are just a few to wet your nose.

The pictures are gorgeous and capture everything that's wonderful about dogs. (They also make me want to pull out every dime we have in savings and blow it all on a new camera and some photo skills.) I guess it's time for me to implant more puppy embryos into my uterus. Maybe I can just sell my story, "THE WOMAN WHO BIRTHED PUPPIES," to the media, and then use that money to buy a new camera.

2. I love love love the fat rubber bands that come on broccoli. They're the BEST for holding together stacks of index cards. Nothing's more annoying than a crappy rubber band.

3. The Olympics and, more specifically, hockey. I'm not really into sports or the Olympics or anything, but Jordan and I did watch D2: The Mighty Ducks about one thousand times during the 1990's. We basically alternated between that and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. Oh, the good old days before Netflix and the internet and OnDemand. Anyway, all of my hockey-related knowledge comes from D2, so today while Matt watched the USA v. Canada, I lounged on the couch playing solitaire on my phone and yelling at the tv: "DO THE FLYING V! YOU'VE GOTTA DO THE FLYING V!" And then Matt said that the Flying V was stupid, and then I divorced him. Yeah, who knows more about hockey? Matt? Or Emilio Estevez? The Ducks did win the Junior Olympics, after all. Stupid Matt.

4. Matt's Amazing Race cowboy team is growing on me, but it does seem like the game is fixed. Make it a little more obvious that you want Jet and Cord to win, why don't you, Amazing Race Producers? A lasso throwing Road Block? Come on!

5. I've been on a healthy eating/exercising regularly kick lately. I've been using Daily Plate to monitor calorie intake, and ellipting regularly. I love it for many reasons (the sleep, the feeling good, having more energy, remembering that I actually do like healthy food, finding my self control again), but I can't stop fantasizing about baked goods. Last week I was so haunted by the Girl Scout Samoas in the refrigerator that I finally just succumbed, shoving ten cookies in my mouth. And I've spent more time thinking about how to make the perfect Trix cereal cupcake than I've spent thinking about anything else in my life. Pathetic. How much is liposuction?

6. Undercover Celebrity Boss. Thanks, SNL. I especially like Martha Stewart.

Little of this, little of that. . .

Still not much happening here in the SAV. Here's what I've got:

• A glimpse of our Friday night.

• Am I the only person in the world who doesn't care about Tiger Woods and his "addiction"?
• Am I the only person in the world who doesn't care about the Winter Olympics? I'd much rather have new episdoes of 30 Rock and The Office.
• I'm ready for spring. I'm also ready for mid-June. Sixteen more weeks of school! Wooo-hooo!
• Dear Comcast: it'd be really nice if the internet that we pay lots of money for would actually work. Love, Mandy.
• We ordered Omaha Steaks for Matt's parents for Christmas 2008. Omaha Steaks has called me almost every single day since trying to get me to order more. Guess who's never ordering Omaha Steaks ever (ever!) again?
• Is it really time to do laundry again? Didn't I just do all the laundry?
• I hope everyone in the world is watching Modern Family.
• I've been trying to be back on healthy eating lately, and I've been doing pretty well. (Had doctor appointment, got weighed, realized that I weigh as much as three people put together should weigh. Immediately began to monitor food intake and ellipt like crazy.) So I've been meticulously entering my food into Daily Plate, and exercising. And then what happens? Matt comes home last night with Girl Scout cookies--three boxes. Three boxes! Three boxes that I ordered about a month ago. Dammit! Damn you cookies! Why do you taste so good? Maybe I should just eat cookies while ellipting?

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!