This and That

Well, it's only Monday and my brain is pretty much fried.  Mother F.  (Oh, man, I just realized that if I ever had a kid I could get people to call me Mother F!  Yesssssssssssss!)

This cat cracks me up.

But here's what's happening.

1. Right now I smell something bad and I don't know if it is the dog or my feet.  Maybe both?  Wait, I just pulled my foot up to my nose.  It was the dog.  Sadly, that's kind of a relief.
2. I don't care that Taco Bell's beef is not 100% ground organic true beef from some sort of magical talking cow.  Was anyone out there under the impression that their tacos and crunchwraps were all-natural or good for you?  I know that I go to Taco Bell when I want cheese that's squeezed from the same thing that caulk is squeezed from, and when I want bad service from people who are too dumb and too rude to get a job anywhere else.  When I want fancy, I'll go to an actual Mexican restaurant, or to Wendy's.
3. Oh, hey!  I just had a really good idea.  Taco Bell should serve margaritas.  No?  Not a good idea?  Shoot.
4. Matt finally got the HDMI cable to work on our tv and seeing news people's faces that up close and personal is kind of freaking me out.  I think I'll just squint my eyes from now on when we watch Hardball.*
5. I made the most delicious treat this weekend, a treat that I've been plotting for months (no, seriously) and that I can't wait to share with you.  It'll have to happen in stages, because it contains that much awesomepants awesomeness.  Put on your elastic pants and get ready, friends, because this one is just that good.

Okay, well, I'm going to go watch Jeopardy! with Matt.  (Read: yell out the answers .10 seconds after he yells them out just to annoy him.  Ha!)

*Oh, and no, I'm not drunk, but I kind of wish I was.

Stinkin' Up the Joint.

 

I love Mitch.

Did you know that?

Yeah, I love him.  I really, really love him.  I love his crooked ears and his fuzzy tail and his singing ability and his mouthiness.

I do not love his latest, shall we say, idiosyncrasy.

Mitch has gas.

Bad gas.

Last night I had fallen asleep on the couch, only to have the worst smell of all time tear me from my slumber.  I was freaking out, demanding that Matt help me find the steaming pile of shit that was somewhere in our house.  The smell was just SO AWFUL. 

But there was no steaming pile of shit.  There was just a farting dog.  A really cute, really sweet, REALLY stinky dog.  It's been so bad that today I had to open all of the windows (fortunately, it was gorgeous outside) and spray a bunch of black raspberry vanilla room spray all over the house.  So then the house smelled like black raspberry vanilla room spray and dog farts.  Fantastic.

And I feel really bad for the pup, because to produce such a god-awful stench, there must be some discomfort inside his little dog body.  From what I've learned from the internet, the cause of the gas could basically be anything.  Most likely, the cause is our allowing him to lick the plates after taco night on Wednesday.  Let me say it first: I am a terrible mother.**

Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone out there has home remedies for dog flatulence.  I'll make a big pot of chili and some burritos for anyone who can tell me how to get this dog to stop stinkin' up the joint.

Can I give him beano?

(It'll be a while before I'll be using Mitch as a nap pillow, that's for sure.)

**If the insane flatulence continues, Mr. Mitch will be visiting his vet on Monday morning to make sure it's not something serious. 

Wedding Gift Idea!

Is this for real? 



I think that this blanket paired with a nice gift card to a Mexican restaurant would make for an incredible wedding/engagement gift. 

Henne Family Hoax?

Crazy Henne dad, you owe me two hours of my life!

Also, I might have to steal Falcon.

Also, the mom farts 44 seconds in. Watch the reactions of the other two boys.