Our dryer broke again, which meant that I had to call a guy to repair it. The repair guy happened to be African American, which sent my racist dog into a 2-hour long frenzy. The dryer guy laughed and said "serve and protect, huh?" to which I just uncomfortably giggled, completely embarrassed by my bigot of a dog.
Later that night, while Mitch was outside lying in his dirt spot, an evil murdering tree frog broke into our house. I saw it on the door frame and thought that it was a leaf or something, so I tried to rub it off with my toe. And then when the frog jumped on my foot, into the kitchen, and began to crawl up my refrigerator with its long murderin' poison legs, I screamed like I'd just seen the Trinity killer in my bathroom. I screamed and screamed some more as the frog decided to stalk me from between the refrigerator and freezer doors. It even whispered "You're gonna die, lady" in a scary Southern accent.
What did the dog do? Did he hear his mother, the woman who birthed him from her body, screaming hysterically and facing death and then run to her rescue? Did he kill the frog? Did he call the police? Did he even bother to get up out of his dirt spot?
No.
Serve and protect, my ass.
He is a Tea Party republican, after all.
Later that night, while Mitch was outside lying in his dirt spot, an evil murdering tree frog broke into our house. I saw it on the door frame and thought that it was a leaf or something, so I tried to rub it off with my toe. And then when the frog jumped on my foot, into the kitchen, and began to crawl up my refrigerator with its long murderin' poison legs, I screamed like I'd just seen the Trinity killer in my bathroom. I screamed and screamed some more as the frog decided to stalk me from between the refrigerator and freezer doors. It even whispered "You're gonna die, lady" in a scary Southern accent.
What did the dog do? Did he hear his mother, the woman who birthed him from her body, screaming hysterically and facing death and then run to her rescue? Did he kill the frog? Did he call the police? Did he even bother to get up out of his dirt spot?
No.
Serve and protect, my ass.
Posts
It's at least 24 hours later, has the poison kicked in? I've been worried/laughing all day, but mostly worrying. :)
ReplyDelete