When back when, in, oh, April, when I was deep in the throes of newborn baby hell and recovery and post-partum depression, I had a conversation with Shecky during which I insisted that I was NEVER doing this again and I hated it and it was the worst and if I ever even so much as floated the idea of having another baby she was to drive down to Georgia to murder me.*
That newborn period was not my favorite, to put it mildly. After spending [basically] a year being pregnant and having my body not be my own, and then birthing a human (which hurt really badly, by the way) and then having my little screaming tapeworm attached to my body for 10 hours a day nursing, I was done. The thought that I would have to do it all again, that I would have to spend another 2 years (I exaggerate a little bit in my head) sacrificing my body and sanity to grow and feed another one of these creatures, was enough to send me into a hysterical crying fit. But then I had a crazy-but-maybe-not-as-crazy-as-it-seemed-at-first idea. Multitasking. What if I just got myself knocked up again right away?
I mean, shoot. My body already didn't belong to me while nursing, so what if I just got pregnant during that time so that I could cut down on the number of years that my body wasn't mine? A little nuts, sure, but would it maybe just maybe cut down on the months of misery and still end up with us having the two kids we'd always planned for? But instead of them being two years apart they'd be one? Could that work?
So then one day I mentioned my silly thought to Matt, who thought it made sense. And then we talked about it and talked about it and talked about it and decided that for our family this was actually the best decision. We fell in love with the idea of Charlie having a sibling just a year younger than him, and we both agreed that we were more of the "get it all over with" types than the "drag that shit out" types. Like, when I waited tables and would work double shifts, I always preferred to work straight through rather than to have a 2 or 3 hour break between shifts (that basically just became 2 or 3 hours of me sitting around dreading to return to work). Perhaps pregnancy and having a tiny baby might be the same kind of thing? Hell, given more time to think about (dread) being pregnant again and then having a newborn again, I might decide that Charlie would indeed be an only child, and then he could end up self-centered and weird (sorry to all of the only children I just offended). So, after many hours of discussion and weighing of the pros and cons of our loony plan, we decided to jump off a cliff.
We know that it's going to be hard, and we figure that there are going to be two periods that are especially difficult for us. The first is pretty much over, which was the exhausting first trimester compounded with having a 5 or 6-month old at home at the beginning of the [most awful yet] school year. Talk about tired and stressful! I've pretty much weathered and come through that first trimester insane exhaustion at this point (but not without a handful of tired 6-year old meltdown tantrums) and it feels like we're in an upswing right now. The second very hard part will be longer and harder, and will probably extend from about March until this time next year. It's going to be hella hard. We know. But we're a little more baby savvy now and have a little more perspective, and we'll probably take people up more often on their offers to help. But then! Then that very hardest part will be past us, and every morning after April I will enjoy a breakfast of a cold turkey sandwich, a raw egg, and a margarita.
*I reminded her the other day that she's a disobedient friend. Shecky said she's just waiting until it'll be a surprise. Oh, crap.
On the day I took this picture, I ugly cried for approximately 75 hours. The only thing that kept the boy from screaming was lying on the washer during the spin cycle. And the only thing that brought me any relief was the dozen doughnuts I got from Krispy Kreme, when I scared the bejeezus out of the very nice cashier boy with my ugly tears.
I mean, shoot. My body already didn't belong to me while nursing, so what if I just got pregnant during that time so that I could cut down on the number of years that my body wasn't mine? A little nuts, sure, but would it maybe just maybe cut down on the months of misery and still end up with us having the two kids we'd always planned for? But instead of them being two years apart they'd be one? Could that work?
So then one day I mentioned my silly thought to Matt, who thought it made sense. And then we talked about it and talked about it and talked about it and decided that for our family this was actually the best decision. We fell in love with the idea of Charlie having a sibling just a year younger than him, and we both agreed that we were more of the "get it all over with" types than the "drag that shit out" types. Like, when I waited tables and would work double shifts, I always preferred to work straight through rather than to have a 2 or 3 hour break between shifts (that basically just became 2 or 3 hours of me sitting around dreading to return to work). Perhaps pregnancy and having a tiny baby might be the same kind of thing? Hell, given more time to think about (dread) being pregnant again and then having a newborn again, I might decide that Charlie would indeed be an only child, and then he could end up self-centered and weird (sorry to all of the only children I just offended). So, after many hours of discussion and weighing of the pros and cons of our loony plan, we decided to jump off a cliff.
We know that it's going to be hard, and we figure that there are going to be two periods that are especially difficult for us. The first is pretty much over, which was the exhausting first trimester compounded with having a 5 or 6-month old at home at the beginning of the [most awful yet] school year. Talk about tired and stressful! I've pretty much weathered and come through that first trimester insane exhaustion at this point (but not without a handful of tired 6-year old meltdown tantrums) and it feels like we're in an upswing right now. The second very hard part will be longer and harder, and will probably extend from about March until this time next year. It's going to be hella hard. We know. But we're a little more baby savvy now and have a little more perspective, and we'll probably take people up more often on their offers to help. But then! Then that very hardest part will be past us, and every morning after April I will enjoy a breakfast of a cold turkey sandwich, a raw egg, and a margarita.
*I reminded her the other day that she's a disobedient friend. Shecky said she's just waiting until it'll be a surprise. Oh, crap.
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P.S. - I always keep my promimes, so look out. . .
ReplyDelete-Shecky
OK - that was supposed to be promises. Not promimes. Though that may sound cuter (I am all over the English language today. . . )
ReplyDelete-Shecks
M cubed C squared?
ReplyDeleteGood luck you guys! You two definitely have the support, good humor and badassity required for such an undertaking. and, I might be only pseudo employed again in April, so if you need any help from experienced nanny-tech, don't hesitate to holla! Plus, like, I wanna check out Savannah real bad :) Congrats on the new Baby F!
ReplyDelete