Love and Marriage

[While watching an episode of The Amazing Race, during which the teams went to Tanzania.]

Mandy: Oh, is this where The Lion King was filmed?

Matt: Yes.  The Lion King was filmed on location.

Weekend Fun

What a fun couple of days it's been!  Even though the weather was a little more thunderstormy than my favorite pup would like, it's been just lovely and cozy inside.  I'm still trying to fight off the lingering effects of this, the cold from hell, so maybe I drank a couple of gallons of Simply Grapefruit juice?  But it doesn't matter because we had laughs, and bolognese in the freezer, and new fall TV to watch, and good shopping scores, and friends, and a clean house, and enough motivation to knock out a huge stack of essays that absolutely had to be graded by Monday morning.  The laundry's done, the floors are as clean as they're going to be, considering that it's storming outside (and I absolutely refuse to mop when it's raining), the papers graded, and the fridge is full of restaurant leftovers.

Oh, and the Buffalo Bills beat the Patriots, which hasn't happened, apparently, since before the Civil War.  It is, in our household, a VERY BIG DEAL and my husband will tell you over and over again just how big a deal it is.  Oh, and I'm winning my fantasy football league (a league that I've done absolutely nothing for except for check to see if I'm winning--thank you super fantasy football husband!).  

Here's what it looked like.

Raining while the sun is shining.  You know what that means, right?  The devil is beating his wife.  

By the way, who would even marry the devil? 

Getting nervous. 

 At this point I was pretty sure the Bills were going to choke and that Matt was going to be in a 

bad mood for the rest of the night.

Would you look at that?  Pretty cold in hell right now. 

 Most hilarious gang tag vandalism thing.  Oh, you thought it was about lemon and lime?  Well, you were wrong.  

This one's all about hatred and bitterness.

The happiest Bills fan.

Sweet baby gifts from a friend.  Mitch is pretty sure he's going to steal that elephant when the time is right.

Right now I'm off to ellipt whilst watching Amazing Race, and Breaking Bad.  I love fall TV!  I do not love crazy dreams where I am involved with the drug cartel and accidentally to blame for lots of deaths and/or murders.  More on that later.  I blame The Blast.

Happy fall to you!  

This and That

Oh man.  Nothing is going on here.  Oh, wait.  Yes it is.  We got a new elliptical and I had to fight and be bitchy on the phone and then finally drive across town to finally get it.  (F you, super saver free shpping!)  But pretty much next time you see me I'll be super skinny.

And here's the thing.  The world is all important right now, all full of natural disasters and dead terrorists and whatnot.  And because that's all so very important, I feel like I shouldn't bother you with the mundane happenings of everyday life.  Except that you're probably bored with hearing about dead terrorists and natural disasters, so maybe you just want to hear about mundane day-to-day crap.

So here it is.

1. I have five and a half weeks of school left until summer.  I will be very happy when that summertime school-ending day arrives (totes forget when it is--June something or other).  There will be dancing and singing and wine.  And then I'm going to catch up on Brothers & Sisters whilst ellipting.

2.  I loved the White House Correspondents' Dinner.  I also, unabashedly, love Barack Obama with my heart and soul.  And it's not like I agree with him about everything*, but he's just got that winning smile and fantastic sense of humor.  If you've got the time and you can watch it (and if you haven't already because it totally got buried in the other, more significant, news of the days), you need to.  Also, Seth Meyers is the next big thing.  I've been saying this for eight years.



3.  I got an awesome new necklace when I was visiting Grandma and Grandpa in Albuquerque, and I'm completely in love with it.  Isn't it just the most fun?

4.  If Justin and Zev don't win this season of The Amazing Race, I'll never watch that show again.  Never!

\
                                                                                           Zev is wearing Matt's favorite shirt.

Well, I just realized that it's 1:11 a.m. (which is almost as cool as 11:11), and I have to be at work in six hours and 19 minutes.  Shoooooot.

Hope you have a glorious Wednesday, and that it's wonderfully ordinary.



*Don't agree with Matt about everything, either, and I married him.

This and That

1.  Will someone please let all of the teenage girls know that slipper booties are not shoes, and are not appropriate footwear for going out in public?

2.  We got our Christmas tree tonight!  And there was some guy with a French accent who was trimming our tree who gave me greenery (probably because I was basically dressed like a Who from Whoville and was whistling Christmas carols).  I overestimated how much greenery I would need to put on the mantle, and now we basically have two Christmas trees.  But I'm learning to make wreaths, and perhaps some of the bough things that people put above doorways.  We'll see how that goes.  Even if they're ugly, at least the house will smell delightful.

3.  It's fancy dinner night here at M Cubed.  Shake 'n Bake, canned corn, and Uncle Ben's rice.  And you know what?  It's going to be delicious.  So what if we feel horribly inferior while watching tonight's Top Chef All Stars?  We already feel inferior while watching it (go Richard Blais!).

4.  My students were being really chatty today, so to punish them, I blasted the soundtrack to The Nutcracker.  That'll show 'em!

5.  Hoping that one of the all-female teams wins Amazing Race on Sunday.  I'm secretly rooting for a Brooke and Claire win, since Claire had to endure not only the most grueling of challenges, but also the watermelon face smash.  Also, what was with all of the douchey guys on this season?

6.  Also, today at school, my ninth graders and I were talking about people who had big ears (yeah, pretty tough to stay on track lately).  One of my boys mentioned that Martha Stewart has big ears, and I got a little defensive and was all "No she doesn't."  But he insisted, so we did some Google image searching and, wouldn't you know it, she's got some gigantic ears.  How weird!  (I think she always covers them up with her hair.)  But then I used our Martha Stewart conversation to teach the students about insider trading.  Teachable moments, people! 

7.  Get here, new camera!

8.  Get here, Christmas break!

What We're Watching

Matt and I are unapologetic TV addicts.  Fortunately for us, the quality of television shows has increased tremendously in the last decade or so, so we can be entertained by smart, beautiful programming.  And then, of course, there's Teen Mom.

Anyway, here's what we've been watching lately:

1.  Football.  This one's more Matt than me.  He watches and I provide commentary.  For example, when one of the refs threw a flag during the Bills game this afternoon, I hollered, "Ooooooh, someone's in trouble!"  Then I fell asleep for four hours.  Oh well.

[source]

2.  Boardwalk Empire.  Ooh, what a pretty and smart show!  We are both really enjoying the glimpse into Atlantic City during prohibition.  Martin Scorcese and HBO?  Yes, please.  We're an episode behind, though, because every time we go to watch it I fall asleep.  Oops.  (Also, don't make old timey Omar kill your ass.)

3.  The Office.  The new season of this old favorite has had a really strong start.  I think my favorite little storyline so far has been Pam creating herself an entirely new position.  I just got caught up with The Office because I'd fallen asleep during last week's episode.  Does anyone else think that I might have narcolepsy?

4.  30 Rock.  Another strong start to a season!  There's a special place in my heart for 30 Rock, and I'm still working on getting Matt to dress up as Werewolf Bar Mitzvah for Halloween.  I think the only way I'll get him to do it is to get in a big fight with him that is his fault, and to cry and then say that the only way he can make it up to me is to dress up for Halloween. 

5.  Modern Family.  This might just be my favorite show.  And while all of the characters are wonderful, I think Phil might just be my favorite.  (He's the most like Ross Gellar, I've decided.)

6. Amazing Race.  Even though this season's teams are pretty crappy, we're still watching.  I wish I'd chosen Kev Jumba and his dad, though.  I also wish there was a watermelon face smash on every episode!

7.  Teen Mom.  We've talked about this one a lot, and it's simultaneously the best and worst thing on TV right now.  I can't believe that the next episode is going to be the season finale!  Matt would like to point out that he does not watch this show, because he is above trash like this and prefers high brow entertainment, which you will discover with item number 10.

8.  The News.  I'm a little bit of a news junkie.  My favorite news show is Rachel Maddow.  Watching her show is educational and entertaining, and she's not a maniacal idealogue like some other hosts.  And she has Kent, and she's really tall, so that's good.

9.  Glee.  Just kidding.  We stopped watching that in the middle of last season.  I just couldn't make myself care anymore.

10.  Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  This season takes place in Prague, and the elimination battles happen in the "Gulag". As in, Brandon and Derrick will be facing off in The Gulag. WTF?  What's the next season going to be?  The Challenge: Auschwitz?  There was even a part where the players had to go into a gas chamber to read a clue.  One of the girls mentioned that she shouldn't go into the gas chamber because she has asthma and it would be unhealthy for her.  You know, because gas chambers are only bad for you if you have asthma.  Matt is more invested in this than I am, but I join him in watching it sometimes.  In the absence of Teen Mom, however, this show will serve me well.  It's just horrible enough and entertaining enough to make an hour of ellipting go by in a flash.

What are you watching?  Is there anything out there that we should be watching but aren't?

Amazing Race Watermelon Face Smash

Ouch!



If you have a case of the Mondays, just watch this video and be happy that, more than likely, a watermelon won't smash you in the face today.  (If you're at work, watch it on mute.  The volume isn't really necessary.)

 Anyway, there's a dearth of cool teams on this season of the Amazing Race.  Matt and I did what we always do with competitive reality TV shows, and each picked two teams after the introductions.  I have the cool girl doctors.  There's a 75% chance that they'll win.

And the Princeton A Capella boys (a choice I'm already regretting).  Matt says they're the 'Nard Dawgs.  And, no, the one on the right is not Harry Potter.  If he was Harry Potter, perhaps he'd be able to conjure up some navigation skills.

Matt has Chad and Stephanie (a choice he's already regretting), the newly dating couple who just bought a house together.  He's a former football player and a giant tool, and he's planning on proposing during the race.  She's nicknamed "Tinkerbell," which makes me dislike her.

And the beach volleyball players.  There's not really much to dislike about them.  They're nice and smart enough and competitive without being obnoxious.  If my girl doctors don't take the victory, these girls might.

Do you watch Amazing Race?  Who do you want to win?  Do you want to go play with a watermelon slingshot?

The Real World = Lots of Great TV

Weeeeeeeeeeee're baaaaaaaaack. 

Because all good things must come to an end, our perfectly-balanced-between-fun-and-relaxing spring break is over.  I spent nine days getting my body to adjust to staying up late and sleeping in, just in time to have return to work, just in time to have to force myself to wake up early again.  Boo for waking up early.  The good news is that there are only forty-five more school days until summer.  That's really not a lot of days.

And birthday week/month is over; we ate the last vestiges of it tonight.  (PS--Here's a great gift idea. Sneak Fresh Market ribeyes into your friend's refrigerator when you are house and dog sitting.  Your friend will be forever grateful.  Muchas gracias, Cris!)  Year twenty-nine has been pretty great so far, I must say.  If the next fifty point five weeks are as lovely, I'll be a happy, happy girl.

We don't really have anything exciting happening anytime soon, but there is a certain comfort in returning to our routine.  And since we are admitted television addicts, our routine includes way too much of the tube.  Here's what we've been watching of late:

• Breaking Bad.  We (and by we I mean Matt) have been hearing about how great it is for some time, but hadn't gotten around to watching it.  Why is it so good?  In case you haven't heard of it before, here's the premise: unsatisfied high school chemistry teacher finds out that he has terminal cancer, and begins cooking crystal meth to be able to leave money for his family.  And it's got the dad from Malcolm in the Middle, only now he's an evil genius.
• American Idol.  Psych!  We stopped watching this season.  It just sucked too bad and I couldn't stomach Cara.
• Amazing Race.  This season's coming to a close, but it's been great fun.  Plus, three of the five remaining teams are ones we chose: cowboys, gay brother/straight brother, and the idiot models.  Every time we watch Matt curses the models for still being in the race, even though he picked them.  If only the Buffalo Bills could be as successful as the stupid models.
• Top Chef Masters.  This hasn't actually started yet, but it does tomorrow, and we'll be watching and loving every second. 
• Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.  Hugh and Cassie recommended this show (and Christina was raving about it), and I think Hugh put it really well when he described it as being one of the best-edited shows on tv.  And Jamie Oliver is officially one of my favorite British people. 
• Jeopardy!.  Always.  We're watching it right now.  It's 1:28 a.m.  Matt is ranting about how he would have won this game.
• Lost.  I'm really  not that interested since I know what the numbers mean, and that's all I really cared about, but I watch it anyway.  Just looking for closure, I suppose.  Tonight's episode was pretty good.  I like how Desmond and Jamie Oliver always call people Brother.  It's so endearing. 
• 60 Minutes.  We're really, really old. 
• The Pacific.  Matt's watching this; I'm not.  I'm sure it's good and all, but all those army boys all look the same to me, and I have trouble figuring out who's who.  And, yes, I'm quite stupid.
• Treme.  I will be watching this one.  The guys from The Wire doing a show about post-Katrina New Orleans?  Yes, please.
• 500 Days of Summer.  It's not a tv show, but we just watched it last night and I loved every second.  A modern-day Annie Hall, if you will.  Charming and funny and bittersweet.  Plus, it had the girl from Elf!

And here's a hump day video to get you through the day: President Obama playing HORSE--I mean, POTUS--with Clark Kellog, who is good at basketball.  (Better at basketball than damn Kentucky, who is not as good at basketball as I thought.)

Monday Already?

Why is it that Mondays and Tuesdays never seem to jet by the way that Saturdays and Sundays do?

Hope your weekend was great. Ours was relaxing and delicious. We ate bolognese Friday (and Saturday, and Sunday) and fajitas, both of which I'd highly recommend. And, somehow, neither are all that bad for you, which is nice.

Here are some random musings to take your mind off of actual important things:

1. Pioneer Woman's Dog Photos contest. You can either check out the Flickr page and thumb through 35,o00 pictures, or look at her selections. Here are just a few to wet your nose.

The pictures are gorgeous and capture everything that's wonderful about dogs. (They also make me want to pull out every dime we have in savings and blow it all on a new camera and some photo skills.) I guess it's time for me to implant more puppy embryos into my uterus. Maybe I can just sell my story, "THE WOMAN WHO BIRTHED PUPPIES," to the media, and then use that money to buy a new camera.

2. I love love love the fat rubber bands that come on broccoli. They're the BEST for holding together stacks of index cards. Nothing's more annoying than a crappy rubber band.

3. The Olympics and, more specifically, hockey. I'm not really into sports or the Olympics or anything, but Jordan and I did watch D2: The Mighty Ducks about one thousand times during the 1990's. We basically alternated between that and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. Oh, the good old days before Netflix and the internet and OnDemand. Anyway, all of my hockey-related knowledge comes from D2, so today while Matt watched the USA v. Canada, I lounged on the couch playing solitaire on my phone and yelling at the tv: "DO THE FLYING V! YOU'VE GOTTA DO THE FLYING V!" And then Matt said that the Flying V was stupid, and then I divorced him. Yeah, who knows more about hockey? Matt? Or Emilio Estevez? The Ducks did win the Junior Olympics, after all. Stupid Matt.

4. Matt's Amazing Race cowboy team is growing on me, but it does seem like the game is fixed. Make it a little more obvious that you want Jet and Cord to win, why don't you, Amazing Race Producers? A lasso throwing Road Block? Come on!

5. I've been on a healthy eating/exercising regularly kick lately. I've been using Daily Plate to monitor calorie intake, and ellipting regularly. I love it for many reasons (the sleep, the feeling good, having more energy, remembering that I actually do like healthy food, finding my self control again), but I can't stop fantasizing about baked goods. Last week I was so haunted by the Girl Scout Samoas in the refrigerator that I finally just succumbed, shoving ten cookies in my mouth. And I've spent more time thinking about how to make the perfect Trix cereal cupcake than I've spent thinking about anything else in my life. Pathetic. How much is liposuction?

6. Undercover Celebrity Boss. Thanks, SNL. I especially like Martha Stewart.

Such As. . .Oops!

Matt: [reading the previous post] Hey, Dummy, you didn't even get your teams right. You have father/daughter team, and triathalon Grandma is your backup.

He's right. I hate it when he's right. . .such as. . .well. . .like. . .such as. . .maps?

Does this make me just as dumb as the former Miss Teen South Carolina?

Um. . .Amazing Race. . .Such As. . .

Horray for a new season of The Amazing Race, and horray for picking teams! It should be said that this season's field is looking pretty weak.

This season Matt decided to change his strategy. Normally, he goes for those teams with intellectual prowess. But this year he went with the models and the cowboys.

The models, Brent and Caite, are going to be a lot of fun to watch, if only because of how much smarter I'll feel after watching them bumble about the world.

Does Caite look familiar to you? She's a former Miss Teen South Carolina . . .

. . .THIS former Miss Teen South Carolina. And Matt picked them. Says Matt: "Models get what they want, 'cause they're sooooo pretty."



And in keeping with his "let's not go for brains" strategy, he also selected Jet and Cord, rodeo brothers. I have a feeling that they will be rivaling Brent and Caite for the title of dumbest team this season.

I, on the other hand, selected some badass teams. I have triathlete Grandma Jody and Granddaughter Shannon, a.k.a., badasses.
And I got the brothers, Jordan and Dan, one gay and one straight. Catty and smart and hilarious.
Are you watching The Amazing Race this season? Who did you pick to win?

Spice-Rubbed Pork Loin

This is how I felt today from 7:20 a.m. until 6:00 p.m., when I got home and the Matt had dinner ready. It's like we're in the '50s. Well, kind of.

Instead of dragging you down with the details of my shitstorm suckfest of a day, I'll give you something happy: what we had for dinner last night. It was from my friend Martha. I give you [well, Martha gives you] Spice-Rubbed Pork Loin with Acorn Squash.

This is the picture from the website, but ours looked strikingly similar. Except I didn't tie mine. I don't own kitchen twine, I don't know where to find it, and I didn't feel that dental floss was an appropriate substitute.

We served ours with basmatti, because here at M Cubed we can't get enough carbs.

It was one of those meals where we were silent for several minutes whilst shoving food into our faces, and then when we did speak it was only to comment on how good the food was.

That's a lie, actually. We also debated whether the Amazing Race's Canaan and Mika would ever be able to have a healthy relationship, what with her blowing the chance at a million because she wouldn't go down a waterslide. We decided that they will break up soon. What do you think?

Entertainment Week in Review

My musings on this week's entertainment:

• Yay for the return of 30 Rock. It never disappoints. Tracy Jordan, you are a delight.
• Are there two more loathsome people than The City's Olivia and Roxy?
• Oh, yes, there are. They are Lance and Keri from Amazing Race. Fortunately for all of us, they were the last team to arrive, and they have been eliminated from the race. But who will be there to supply us with 'roid rage and arm bandanas?
• Maybe idiot Michael from Top Chef. (Not younger brother Michael--idiot "I-am-so-much-better-than-everyone-else-here" Michael. I think he may be Lance's brother.) This week we get to watch restaurant wars, and the Matt and I can't wait.
• We went to see Where the Wild Things Are today. I would tell you all about it, but I fell asleep for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of the movie, so I don't really know what happened. I do know that it made me cry four different times, it stars the cutest kid on the planet, it has a great soundtrack, and it is visually stunning. Maybe I'll be able to convince Matt to write a review of it, and he can share all of his smart boy insights.

What have you been watching, reading, or listening to?

What I'm Watching

I really love the beginning of autumn. I love the crisp days and the hearty meals, the thought of wearing sweaters and hats and scarves. But one of the best things about this time of year? A NEW SEASON OF TV!

Here are some quick reviews of five shows that will get me through the school year:

1. The Office. I wasn't thrilled with the whole pregnancy thing, but I have faith that the writers will pull it off with plenty of awkward, I'm-embarrassed-for-them moments. And I'm particularly excited for the upcoming wedding episode. I love me a good tv wedding episode. Don't let me down, Office writers.

PS--The original version of The Office is quite the treat. Ricky Gervais, oh dear God. I'm uncomfortable just thinking about his interpretation of the boss, David Brent. It's like the American Office, only on crack.

2. The Hills. Out with the old and in with the new. Lauren's gone, Kristin has arrived, and all hell is about to break loose. (She's trying to snag Justin Bobby!) My 30-minute elliptical workout flies by when I'm watching--and by watching I mean feeling superior and passing judgment. I think I hate every single person on this show.

3. The City. This show is the tv equivalent of a Little Debbie snack or a Savory Toaster Strudel--so horrible, but absolutely delightful. It actually makes The Hills seem credible. Whitney's vapid New York friends and coworkers (particularly Olivia and Roxy) make Spencer and Heidi look like Gandhi and Bill Gates. Even though I'm a girl whose idea of fashion is a ratty tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops, the artificial glimpse into the fashion world fascinates me. But so do train wrecks.

4. TOP CHEF! What great fun. After a healthy dose of reality tv garbage, it's nice to watch a show where the contestants actually have talent. And this season may be the best yet. It's Vegas, Baby, and the stakes are higher.

Matt and I actually play a game when we watch quality reality television. During the season premiere we pick contestants to root for. Matt has bearded Kevin, weird Ashley who looks like a boy, and Mike, the younger Voltaggio brother. Team Mandy is Jenn the super bitch who is awesome and just might win, Bryan the older Voltaggio brother, and kerchief-wearing Mattin, who has already been eliminated. Dammit! He had a kerchief! I thought for sure he'd be in the final three!

5. The Amazing Race. This show is actually the best reality show on tv, and we pick teams for this one, too. I have done pretty well with picking teams in life; I've thrice picked the winners. THRICE! Matt has the Harlem Globetrotters (and I'm so jealous) and the good-looking blonde soccer-playing couple. I have Justin and Zev (Matt's so jealous) and the older couple who met on the internet. I always pick the older couples.

What are you watching this time of year? Any suggestions?