Things I Love

Man oh man.  Matt's parents arrived at our house right about the time my head was about to explode, shortly after I'd had a conversation with Shecky about how Charlie was growing so fast so quickly, and who knew that feeding on "your mother's soul" could provide such nutrition?  The last few days have been wonderful, and we've all been spoiled by the doting grandparents who are more than happy (and if they're not, then they're really good at pretending) to hold the boy who decided that he would like to be held 23 1/2 hours every day (he needs 30 minutes a day to hang out with his zebra).

So I'm much happier and content and un-crazy than I was this time last week, and I just wanted to share some things that I'm loving right now.

1.  Sleep.  I've been spoiled the last few nights by my in-laws who have been helping with the aforementioned needy young man.  I've always loved sleep, but now, oh man.  What I wouldn't give for a coma nap right about now.

2.  Girls on HBO.  Omigod.  Watch it now.  Later, after we've seen a few more episodes, we'll all talk about it like we're in film class with pretentious film students or like we're at a book club where people actually read the books and don't just go for the wine (a.k.a., a stupid book club).

3.  Grandparents.  Lifesavers.  For realz.  I'm happy that Charlie's grandparents are here right now, and I'm happy that my grandparents will be here in a few weeks.

4.  Mad Men.  Can't get enough of this handsome fellow.



5.  Crazy Baby Faces.  I told you he was possessed.

I think he looks like Chloe in this picture.

6.  Oreos.  Why are they so good?  And who buys Oreos that aren't double stuffs?  Crazy people?

7.  The cutest guard dog of all time.  Providing protection against the mailman and kids riding down the street on bicycles.

8.  The greatest sister in all the wide world, who turned 16 today!  16!  How did that happen?  I'm so lucky to have a sister who would send me this picture of an awesome bruise with an explanation that started, "Well, I was playing Hunger Games with my friend. . ."

Things Charlie loves right now.

1.  Boobs.  He's quite taken with them.  Apparently, last night Matt's dad introduced the boy to Christina Aguilera and her assets, and our boy wouldn't peel his eyes from the television.

2.  Justin Bieber. I told you that when the boy was all holed up in my uterus that he would go crazy kicking every time Justin Bieber's "Mistletoe" played, right?  Well, now it seems that whenever that little teen cuteness shows up, Charlie is quiet and happy.

3.  Zebra.  The boy lies down on his little mat and smacks at and loves loves loves his zebra.  Just last night, Charlie said to me, "Mother, when I am one can we please go on a safari so that I may see a zebra in the wild?"  He's very advanced. 

4.  Crap that makes noise.  I was all about avoiding any toy that played music or made a bunch of noise, until my boy screamed for the better part of a week.  And then it became Operation: Find Something That Makes the Boy Stop Screaming.  And what does the trick?  Yep, crap that makes noise.  It's fine, though, because there are different tiers of awful noises, and I can take lullabies and fake heartbeat sounds much better than I can take the sound of my kid screaming.  So there's that.  Sure didn't take long to sell out, huh?

Hey hey hey.

Sorry about the complete and utter slackassness on the ol' bliggity blog.  Just wanted to stop in and say hey what's up so that you don't think we're dead or something.

Life has been good to us lately.  This weekend Matt's parents came down, and we ate and drank and shopped and went to parks and chillaxed.  Matt and I were spoiled like crazy, and it was a wonderful, peaceful weekend.  And I took nary a picture.  Shoot.

But since you love to look at pictures, I did find this beaut on Chloe's Facebook page.

I promise you she's smart.

Today was back to real life, which included working, ellipting, eating gigantic meatball subs (ellipting makes you so hungry!), chatting on the phone, doing laundry.  Not terribly exciting, but kind of nice.  When I am less tired, I'll come back with all manner of treasures and stories. Until then, I've got some Teen Mom to watch and a date with the big bed.

How was your Labor Day weekend?  

This and That

1.  So, Tanya told me that once a woman turns 30, her chances of being attacked drop by like 75%.  So that's comforting.  Now that I'm thirty I am too old and too frumpy to be worth attacking.  Matt says that it's because 30-years olds aren't walking around downtown drunk and stupid.  I say it's because of gravity.  Either way, it's nice to know that I'm less likely to be attacked.

2.  Nothing makes you feel older than high schoolers who are writing essays about time travel.  When they ask, "So, how were the '80s for you?" as though they're talking about the early days of the Roman Empire, you will feel old.  Also, they don't get Saved by the Bell references.  What is this world coming to?  And how am I supposed to teach what an aside is now?

[source]

3.  Happy birthday to Caitie!  It's not so bad, Cait.  Hell, you're less likely to be attacked!


4.  Someone buried a Milk Bone in the back yard.

5.  I am so proud of Tyler and Catelynn on Teen Mom.  Those kids sure are doing their best!  Keep on keepin' on, Tyler and Catelynn (and keep using birth control)!

[source]

6.  We got new neighbors in the house behind ours, and they have some kind of yellow lab mix dog.  He's cute.  Here's the thing, though.  He's Mitch's bark twin, and he barks a good bit, and I always end up walking to the back to see what's wrong with my pup, only to find that he's sitting on the couch or under the bed just chillaxin'.  I wonder if Mitch is weirded out by his bark twin?

Oh, you want to see another picture of my dog sitting on the couch?  Okay!

7.  When I was at the BlogHer conference a few weeks back, I got a bunch of swag.  (Definitely can't talk about swag without feeling super douchey like Michael Scott on The Office.)  I ended up leaving most of it on a park bench with a note for someone to just take it because I had a tiny suitcase and all of the shipping stores were closed.  But I held on to a few items, one of which was a Tempurpedic all-purpose pillow.  OMf'ingG this is the greatest pillow that man has ever created.  I basically carry it around from room to room, finding excuses to lie down (not hard to do) just so that I can use the pillow (and, also, be lazy).  It's a little pricey for a small pillow, but I'm obsessed.  I want about five more.  

8.  Making this for dinner right now.  (Yes, at 11:45.  We're nocturnal.)


9.  Making this for dinner for tomorrow.


10.  Haven't been this excited to see a Friday come in a while.  It's been a long week, and teenagers make me tired (why do they keep asking me questions all the time?).  Plus, we've got some awesome company arriving Saturday afternoon.  Plus, THREE DAY WEEKEND!  Woo-hoo!

To sum up, let's extend three cheers to the following: food, pillows, dogs, awesome in-laws, Fridays, days of labor that are actual lazy days, Caities, birthdays, and not being attacked.

Back with a Vengeance

That title probably made you think that I'm mad.  I'm not mad.  Well, not angry mad.  Crazy mad, maybe.  Who cares?  I'm off topic already.

Anyway, we're back from our little summer trip.  It was just delightful.  We chillaxed, and ate at every chain restaurant that we don't have at home (judge away), and shopped, and ice creamed, and gambled (super poker-playin' Matt won $600!), and talked, and swam, and drank, and laughed, and went for boat rides, and watched HGTV (a must when visiting Matt's parents--Matt's dad's commentary alone makes it worthwhile), and almost got attacked by a swarm of bees a la Macaulay Culkin's character in My Girl.*

Here's what it looked like.

 Malted milk ice cream, this time with chocolate malt powder.  Out of control.

 Got to see Matt's old roommate, Brad, who has a good job and is handsome and looking for a wife.  Ladies?  Anyone?  He's funny, too!

Anyone?  He's really funny!  And important!

 Mitch loves it when he can run around outside sans leash.  So do I.

 Buffalo chicken tender night.

I like to torment Matt's younger brother by taking 100 pictures of him at a time.  He loves it, I'm pretty sure.

 When Mitch is on vacation, he refuses to eat dog food.  Only treats and steak.  Spoiled dog.

 Been eating grilled cheese sandwiches like it's my job.

Boat ride = happy pup.

I know you've probably been feeling a void in your heart since we haven't been updating much, but have no fear.  I've got recipes and some house stuff and some rants about MTV shows on their way.  Stay tuned!

*My Girl is the second movie that made me cry like a baby.  The first was The Land Before Time.  Poor Littlefoot!

Very Advanced.

The other day I was talking to Matt's dad, Spence, about possibly taking care of someone else's dog.  He joked about the problems could arise, you know, like the dog returning to its owners expecting to have freshly-shredded parmesan cheese sprinkled over its food and to sleep in a king-sized bed. (What?  You don't sprinkle fresh parm over your pup's food?)

And I acknowledged that, indeed, Mitch is pretty spoiled.

And Spence said, "How could you not spoil him?  He's a person!  Those facial expressions!"

And then I agreed and felt like a little less of a failure as a dog mom.

Spence isn't the first to make this observation, either.  Opal, back when she was barely two, told us, "Mitch sits on the couch like he's a person."  (Also, you should know that Opal's voice is almost exactly like that of Luke from Modern Family, which makes everything she says fifteen times funnier.)

What keen observations!

"Oh, hey, Aunt Cassie.  How's Fletcher been doing?  He's just a riot."

And that's not all.  See, when we discuss taking Mitch for a walk, we have to spell it out so that he doesn't get prematurely excited or possibly disappointed.  Today, I told Matt I thought I would take Mitch for a W-A-L-K, and Mitch looked up, got excited, and ran to his leash.

My dog child can spell.  And for that, he completely deserves to have parmesan cheese sprinkled over his food.