Weekend Roller Coaster

Cassie and Hugh gave Mitch Camel two years ago.  It is still the only toy he won't destroy, 

maybe because they "dance" every night before bed.  Kind of gross, but mostly just hilarious.

The first part of our weekend was awesomepants.  There was Mexican food and frozen yogurt and catching up on TV shows and talking and snuggling with the pup.  It was a return to real life that we needed after two months of pretty frequent traveling and visitors.  Saturday, I went to Back in the Day Bakery (passed my glucose test which means that I'm now inhaling as many baked goods as I damn well please--should be fun to see the scale at tomorrow's appointment), and finally had the motivation and the energy to begin tackling some of the nagging projects on our "buckle down before baby" to-do list.  And since the weather was absolutely glorious, I opened all the windows and rocked out with organizing and purging (trash) and projecting.  Hell, I even sewed some stuff and only almost-cried once!  

 After we smelled burning plastic, it was time to bid adieu to the bistro lanterns.  Safety first!

Organizing, but clearly not vacuuming. 

 Indecision.

I am obsessed with this little walker.

Matt and I had planned to make Sunday a day of delicious feasting and football (I don't care about football but I do like to see Tom Brady throwing and being handsome, and I was just happy the games were on at home so I would have a Matt around all day), and when I went to Publix to get the goods, it had started pouring and the Publix people had me pull my car up to the front of the store where they loaded my groceries for me (see: Publix is amazing)! I came home, kept the windows open, and listened to the rain.  And Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary!  It was awesome.  

Until Sunday morning, when I woke up with a stomach bug.  "Stomach bug" is way too kind a word for this dehumanizing, awful illness that I had.  And then, all day, there was purging of a different variety.  Mother F!  Everything made me puke.  At one point, Matt had gone into the other room to ellipt and I turned the channel to HBO where Valentine's Day was playing.  Matt warned me: "Don't watch that, or you'll have to vomit again."  I should have heeded his warning, because sure enough, after witnessing about 3 minutes of Ashton Kutcher working at a flower stand, I was saying adios to my glass of ginger ale.  On top of feeling like complete horseshit, I kept feeling really guilty, thinking that I was starving the baby.  He'd kick and I just knew he was trying to remind me that he needed some food.  We're making up for that today, since I'm mostly better, showered, and going all Velveteen Rabbit on our stuff (but with the washer and dryer instead of fire).   

Kraft mac & cheese = miracle food.  It's not good or good for me, but something about the comfort and 

nostalgia of the orangey goodness made it the only thing I could keep down all day.

I'm not at school today (trying to prevent this from happening), and I'm going for a take two.  Let's just pretend that yesterday never happened.  Except that I just put it on the internet.  Shoot.

Let's try this again.

What did you do this weekend?  And are you so happy that we'll be seeing handsome Tom Brady again in a couple of weeks?

*Totes loaned my camera to a friend, so we've got all Instagram pictures today.  Obviously I'm far behind the times on this one, but what fun!

Stuff I Love

In an effort to ignore the one thousand times I've sneezed today* and the killer headache I'm going to have in approximately six hours when I wake up for work (gross), I am going to focus on the positive and show you some things that are making me smile a whole lot lately.

1.  None of Your Frizziness conditioner by Herbal Essences.  I am a complete cheapass when it comes to hair products (or beauty products in general, if we're being honest), so this stuff is super amazing because it makes my hair silky smooth without being greasy, and it smells like a happy day at the beach.  Well, it also kind of smells like a Mary Kate & Ashley brand shampoo that I used when I went on a trip to Mississippi with a professor in college (I wouldn't recommend going on a trip with a professor in college, but that's a story for another time), so, anyway, I also laugh every time I use the conditioner.  Silky hair and hilarious smell deja vu?  Shoot yeah!

2.  More Amish Butterprint treasures!  Matt's mom (are you jealous that my mother-in-law is so much better than yours?) got me these when she was at the Bouckville antiques extravaganza last month.  Are they just the cutest thing you've ever seen or what?  Cassie says that one dish on the right is for pate.  Hmmmm. . .well, I used it to store leftover tater tots this weekend.  That's the same, right?

3.  Cold food.  Mmmmmmm.  I love cold food.  Cold pizza, cold french fries, cold stir fry, cold pasta.  Matt thinks this is the most disgusting thing of all time.  I think it's delicious.

4.  My little cuddle wolf.  Why is he so cute?  Would this pose scare off a murderer robber?  Yeah, I think so, too.

5.  These lollipops that I stole from Tanya's house last weekend.  They're cotton candy flavored or something, and they're super tasty.  She says they came from Party City or something, so I might need to go on an outing here soon.

6.  A trio of baby pumpkin cakes!  They look a little less hobo-like once frosted and sprinkled with walnuts.  You can tell that Cassie totes decorated the one on the left.  I've not got the patience for that bull jive!

I also love people who come to my house and clean it and then do all of my essay grading while I sit on the couch and watch Teen Mom, so if anyone out there is bored, feel free to come on by.  I'll provide you insightful commentary on the state of Amber and Gary's relationship and Farrah's stupid bitchness.  



*Matt refused to say anything after someone sneezed.  No "God bless you," no "Gesundheit," no nothing.  He said he does not need to acknowledge that I've sneezed.  I say he's lucky I still have a soul.  I've been so obnoxious about his refusal over these last nine years that recently, whenever I sneeze, he gives me a really exaggerated "God bless you."  It's a minor victory, sure, but it sure makes having a cold a lot more fun.

Weekend

After having a "less than fun" day with students on Friday (was it a full moon or something?), I came home and decided that I needed a Brothers & Sisters nap before I did anything else.  Then I threw a temper tantrum while I was on the phone with Matt because the wiimote batteries were dead and I had to get out of bed to go get more.  I proceeded to growl breathe on the phone with Matt for a few minutes until he wisely said something along the lines of, "Oh man, I'll see you when I get home.  I'm going into a dead zone." Fortunately for him, I was asleep by the time he got home (like 15 minutes later).

But then when I woke up four hours later, I realized that I'd caught the cold that he'd spent the whole week fighting, and then I was super pissed.  So I went to Target to pick up my cure for a cold, a bottle of Simply Grapefruit juice (this cure is 90% placebo effect and 10% vitamin C, but it works pretty well) and some fancy cough drops (I am a cough drop addict, as is my dog).

Then I wasted my Saturday away taking approximately 12 more Brothers & Sisters naps, drinking another entire Simply Grapefruit juice, making some tasty chicken noodle soup, and pouting because my cold cure had failed.  This morning I finally changed out of the clothes I was wearing on Friday.  I haven't taken a shower in seven weeks.

Suckfest.

The good news, though, is that I had a freezer full of popsicles, and I found a water bottle at Target that is basically just a sippy cup for grown-ups that I could prop up against a pillow so that I could just roll over slightly to enjoy some nice, cold water.  And the weather was out of control perfection, so I had all of the windows open and enjoyed the nice breeze.  And tonight I got super inspired and attempted to make some mini pumpkin cakes. They're delicious, but I definitely didn't have the right pans, so they look kind of like hobo cakes.  Oh well.  I'd rather have delicious ugly food than disgusting beautiful food.  Right?  Right?

 Brothers & Sisters nap #9.

 If Simply Grapefruit doesn't work, maybe Ben & Jerry's will?

New laundry baskets make me happy.  Also, I am old.

Mitch loves the smells of fall. 

 Totes super glued my fingers together.

 It's all very Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Well, shoot.

Here's to a new week, getting rid of this stupid cold, and more open window days.

Better Than a Cough Drop

You know what I hate?  I hate being half-sick. I've been half-sick for about a week now, and it's really beginning to piss me off. 

(And then I hate how I'm such a baby about minor things.  I could be really, really sick; or I could have lost my job; or I could be Mattless or Mitchless; or I could have to live somewhere without internet or DVR.  Believe me, I know that things could be worse.  But right now I want to whine like a tiny little baby.)

So every time I wake up in the morning (or from a nap, if we're being candid), I have a headache and a sore throat, and I generally feel like shit.  And I cough and cough, trying to hack up something that just refuses to leave my ailing, old body.  And then I cough some more.  And then I hold my chest because it's hurting to cough.  And then I scream over ninth graders who are twenty-one days away from summer.  And then I cough some more.  Suckfest.

I either want to be 100% better, or sick enough to stay home from school.  I've been taking my temperature, and the highest it is is like 99.5: high enough for me to feel shitty, but not high enough for me to justify missing school. 

The only silver lining to this whole semi-sickness is that I can eat ice cream guilt-free.  I usually don't keep ice cream in the house (because I love it so, and lack self-discipline), but if I'm sick, it's basically a form of medicine.  Good for the throat, you know.

And I'll be damned if I didn't come across something fun this week--sherbert in the Virginia Tech colors.  (Sometimes it's the little things, isn't it?)

This is some berry sherbert (in my head this counted as a fruit purchase) from Publix, and the colors are quite pretty. 

Matt's a Virginia Tech football fan, and I'm kind of indifferent.  But how fun would it be to have this included in some dessert for a party where we watch VT play? 

There's just one teeny problem. When a team finds out that Matt is rooting for them, they immediately begin to lose, and not even in respectable ways.  They lose in ridiculous, heartbreaking ways, like some thing called the Music City Miracle (an atrocity, if you ask Matt), or by throwing an interception returned for a touchdown at the very last second.

Sooooooooooo. . .I think Matt needs to start cheering for, oh, I don't know, TIM TEBOW (lame!), and then perhaps his beloved Virginia Tech can go to a championship game, and then I can have a party to celebrate, and I can serve VT ice cream sandwiches. 

Or. . .maybe I'll just serve these sandwiches next time we have people over.  That other plan sure does seem like a lot of work.

Cough.

Cough.

Time for some sherbert.  Goooooooooo, Tech!

Phone Pictures

I'm a cough drop addict. 

So is Mitch.

Any time I am eating a cough drop at home, this is what I see.

Damn spoiled dog. 

Also, because I'm being super productive today (and by super productive, I mean that I slept until 1:00 and ate four pieces of leftover pizza while watching the news and some horrible Jessica-Simpson-Goes-to-Japan-and-Acts-Like-a-Moron show), I decided that it was high time to sort through stuff on my phone.  So, on this very exciting Thursday, I give you a year in phone pictures (mostly of that spoiled dog).

1.  Grandma on her Blackberry.

I love this.  Here's my Grandma on a gorgeous summer day, lounging on her back porch, swinging and watching videos of cats on YouTube on her new Blackberry.  And the dog under the swing?  Why is he so cute?

2.  Fletcher.

Oh, aching uterus!  This was one of our first times meeting Fletcher.  I can't remember if we turned his ears inside out of if that happened while he ran around like a maniac.  It doesn't matter, though, because he has one of the cutest little dog faces.  And he's about ten times bigger than that now.

3.  Back in the Day Bakery meal.

Rosemary chicken salad sandwich and an old-fashioned cupcake.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  This was one day last summer when I decided that Mitch deserved to go downtown and see the sights.  About thirty seconds in, I realized that I'd made a horrible mistake, but was so excited about this food that I suffered through my psychopathic and racist dog harrassing every person who walked by.

4.  Bethy.

I took this picture in Olivier's parents' basement, right after talking to Becky on the phone.  Becky was devastated because she had pneumonia and was not able to go to the wedding.  We called her from the reception, and sent her this picture via text.  That weekend was amazing, but kind of bittersweet because I knew how sad Becky was that she couldn't be there.

5.  Cat at the vet's.

Took Mitch to the vet in December to get a heartworm test.  He's not a big fan of going to the vet, and while we waited for the results of the test in the lobby, Mitch discovered that there was a cat in this cage.  He barked; the cat hissed; I cussed.  It was less than fun.

6.  Maureen and Mitch.

When Maureen and Brian came to Savannah over New Year's, Mitch was not terribly generous with his couch.  But at least he'll let people use him as a pillow.

7.  Papers to grade.

Poetry portfolios?  Apparently I am a masochist. 

8.  Walk to Daffin Park.

Savannah has some beautiful parks, and lucky for us, this one's only a few blocks away from our house.  Mitch loves the long walks, and loves to roll around in the freshly-cut grass (and stain his face green).  I love being able to see fireworks from my living room window on weekends. Daffin Park is also home to the oldest minor leage baseball stadium in the country.  Babe Ruth played there.  That's pretty cool.

9.  Freedom Tickler?

Are you kidding me, gas station bathroom in South Carolina?!  This makes me want to go to Target, and to protest wars, and to eat some French toast.  Crazy ass people and their fake patriotism. 

10.  Cutest thing ever.

Blurry, but ridiculously cute.  I'll give him as many cough drops as he wants.

This and That

Life has been pretty slow around these parts, if only because my current obsession with watching 16 and Pregnant is rapidly causing my brain cells to evaporate.  (But, seriously?  What's wrong with these girls?  What's wrong with their parents?  What's wrong with their boyfriends?  WHY AREN'T WE SLIPPING BIRTH CONTROL INTO SCHOOL LUNCHES??)

So, unless you want to hear about adventures in grading papers (which is almost as bad for the brain as watching 16 and Pregnant) or doing laundry, then I really don't have much to share at this juncture.  Wouldn't be prudent.  

Here's what I've got:

• Got Cassie hooked on 16 and Pregnant as well.  Between the show and the insane commercials that aired throughout, Cassie felt like she was in an alternate universe.  It was pretty fun to watch. 
• Mitch is still the cutest thing of all time.  No surprises there.  He is currently snuggling with me on the couch.  He freaked out earlier today when I was watching 16 and Pregnant and one of the girls was screaming during her really painful contractions.
• I keep wanting to make those strawberry shortcake cookies again, but I'm afraid that I'll get as fat as those girls on 16 and Pregnant.
• Getting pretty excited about the return of The City and The Hills.  I love to ellipt during those shows; hell, they're almost as disturbing as 16 and Pregnant.
• I have a sore throat.  I think it's from yelling at the tv whilst watching 16 and Pregnant.

And I think I might actually be getting sick.  I've been taking my temperature frequently, using both of my thermometers.  I have two because Caitie sent me one after hearing me complain about how my thermometer was broken.  In truth, just because a thermometer does not say that I have a fever when I want proof of how sick I feel, it does not necessarily mean that the thermometer is broken.  Shit.

I should go now, though, because I've only got twenty minutes before the finale of 16 and Pregnant comes on. 

Have you watched this ingenius show?  Is there some meeting I can attend to help fight the addiction?

The Falcon is in the attic.

I'm a news junkie. I turn on the news as soon as I get home from school, and I leave it on in the background while I meander around the house, pretending to clean or be productive.

What I find both hilarious and annoying about the news is how news stations will go apeshit for the silliest stories. Case in point: Balloon Boy, Falcon Henne.

For about two hours today, MSNBC showed an giant helium balloon that looked like an alien ship with the captions beneath reading variations of "6-year old boy in balloon."

The Colorado scenery was nice, too.

As time rolled by, I began to get irritated. Isn't there a big healthcare debate? Aren't we involved in two wars? What's happening with Jon and Kate? But no. It was balloon boy.

When I talked to Caitie this afternoon and told her about the story (she had actually gone to school today whereas I stayed home sick, and she missed all of the balloon boy excitement), she asked, "So, wait. There's a chance someone's gonna come home today and find a little kid splattered on their lawn?" Yep.

Fortunately for Falcon, his family, and the hypothetical neighbor, Falcon had not been in the balloon. Instead, he was hiding in the attic of his house. (all photos stolen from NY Daily News)

And he's a pretty cute little daredevil.

The ordeal, and the cable-news stations' attempts to obtain as much information as possible, turned up some weird facts about Falcon's family.

• His parents are mad scientist storm chasers
• This was a homemade balloon made for storm chasing
• They named their kid Falcon
• They were on WIFE SWAP--TWICE!

Wow. I can forgive the storm chasing and the mad scientist parts. I can get on board with naming a kid Falcon, even. But WIFE SWAP? Really? Now I'm passing judgment.

Glad you're alive, Falcon. I'm sure I'm going to be hearing way too much about you and your insane parents in the next few days.

Sickfest

This week has been a bit of a a suckfest sickfest for me. I've been sick since Monday, not crazy sick or hospital sick, but sick enough to be unhappy.
And I've been a whiny baby about it. I've used my sort-of illness as an excuse to:

• be a bitch
• eat too much
• skip exercising
• revert to bad habit of coma naps
• whine
• procrastinate at work

I've also developed a new compulsion--taking my temperature. I'm obsessed. I take my temperature approximately 30 times per day (current temperature, 99.6). It's the very first thing I do when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I do before I go to bed. I keep thinking of the sitcom episode--I believe it was an early Full House--where the child (DJ?), attempting to stay home from school, put the thermometer up to the light bulb and got it to read something like 110 degrees. I'm really not far past that. I repeatedly take my temperature, sticking the thermometer in different parts of my mouth to find which part is the hottest. I won't take my temperature if I've just taken a sip of a cold drink, but I love to take it if I've just eaten something hot.

And, honestly, I'm kind of rooting for a fever. Isn't that stupid? Basically, I feel that if I'm going to be uncomfortable and unable to breathe at night, I should also be able to stay home from work, sleep all day, whine, and make Matt fetch things for me and pet my head.

But, alas, no staying home for this girl. Not me, not now (Remember the abstinence campaign on the radio that had that as its slogan? I'm pretty sure I have a homemade tshirt with the same saying!) It's too early in the school year to be out of work. Plus, I'm saving sick days for the swine flu, which I will almost certainly get because of all of the jokes I made last spring.

Here's hoping that you are feeling better than I am.

Current temperature, 99.3. Oh, what a roller coaster!