Little Miss Hurricane

Every time I hear anything about Little Miss Hurricane Irene, I can't help but to start singing Johnny Cash's old "Goodnight Irene."  And what's better, then, than a little porch trio singing it?*



For those of you in Miss Irene's** path, be safe, stay dry, and don't try to go swimming in a flash flood.  It always seems like it'll be way more fun than it ends up being.  (Kind of like camping.)

And come back soon, because this weekend I'll be working on a tasty treat revelation (it is like a vision from an angel), working on a few little house projects (because the in-laws are coming next week and the house needs to look like less of a disorganized pile of garbage), and maybe even taking some pictures of Mitch (in case you forgot what he looks like).  If we're lucky, I'll get Matt all liquored up and make him perform dramatic interpretations of Lifetime movies.

Happy weekend!  T minus 45 minutes until I'm inhaling some Mexican food!


*Note to self: start banjo playin' porch trio band with Matt and Mitch.  


**Also can't help but to think of Irene from the Seattle season of The Real World, who told angry Stephen that he was gay and then was the recipient of "The Slap Heard 'Round the World."  TV history!

This and That

1.  Put the white couch cover on and I'm completely in love.  Also pretty enamored with my new Savannah toille pillow.  Maybe having the white cover will inspire me to be better about keeping the floors clean?  Oh, and I still can't decide which color to dye the other one.  Oh, and if this one looks a little dingy it's because it's the one from the as-is bin and I just haven't washed it.  Probably going to get some kind of weird communicable disease or something, but I was tired of doing laundry.

2.  Yesterday was a day dedicated to doing nothing except eating, watching Parks & Recreation, and assigning a Hogwarts house to everyone we know.  In short, if you are awesome, you go to Gryffindor.  If you are kind of awesome, but more nerdy than awesome, then you go to Ravenclaw.  If you are dumb, you go to Hufflepuff.  And if we don't like you, you go to Slytherin.  And just to make sure that our assessments are accurate, I just took an online quiz, and I'm totes Gryffindor.  Duh.

3.  I think there should be a "correct pronoun usage" challenge on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  Also, CT is hot.  Crazy, maybe has rabies, but hot nonetheless.  Matt thinks I have bad taste and that CT eats his young.  Have we talked about this before?

That cut above his eye is probably from fighting a helicopter or trying to bite the head off of a rhinoceros.

4.  Mitch is still the cutest dog on the planet.  I think he's a little mad at us right now, though, because we have yet to buy him his own lake house and boat.

5.  I can't watch that Sarah MacLaughlin commercial (that's on right now, but I'm averting my eyes) with all of the dogs and cats because it makes me cry like a baby and then I just want to buy a farm and just adopt dogs and cats and be crazy.

6.  Made Spicy Pork Stew for dinner the other night, because apparently I'm on a spicy pork kick, and because it's actually one of the most healthy things we make, besides, you know, lettuce and ice cube popsicles.  The original recipe came from some diabetes website, and Cassie says that I should just call it diabetes stew, which would set really low expectations, and then when people eat it they'll be amazed at how good it is.  (Kind of like the movie Hot Tub Time Machine.) It's really good.  It's even better with this cornbread.

7.  If you haven't checked it out already, go to Cassie's bee-log and learn how to make mayonnaise by watching her vee-log.  I hate mayonnaise, but I kind of want to make it and then make some fancy chicken salad or something.

8.  Are you on Pinterest yet?  Come play with me on Pinterest, already!

9.  I took a shower this morning (amazing, I know), and my hair is still wet 14 hours later.  Oh, delightful Savannah humidity.

10.  I think that if I don't watch my favorite HBO movie, It's Complicated, RIGHT THIS SECOND, the universe might implode.

Hope your Friday is the bee's knees!

This and That

1.  Ladies and gentlemen, it's Snuggie weather time!  The other night I snuggied up on the couch with the dog (who does not, for some reason, own his own Snuggie).  If it gets any colder outside it's going to be lying-on-the-couch-in-a-sleeping-bag weather.  Whoop, whoop!

2.  Informal poll.  Are you tired all the time?  Because I'm tired all the time, and I can't decide if this fatigue is A.) a result of my weird sleep habits and caffeine addiction, B.) just part of being a grown-up, or C.) some kind of health problem.

3.  And, just in case you need to see how tired I look all the time, here's my school picture.  (By the way, I think that one of the very worst parts of my job is the fact that I'm forced to take school pictures that will be featured in a yearbook.)  This is what I look like at 9:45 a.m. with no makeup, and little will to live.  In my defense, I had just spent the last hour of my life corralling primping ninth graders through a stuffy hallway,  trying to get about 25 of them to keep from screaming and touching each other while standing in line.  The only somewhat redeeming thing about this photo is that I had actually brushed my hair that morning.   

And how's this for a before and after?  That's what 12 years, hatred in your heart, and a love for baked goods will do to you.

4.  We've had two fun new meals this week: Quick Dirty Rice from Our Life in the Kitchen, and Cheesy Beefy Potato Soup from My Fiance Likes It So It Must Be Good.  Both were very, very tasty.  Both will be made again.

 [source]

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5. My eleventh graders have figured out that if they want to get me off-topic, all they need to do is bring up Amber from Teen Mom.  Is that bitch in jail yet?  Or at least sterilized?

6. Bought the first two book of The Hunger Games series for Chloe [but really for Matt who wanted an excuse to read them].  I kind of want to read them, but I'm afraid that they'll give me bad dreams. 

7.  The election was a bit of a suckfest--an expected suckfest, but a suckfest nonetheless.  At least most of the craziest of the crazies lost, right?  Hey, but did you hear that Sean from the Boston season of The Real World is now a Representative from Wisconsin? You know, the lumberjack guy who married the crazy girl who made out with Puck on the San Francisco season of The Real World.  If I remember right, I liked him (Sean, not Puck).  Did you watch the Boston season?  It was the one with Elka and Genesis and Montana (Basically during MTV's phase of selecting only cast members who had silly names.  Now they just try to find the person who's most likely to do steroids and botox and take 50 shots in a hour's time.).

8. I seriously have the best mother-in-law.  The other night I was talking to her about how I can't seem to find any good baking chocolate in Savannah, and today I got this in the mail.  I love her.

9. Tomorrow Matty and I will be attending a showing of The River Why at the Savannah Film Festival.  We're excited because we got free tickets (old roommate Cris is a baller who scores free stuff for us), but mostly because it stars Zach Gilford (a.k.a. MATT SARACEN!).  It basically looks like a modern-day A River Runs Through It, which is awesome because I LOVE A River Runs Through It. 

10.  Just spent a good chunk of my night making candied pecans and caramel.  Get ready for something tasty!

Oh, Friday, where have you been all my life--or, for the last six days?

What We're Watching

Matt and I are unapologetic TV addicts.  Fortunately for us, the quality of television shows has increased tremendously in the last decade or so, so we can be entertained by smart, beautiful programming.  And then, of course, there's Teen Mom.

Anyway, here's what we've been watching lately:

1.  Football.  This one's more Matt than me.  He watches and I provide commentary.  For example, when one of the refs threw a flag during the Bills game this afternoon, I hollered, "Ooooooh, someone's in trouble!"  Then I fell asleep for four hours.  Oh well.

[source]

2.  Boardwalk Empire.  Ooh, what a pretty and smart show!  We are both really enjoying the glimpse into Atlantic City during prohibition.  Martin Scorcese and HBO?  Yes, please.  We're an episode behind, though, because every time we go to watch it I fall asleep.  Oops.  (Also, don't make old timey Omar kill your ass.)

3.  The Office.  The new season of this old favorite has had a really strong start.  I think my favorite little storyline so far has been Pam creating herself an entirely new position.  I just got caught up with The Office because I'd fallen asleep during last week's episode.  Does anyone else think that I might have narcolepsy?

4.  30 Rock.  Another strong start to a season!  There's a special place in my heart for 30 Rock, and I'm still working on getting Matt to dress up as Werewolf Bar Mitzvah for Halloween.  I think the only way I'll get him to do it is to get in a big fight with him that is his fault, and to cry and then say that the only way he can make it up to me is to dress up for Halloween. 

5.  Modern Family.  This might just be my favorite show.  And while all of the characters are wonderful, I think Phil might just be my favorite.  (He's the most like Ross Gellar, I've decided.)

6. Amazing Race.  Even though this season's teams are pretty crappy, we're still watching.  I wish I'd chosen Kev Jumba and his dad, though.  I also wish there was a watermelon face smash on every episode!

7.  Teen Mom.  We've talked about this one a lot, and it's simultaneously the best and worst thing on TV right now.  I can't believe that the next episode is going to be the season finale!  Matt would like to point out that he does not watch this show, because he is above trash like this and prefers high brow entertainment, which you will discover with item number 10.

8.  The News.  I'm a little bit of a news junkie.  My favorite news show is Rachel Maddow.  Watching her show is educational and entertaining, and she's not a maniacal idealogue like some other hosts.  And she has Kent, and she's really tall, so that's good.

9.  Glee.  Just kidding.  We stopped watching that in the middle of last season.  I just couldn't make myself care anymore.

10.  Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  This season takes place in Prague, and the elimination battles happen in the "Gulag". As in, Brandon and Derrick will be facing off in The Gulag. WTF?  What's the next season going to be?  The Challenge: Auschwitz?  There was even a part where the players had to go into a gas chamber to read a clue.  One of the girls mentioned that she shouldn't go into the gas chamber because she has asthma and it would be unhealthy for her.  You know, because gas chambers are only bad for you if you have asthma.  Matt is more invested in this than I am, but I join him in watching it sometimes.  In the absence of Teen Mom, however, this show will serve me well.  It's just horrible enough and entertaining enough to make an hour of ellipting go by in a flash.

What are you watching?  Is there anything out there that we should be watching but aren't?

This and That

1. On Monday I snuggled with Mitch in the bed.  I was hugging him.  An hour or so later I had poison ivy all over my arm.  Seriously? (And it itches like crazy!  Worse than a chigger!  By the way, why are chiggers so funny?  And why is Chigarid even funnier?)
2. Matt has a cold.  I'm trying to be a nice, good wife who does things like cook chicken noodle soup (and by chicken noodle soup I mean chili cheese dogs--they're good for a cold!) and picks up cough drops and juice at Target and does all of the dishes after dinner. Also I'm doing those things because on Monday I was possessed by the devil and was a super bitch for no reason.  Or maybe I was possessed by poison ivy?
3. Why are these fries so good?  They also make spicy sweet potato fries!  Confession: we've eaten Alexia frozen fries twice this week.  It's not really a healthy food kind of week.

4. I want to make these cookies with Reese's Pieces instead of Reese's Cups.  What do you think about that?
5. Matt is watching the newest Real World/Road Rules challenge, "the fifth major American sport." (Apparently Bill Simmons said that.)  That show's been going on so long that contestants have gotten married and now divorced.  (Gee golly, I'm so surprised, Danny and Melinda!  Was it the steroids or the anger or just the fact that you're both batshit crazy?)  I like watching it because it always makes me feel like I'm a superior human being.
6. I think that when the contestants on Real World/Road Rules challenge need to feel superior, they turn on Teen Mom.  Last night I ellipted for an hour, completely fueled by the anger of watching Amber, Maci, and Catelynn's whore of a mom.  I think Amber is actually the worst human being on the planet.  I hate her with my heart and with my soul.  How many times does she need to hit Gary and scream at her child before someone rescues her child from her?

7. It was picture day at school.  I HATE picture day.
8. I'm making these tomorrow, but with cherries.
9. The weather is out of control perfect this week.  Can it just stay like this until the end of time?
10. Mitch is currently sitting on Matt's lap, being really sweet.  It just seems sweet, though.  Really, he's trying to take Matt's cough drop out of his mouth.  Mitch loves cough drops.

This and That

1.  Went to the Battle of the Bands on Sunday with Cris.  Since there were going to be camera crews there filming for the sequel to Drumline (a movie that I made Matt go with me to see in the theater years ago), and since we share a love for marching bands, we were super pumped to go.  I have to admit, though, that it was only kind of fun.  The bands played to only one side of the stadium the entire time (not our side), and we were sitting in the glaring sun.  At times, I felt like my face would burst into flames.  There were a few awesome moments, though.  Like this kid:

And these guys, who were billed as the "Five Hottest Guys on Earth."  You can be the judge of that.

2.  Matt can't wait to see this movie.  He's bananas for keeping Christ in Christmas.



3.  There's some alpha dog shit happening in our house.

4.  I'm basically a professional fantasy football player.  I'm 2-0 in my league, and I keep telling Matt that he could stand to learn from me.  East Dillion Lions all the way, baby!

5.  Can we start a petition to get Amber from Teen Mom sterilized?

6.  I have this new strategy to keep myself from being such a fatass: eating from smaller bowls.  Sure, sometimes that means that I eat two bowls of delicious food (like tonight's Kung Pao Chicken).  But sometimes I don't, and the plan is that this will lead me to eating smaller portions (i.e., not the amount of food that four humans would eat per day).  Am I still allowed to fill the bowl to be super full?

7.  Matt and I are [tentatively] planning to head north Halloween weekend to visit with family and friends and to attend Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity.  Who wants to join?

8.  So, I wear heels to school almost every day.  And I have to walk around our campus a lot, and I'm always in some kind of hurry because I just want to get back to my classroom and my uber comfortable chair.  Time and again, I'll have someone poke their head around a corner or out a classroom door and tell me that they knew it was me coming because of the sound of the heels.  I don't really know what to make of this.  All I can figure is that I must have the least feminine, least delicate walk of all time.  Basically, I'm girl Shrek on heels.  Either that, or I'm aggressive and determined.  Let's go with the latter.  Or some combination of the two.  I give up.

Happy hump day!

Teen Mom: A Rant

Tonight, I was discussing a recent television addiction, Teen Mom, with a friend who is an an avid watcher but would rather the whole world wide web not know of her affinity for trashy MTV reality television. (But I'll give you a hint: her name rhymes with sassy.  It's not really her fault, though.  I made her watch 16 and Pregnant, which is basically like giving a person heroin and wondering why they become a junkie.)

In case you don't watch Teen Mom (because, presumably, you have better things to do with your time or are too old and too mature to indulge in such smut), allow me to provide you a quick overview.  There are four teen moms (fancy that!) and we follow them as they try their hands at motherhood.  Actually, one of the teen moms gave her baby up for adoption (lucky little bastard dodged a real bullet on that one), so only three of the teen moms are actually raising kids. 

(Farrah and her mom)

First, there's Farrah.  She's the best looking of the teen moms featured, but as we all know, pretty doesn't equal smart.  Farrah let her baby fall off the bed, and on a recent episode she tried her hand at speed dating, where she learned a hard lesson: that she is no longer too good for anyone, including the weird guy who had some kind of kickboxing mantra tattooed on his arm in Thai.  Ouch!  Farrah also has some deep-rooted mommy issues, and could, in my opinion, stand to learn another tough lesson--that sometimes moms can be whorebags, and maybe they don't deserve a place in your life. 

(Maci)

Then there's Maci.  Maci isn't the cutest, but she seems to be the smartest (which isn't saying a whole lot, considering the competition).  She named her kid Bentley, a name that seems like it should be tattooed across a teenage boy's stomach.  Currently, she's dating a guy who looks like Landry from Friday Night Lights, only on steroids.  She is trying to get an education, though, so I guess I need to give her props for at least trying.

(Catelynn and her ridiculous boyfriend)

Next up, we have Catelynn.  I actually have fleeting moments where I pity Catelynn.  Her mom is even more of a maniacal see-you-next-Tuesday than Farrah's mom.  Catelynn's the one who put her baby up for adoption, and while I kind of admire that choice (I would have admired the choice to take birth control even more), I can only be sympathetic for so long.  I was especially annoyed with her when she had a second pregnancy scare.  And, am I wrong, or was she prom dress shopping at Fashion Bug?  I didn't even know Fashion Bug was still around.

(Amber)

And last--and least--there's Amber.  My god, I hate Amber.  Not only does she look like Elvira and Miss Piggy had a baby, but she's super super dumb to boot. (Like, was-crying-because-she-couldn't-pass-the- GED-practice-test dumb.)  And she's a bitch.  Seriously, this girl has zero redeeming qualities.  And her boyfriend!  Sometimes I wonder if Amber and her boyfriend are in some kind of contest with each other to be the most loathsome human being on the planet.  Watch out, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Sarah Palin--Amber and her baby daddy are a nippin' at your heels! 

(Amber and her boyfriend even got into a fight!  Was this before or after he cheated

on her with the girl he met in the diaper aisle at Wal-Mart?)

Anyway, I need to go donate our entire savings account to Planned Parenthood now.

Do you watch Teen Mom? 

One Step Forward, Two Steps ON MY FACE!

**Note.  There is no rhyme or reason to this post.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the guest room ellipting and Matt was keeping me company. We don't have DVR on the guest room TV (Or good cable even--every time Matt's in there he praises our newer, nicer, high definition TV. What's wrong with the fuzzy lines running through Roseanne Conner's face? Matt's a TV snob, but I digress.), so we're left to watch garbage during that time. Usually, I'll try to time it so that I can watch Rachel Maddow or The City (last night I was really lucky and caught some of the better parts of Sister Act) while I ellipt, but on this particular night all that was on that remotely interested us was MTV's True Life: I Hate My Face. I think I only wanted to watch it because I had so much fun saying the title over and over again, and then, of course, yelling at the TV, "I hate your face, too!" There's something so entertaining to me about emphatically using the word face in my daily language. Try it out.


Other digression: jokes. One of my favorite memories of Chloe, one of the times that I realized that she was truly funny, was when she was three years old. She was with my mom and brother, and they'd all driven down to JMU to pick me up because it was Christmas break. (How did I live without a car for an entire year?) So, as we drove the 2 1/2 hours home (It always took me longer when I was by myself--like 4-5 hours--because I have a terrible sense of direction and can't pay attention to anything. One time I missed the state of Maryland completely. How does that even happen?), we were telling knock-knock jokes to Chloe. You know, the "Banana, banana. . .orange you glad I didn't say banana?" and the "Interrupting cow. . MOO!" She laughed, and at some point it occurred to us that she was actually getting the jokes, not just laughing because of all of the stupid animal noises we were making. So, in the spirit of Christmas, Jordan and I wrote our own knock-knock joke:

Knock knock!


Who's there?


Santa Claus.


Santa Claus who?


SANTA CLAWS YOUR FACE OFF!

She laughed and laughed, and we knew that we had something special in that little tyrant. (There was another joke about Pikachu which was just as funny, but not as seasonally appropriate.)

But back to faces. I'm getting old, and I can see it in my skin. Maybe all of those sunburns and days of lying in the sunshine weren't so smart after all? I've really been noticing it in my hands. I'm starting to have wrinkled up old lady hands. (I also have a shitload of gray hair, but I'm determined not to color it--at least for a long time.  What I really want is one of those sassy women skunk stripes, but I don't know how to make that happen.) I was talking to Cassie about my old lady wrinkly hands this weekend, and the subject turned to face wrinkles. See, I'm not terribly concerned about the face wrinkle thing just yet, because I've found a more natural form of Botox: baked goods. I figure that as long as I keep plumping my face up, then I won't have to deal with wrinkles. Obviously, though, this is a terrible idea. So Cassie was talking about the soap she uses, Dove Sensitive Skin face bar, and she was raving about it. Now, I am kind of reluctant to put soap on my face because every time I do I get zits. Really. Usually I just wash my face with a washcloth and hot water, and that works well for me. (True story. I had tons of pimples as a teenager until the week I ran out of soap and my mom wouldn't take me to the store to get more. Used only water, and my face cleared right up. Weird, but kind of convenient.) But last night I tried out the new soap, and my face felt silky smooth! I was so excited. I just kept touching it and looking at it. Horray for soft, moisturized skin!

So I went to bed, pleased with myself and with my face. Then Mitch decided that he didn't like the spot where he was lying, and he started to do that thing that dogs do, where he kept stomping on the blankets and pillows with his feet, nudging pillows with his face, until he made the spot just perfect. He turned around in circles for about thirty seconds as he sought out that most comfortable of spots, and during his spinning maneuver, before he plopped down and let out a big dog sigh, he stomped on my face with his rough ol' Dorito-smelling back paw. It hurt like hell, and I screamed, and he looked at me like I was crazy, and now the side of my face is all red and scratched up.

And now I'm the one who hates my face.

Cupcake Kitchen

I'm not terribly good at window treatments (or home decorating in general--like I've mentioned before, our house is slightly more sophisticated than a dorm room).  I'm not good at figuring out how to make curtains look good, and I'm way too cheap to invest money in good ones.  I'll deal with it.

But I have been looking for some kind of curtain for our kitchen window, mostly because we've had new neighbors move in next door and our houses are REALLY close together.  When I stand at the kitchen sink and look out the kitchen window, I'm essentially staring into an eight-year old girl's window.  Fortunately, she has curtains.  (But the other day I was pacing around the driveway chatting away on the phone when she stood right in her window, behind those curtains, and stared at me.  This kid's like eight, and has apparently watched a lot of scary movies.  I almost shit my pants.) 

So I want something to put in the window for those times I do dishes topless (which I hardly ever do), and to protect me from the creepy little git next door.  (I jest; she's probably fine.)

I was going to use the fun fabric that I found at IKEA, but that would 1.) require some sewing technique, and 2.) be really busy-looking.  Plus, I couldn't figure out exactly where to cut into the print. 

Crisis averted.

When Cassie came over last night to wolf down some Domino's (yeah, pizza tracker!) and to develop an addiction to MTV reality television, she was bearing gifts--super super cute cupcake kitchen towels from IKEA.  !!!!!!

They're fun, and all a little different. 

And we had an  idea.

IKEA cupcake kitchen towel curtains.  Let's do it.

So today I stopped by my local Target (because apparently my body will cease to function if I do not go there at least 6 times per week) and picked up some of those little curtain clips.

Now, I should have ironed these first, but check out how fun!

They're like the sassy first cousins to this cupcake collage I hung in the kitchen a few weeks back:

Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd. . .now I'm hungry.

Enjoy your Thursday.  I'll be spending my Thursday at home, eating yogurt and ice cream, because apparently trying to talk over thirty ninth graders at a time about Shakespeare while they chatter away will make an already-sore throat feel even worse.  It's either that or Ebola.

This and That

Life has been pretty slow around these parts, if only because my current obsession with watching 16 and Pregnant is rapidly causing my brain cells to evaporate.  (But, seriously?  What's wrong with these girls?  What's wrong with their parents?  What's wrong with their boyfriends?  WHY AREN'T WE SLIPPING BIRTH CONTROL INTO SCHOOL LUNCHES??)

So, unless you want to hear about adventures in grading papers (which is almost as bad for the brain as watching 16 and Pregnant) or doing laundry, then I really don't have much to share at this juncture.  Wouldn't be prudent.  

Here's what I've got:

• Got Cassie hooked on 16 and Pregnant as well.  Between the show and the insane commercials that aired throughout, Cassie felt like she was in an alternate universe.  It was pretty fun to watch. 
• Mitch is still the cutest thing of all time.  No surprises there.  He is currently snuggling with me on the couch.  He freaked out earlier today when I was watching 16 and Pregnant and one of the girls was screaming during her really painful contractions.
• I keep wanting to make those strawberry shortcake cookies again, but I'm afraid that I'll get as fat as those girls on 16 and Pregnant.
• Getting pretty excited about the return of The City and The Hills.  I love to ellipt during those shows; hell, they're almost as disturbing as 16 and Pregnant.
• I have a sore throat.  I think it's from yelling at the tv whilst watching 16 and Pregnant.

And I think I might actually be getting sick.  I've been taking my temperature frequently, using both of my thermometers.  I have two because Caitie sent me one after hearing me complain about how my thermometer was broken.  In truth, just because a thermometer does not say that I have a fever when I want proof of how sick I feel, it does not necessarily mean that the thermometer is broken.  Shit.

I should go now, though, because I've only got twenty minutes before the finale of 16 and Pregnant comes on. 

Have you watched this ingenius show?  Is there some meeting I can attend to help fight the addiction?

In Case You Missed It. . .

Last night's SNL was hilarious. Here's my favorite.



My "winning the lotto" fantasy used to be to hire Matt as my manservant, to pay him an exorbitant amount of money, and force him to wear footy pajamas, the ones with the flap on the butt. Now that we're married I guess it'd be "us" winning the lotto. I guess that plan's out. Ugh, marriage really is all about compromise.

Happy Sunday!

(I'd recommend going to the NBC site to watch: "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals," "Snookie Update," and "The Kissing Family.")

A Spinoff of a Spinoff of a Spinoff

Oh, the complexities of MTV reality television. Entertainment Weekly made my Friday, revealing that Kelly Cutrone will be receiving her own show on Bravo. Her show will seemingly be a spinoff of The City, which is a spinoff of The Hills, which is a spinoff of Laguna Beach. I've spent an embarrassing amount of my life watching and rewatching these shows.

[Source]

And I love Kelly. She's a bitch, she's outspoken, and she's super smart. Remember that time she made Lauren fire Stephanie? Or the time she told Allie that she was too skinny and should seek help?

Will you be tuning in to watch Kelly's new show?