Schwinnnnng!

I mentioned before that Matt and I recently purchased a new elliptical trainer.  And, for those of you who are counting, this is our third elliptical.

The good news is that we actually use our home exercise equipment.  (Well, Matt does, anyway.)

The bad news is that we are so grossly fat that we break all of our home exercise equipment.  (Well, I am, anyway.)

Our former elliptical had gotten to the point where it squeaked and thumped and clicked and scraped and was so incredibly loud that I couldn't even be in the room when Matt was ellipting, much less get on it myself.  I would get on for like 15 seconds, and then become irate and frustrated, and then I'd spend the next hour trying to figure out how to stop the noises.  I had some small successes, but more failures--most of which culminated in me kicking the machine and shouting obscenities.

We needed a new one.  And I looked on Craigslist (where we'd gotten the previous two), but didn't see anything too promising.  Plus, it seemed that we needed a machine with a warranty.

So we researched and read up and checked out Consumer Reports.  And we ended up here, drooling over the Schwinn 430.

Four and a half stars with 518 reviewers!  Shoot yeah!  We talked it over for a day or two, and then decided that it was a good investment.  You know, for health and stuff.

And after some headaches with the transit company (What?  They just forgot to put it in the truck???), we had it at home and Cassie and I put it together.

Along with the alan wrench, we had two very important tools: a knife and some wine.  It's common knowledge that when putting together exercise equipment, one will have much more success if he is drinking wine.  Also, I'm pretty sure that that's in the book of Proverbs.  THE BIBLE, people!

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the elliptical.  We totes got that thing together in two hours.  It might not have taken so long had one of our tools not been wine, but it would have been much less fun, too.  Plus, we told Matt that we put it together in 38 minutes.  Pfffffffffft.

Anyway, the new elliptical is out of control wonderful.  It's smooth and silent and smart and has a smaller footprint than the old clunky one.  And it has a warranty in case we break it.  And now I love to ellipt again, and I can do it whilst watching one of the best shows of all time.

Oh, Dylan.

(Ummmmm, Kelly totes just got shot, y'all.  And Brandon was so precise in describing the shooter to the detective and the detective was all, "Are you sure about this?" and Brandon was all, "Yes, I'm positive.  And I'll tell you something else.  You put him in front of me, and I'll kill him."  All this after the gang returned from Donna's Hawaiian work trip where she completely ruined the modeling shoot and David fell down a cliff when he was trying to tie his hiking boot!  AND!  They were all wearing these hideous long pastel dresses.  The gals from Beverly Hills were looking more like the women from Juniper Creek to me.)

The best part of the new elliptical, though, is that it has a feature that allows me to see into the future.

I see. . .





. . .in about two months. . . .







. . .Matt at the beach. . .

. . .and me, too!

This thing is magical!

Weekend Fun

We had a boring, quiet weekend all lined up, and then on Friday I got an email from Hugh (the other part of Hugh and Cassie) saying that he'd be in the SAV for the night.  It was an almost-reunion for our Savannah family (minus Cassie, who was away on a girls' weekend).  Shoot yeah!  We ate and laughed and drank and then ate more because the drink had taken effect and then laughed even harder.  And then I woke up the next morning with a wine headache so bad that I have sworn off wine for at least six days.  Also, I don't have any pictures to show you from Hugh's visit because I forgot to take my camera.

Oh, wait!  Yes I do!  I just remembered!  (see: too much wine drinking).

Also, Brian had 10 pairs of these sunglasses that his mom sent him because they were $.50/each and he's terrible about losing sunglasses.  He was willing to part with one of the pairs, though, and Hugh, for the rest of the night, would incorporate the word sports into what he was saying, and would slowly turn his head to the side and graze the side of the sunglasses with his finger.  When I talked to Cassie this afternoon, she mentioned that Hugh had received some cheap plastic sunglasses during his visit and that he refused to take them off in the house.  Apparently he was playing some indoor sports.

That was the height of excitement for our weekend.  We spent the remaining hours bemoaning Friday night's poor judgment, playing Mario 3*, making marshmallows, catching up with my Brothers & Sisters (both real and fictional), sleeping until 1:00, watching Mad Men, and pretty much just wishing we were as badass as this kid.**

Um, yeah, that kid is riding a skateboard AND playing a trumpet at the same time.  I can do neither of those things.**

How was your weekend?


*Damn you, world 5 airship and fortress!


**Cool: a kid who rides up and down the street on a skateboard while playing the trumpet.  Not cool: the creepy lady who gets caught taking a picture of the kid from her living room window.***


***Guess we're not going to be friends with those neighbors after all.

Blast from the Past

If you don't hear from me, or if you call and I don't answer, well, it's probably because I got this for my birthday from one super husband.

Um, yeah, that's Marios 1, 2, and 3.  And some lost level game that I never played.  And there's also a soundtrack.  How am I dealing with having turned 30?  By regressing, of course, and channeling my 11-year old self, the master of all things Mario World.

So, don't be mad if I'm MIA for a while.  If you need me, I'll be in the guest room turning myself into raccoons and statues and defeating Koopas, yelling and screaming at the TV and scaring the dog (who may or may not really be a king who's been transformed!).

Don't Forget the Pups!

I love to bake.

BUT, I am about two cookies and a Spicy Chicken Go Wrap away from looking like this.

So I decided to bake for the pups instead. It is Mitchmas, after all. And I made a score today when I found a squirrel-shaped cookie cutter to use for Mitch treats.

Since I don't want Wii Fit to tell me I am obese, since all of my friends seem to have pups, and since Mitch goes BANANAS! for them, I made about 300 doggie treats today.

Mitch was by my side. He loves the dough.

And I love my tiny bone cookie cutter. I mean, come on. Is there anything more adorable than homemade pup treats that are the size of a quarter?

Oh yeah, there's Mitchell Pancake. . .

. . .who has never been through obedience training.

Here's the recipe. Make them. Your pup will thank you.

Dog Treats from Annie's Eats
Ingredients:
1 cup rolled oats
5 1/3 tbsp. unsalted butter, cut into 5 pieces
1 cup boiling water
3/4 cup cornmeal
2 tsp. sugar
2 tsp. beef bouillon granules
1/2 cup milk
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
1 egg, beaten
3 cups whole wheat flour

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine the rolled oats, butter, and boiling water. Let stand for 10 minutes. Grease cookie sheets.

Add the cornmeal, sugar, beef bouillon, milk, Cheddar cheese, and egg to the bowl. Mix well. Stir in the whole wheat flour, 1 cup at a time, until a stiff dough has formed. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead, adding additional flour if necessary until the dough is smooth and no longer sticky.

Divide the dough in half. Working with one half at a time, roll the dough out with a rolling pin to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut with a cookie cutter and space evenly on prepared baking sheets. Reroll remaining dough scraps and continue cutting until all dough has been used.

Bake 35-45 minutes in the preheated oven, until golden brown. Let cool completely.

Happy baking!

Dinner Party: Lesson #2

It probably makes us a cliche, or seems like a post from Stuff White People Like, but the Wii is a great way to burn off those calories from spinach dip and booze.
Matthew's victory dance.

What's even more entertaining is when Matt goes all "Matty Dearest" on a 6-year old, demolishing her in a game of bowling with his record score of 257. She's a little girl, Matt! Where's your sportsmanship?

Why does Jillian Michaels hate me?

Summer is fast approaching, which, among other things, means that it's time for me to stop being a disgusting fatbody and start exercising regularly. I saw a picture of myself the other day and thought I was going to have to give Matt a chef's knife and dustbuster to get some of the fat out of my arms. But, really, that would probably be more trouble than it's worth.

Last summer I did a pretty good job of exercising/eating right/losing weight, and I hope to repeat that performance this summer. I've introduced a couple more ways of exercising to our home: the elliptical machine and Jillian Michaels, sadist.

Last time I attempted the 30 Day Shred I was about 6 glasses of wine deep and decided with my friend Cassie that we should do it. I also decided that I would follow Natalie, the advanced workout girl, rather than Anita, the wussy one. As a result, for the next five days I could not use stairs or sit down in a chair without holding on to something (also, we only did the first five minutes). I spent most of that time looking like this:


Well, in a lapse of judgment, I decided to order the DVD for myself. It came today, and I decided to give it a whirl tonight. I actually finished, and I did realize that those first five minutes are the most difficult for me, which provided a sliver of encouragement. After I was done, though, I thought I was going to throw up. And not an exaggerated "stick-figure-decals-make-me-want-to-throw-up" kind of throw up. This was a real, nauseous, sick to my stomach feeling. Matt said that I shouldn't have over-exerted myself, but I believe that the nausea had more to do with today's steady diet of cupcakes and margaritas than it did with the 20 minutes of exercise.

I wish cupcakes made people skinny.