Gratitude

I don't have to talk to a teenager again until Monday. 

Thank you, veterans.

Happy Two-Hundred Thirty-Fourth, America!

This weekend, wanting to celebrate our nation's birthday in style, we packed up the car and headed to Augusta for a somewhat impromptu visit.  Hugh was butterflying chickens, and Mitch just seemed a little too comfortable in his day-to-day life, so it was what I'd consider a necessary trip.

The visit itself was pretty uneventful (unless you consider my brush with a homicidal toad an event), but it was relaxing and fun.  We enjoyed food, and friends, and laughs, and dogs, and drinks, and more drinks and food and friends and laughs and dogs. I think we made Mitch sing "I Will Always Love You" about fifteen different times. And Fletcher and Mitch are finally coming around to being the best of friends (well, almost). Although none of us ate 54 hot dogs in ten minutes, this morning I felt like maybe I had, and then perhaps blacked out because of hot dog consumption.

Hugh = Old Man River

Fletcher = beauty dog

[above: Matt and I demonstrate how "civilized" we are by using cloth napkins.  This was about five minutes before I showed off my amazing corn on the cob eating skills and then choked.  I did that twice.]

Toad the Murderer

You'll have to visit Cassie's blog to hear more about the food and the weekend's menu.  Right now I'd like to just drink some water and go to bed.  Celebrating the birthday of a nation is hard work!

What'd you do this weekend?

Happy Birthday, America. (A Post from Mitch)

Hey you guys.  It's me, Mitch.  I know it's been a long time since I've written on here, and I'm sorry about that.  Geesh, I'm getting to be as bad as my dad is about being a bloggin' dog.  Anyway, I hope you've managed to get through your days without my updates.  I'll try to be better.

I haven't been up to too much lately.  My mom made treats for me the other day, and I've been having a lot of fun burying them in the bed and in the couch.  I've been going to the park with my mom a lot, and meeting other dogs.  Plus, I have two new dog neighbors now, which is fun because sometimes at night we like to all go outside and howl at the ambulances.  It's sooooooooooo funny, you guys.  I mean, I'll be all "ooout-a-woooo!" and Toby'll be all "ooouuut-a-woooo-wooo!" and then Rider'll be all "yappa-wooo!"  It's a riot.  Not like a riot in L.A., but like a fun party-like riot.

Tomorrow my mom and dad and I are driving to Augusta to visit Uncle Hugh and Aunt Cassie and Fletcher, my cousin that I say I hate (but that I secretly love--my wagging tail gives it away), Fletcher. (It's actually the one-year Fletchiversary--so it's been exactly one year since I've had a peaceful visit with Aunt Cassie and Uncle Hugh).  We're going to eat homemade treats and run around the yard and celebrate our freedom and celebrate the fact that we live in a pretty darn great country. 

Here's what I love about our country.

I love that we have a Humane Society, where moms and dads can find dog children of their own.  I love that people can own as many dogs as they want.  I love that I can bark whenever I want and bark whatever I want.  I love that we have awesome entertainment in America (um, hello, Air Bud franchise!).  I love parks that have water fountains for dogs.  I love restaurants that have outdoor seating and waitresses that give me a bowl of water.  I love watching kids practice football at the park.  I love the smell of grilling in the summer. 

Now, if only America would work on two things:

1. I think it'd be better if I could just be off my leash at the park, and pretty much everywhere. 
2. The fireworks need to go.

Seriously.  I'm a patriot dog and all, but I can not stand the booms of fireworks.  I mean, I howl the "Star-Spangled Banner" with the best of 'em, and I watch Glenn Bark every night.  I love to take time to reflect on those people and animals that have helped to make our country what it is today; I just don't see why we have to have big fire booms in the sky to show our appreciation.

Oh, and the taxes.  Sometimes, after I have a long day of work in my tie collar, I just want to have all of that money to myself to buy treats and toys.  Why do I have to give some of it to the government?  Oh yeah, so that I can have parks that have water fountains for dogs.  Fine. 

But we can all agree on the fireworks, right?

For Real, Though, Who Threw That Pan at Me?

Spring break has been spectacular.  The weather has been so perfect that it's seemed fake, I've got a tiny bit of sunburn on the backs of my legs--not enough to hurt, but enough to remind me that summer is fast approaching--and I haven't been this relaxed in a loooooooooooong time.  I'd be a damned liar if I didn't admit that I miss my child:

But my birthday gift from Matt's parents is helping to soothe the pain.  If I haven't said it before, I have some of the greatest in-laws around. 

This has nothing to do with anything, really, but I want to share a story.  Back at JMU, one of my friends was buying beer at the local Food Lion.  Ahead of her in line was a gigantic woman wearing a mu-mu (moo-moo?) who was buying a single toothbrush.  When she moved forward to pay for her toothbrush, an entire ham fell out from underneath her mu-mu.  She looked around, seemingly surprised, and yelled out, "FOR REAL, THOUGH, WHO THREW THAT HAM AT ME?"

Happy Easter!

(Matt and I spent the last two hours watching Breaking Bad, and now we're watching What a Girl Wants.  I'm definitely having bad dreams tonight.)

Green Velvet Cupcakes

It's St. Patrick's Day.  I don't care.  I might have cared more if the day fell on a Friday or Saturday, but since I have to work tomorrow, and since I have no interest in running into my students downtown while drunk off my ass, I've opted instead to sleep, shop, and bake.

In fact, it was last year's St. Patrick's Day when I first attempted to make a cake from scratch.  The cake wasn't so good, too vanilla-y, but it was enough to get me interested in baking from scratch, a hobby that's been great fun, but that's kept me hugely fat.  Oh well.  What can you do?

For today's baking adventure, I decided to make green velvet cupcakes, with some kind of cooked delicious icing. 

This is actually my first attempt at red velvet (green for today) cupcakes, for several reasons.

1. I'm not a huge chocolate eater.
2. I'm intimidated by chocolate desserts.
3. When I was a teenager one of my aunts became obsessed with red velvet cake for a few months, and told me that she'd eaten so much red velvet cake that she pooped red.  I thought that was gross, even though I'd experienced a similar fate when I ate an entire package of tongue splashers bubble gum.

So I'd left it alone, even though it seems to be a favorite of everyone on earth.  But Bakerella's little green velvet cakes were pretty, and I had all of the ingredients on hand, so I went for it.

Mine were not as pretty, but they tasted pretty good, which was a relief to me because the recipe calls for a combination of oil and vinegar instead of butter, and I find any baking recipe that neglects to use butter, well, suspect. 

If this combination of liquid ingredients doesn't make you salivate, I don't know what will.

I also found some cute cupcake liners that seemed appropriate for the occasion while sheet shopping today at HomeGoods. 

My cupcakes were not nearly as pretty as Bakerella's (that bitch!), but at least they tasted good.

The icing was really good, but I did something wrong with it.  I messed it up by either using buttermilk instead of milk (need to get through my thick head that they are not interchangeable) or by mixing it too much in the mixer.  Tasted great, looked weird.  Not poisonous, I swear.

Then I talked to both Grandmas on the phone, and took a nap on the couch, which seems to be one of my body's only defense mechanisms against the uterine rebellion that's currently taking place.  Stupid womanhood, ruining my life.

Oh, and I went onto the Book of Faces and unfriended almost every single person I'm related to, with a few exceptions.  It seems that the mood swings brought on by the uterine rebellion gave me just enough nerve to do it.  At least there's a silver lining, right?