Slightly Classier than Dan Conner

A conversation between Dan and Fred on the critically acclaimed television show, Roseanne.

Fred: Dan, these christmas lights are pretty tangled. Why don't you just buy a new string?

Dan: That'd be a fairly large investment, Fred.

Fred: Why didn't you take the time last year and put those things away carefully?

Dan: Like that's how I want to spend my Easter Sunday.

Well, party people, I finally did it--I took down the Christmas lights.  And it's not even Easter! (Granted, Easter is kind of late this year, but still.)  So, the lights that basically told all of our neighbors that we are fun (if not a little, um, unsophisticated) and cool are gone for now.  And the lanterns that have been packed away in a box because they were too ratty and faded and full of bees have made a comeback.  Here's the skinny.

It's home improvement season here at M Cubed*, and I've got myself a big ol' long list of tasks to complete.  One of them was to save myself some cash by rehabilitating the lanterns in the Carport Bistro.  I'm cheap, and I didn't want to pay $40 for more just because of some silly little bee nests and faded colors.

So I turned to spraypaint. And I'm really pleased with how they turned out.

Aren't they pretty?  I just hope the lizards still like them.



*What is it with me and the early '90s ABC sitcom references today?  Oh man, don't even get me started on Coach or Full House.**
 
**Also, this wasn't an ABC sitcom I don't think, but my students don't get Saved by the Bell references.  If that doesn't make you feel old, then I don't know what will.  Are you sufficiently depressed?***
 
***Also, this has nothing to do with TV shows from the early '90s, really, but yesterday I overheard one of my students say that Elvis died in a snowboarding accident.  Ha!

Leopold the Lizard

Leopold the Lizard, just what do you think you're doing on that lantern?

Lanterns aren't for lizards!

I don't care if it's warm in there.

Stop looking at me!

You're freaking me out.

Carport Bistro and Killer Bees

I've been reading lots of stuff lately about having an outdoor eating area, which is really appealing to me (probably in the way that camping is appealing to me--I want to like it, but I don't). Anyway, I have attempted to transform our dirty little carport into something more.

The carport, unglamorous though it is, has been where Matt and I have had many a late night conversation. It wasn't a bad space before, but I love it now.

Before:


And $35 later. May I show you around the Carport Bistro? (Matt thought I was joking when I said that I was going to make a sign. Ha!)

First, we stole a table from the neighbor who has moved away. Nobody was using it.

I threw on a citronella candle, a gardenia bush from Publix, a cute tablecloth and some placemats.

And bought some beauteous white paper lantern lights. Paper lantern lights--particularly the white ones--make me really, really happy.

One thing that doesn't make me happy: BEES! As soon as it was dark and I had the lantern lights on, a swarm of bees entered the Carport Bistro. Perhaps they were excited about the grand opening?

Dammit. Anybody know how to get rid of bees? F it. We're having dinner out here tomorrow night, bees or no bees. I'll just channel the spirit of Idgie Threadgoode from Fried Green Tomatoes. It'll be fine.