Fiscal Conservative in Name Only--Hilarious

THIS IS A REAL COMMERCIAL.



I think you're going to smile a little bit. Especially around 2:25.

Eye Might Puke.

Matt and I are big fans of the boneless skinless chicken breast. Because we found them on sale for $1.99/pound, our freezer is currently full of them. Like, full full. But that's not my story.

You see, last night, while we were whipping up an old favorite meal, Ana y Jose chicken (cajun chicken breasts with jalapeno cheese melted on top--fancy, I know). I took my nicely thawed chicken breasts and began to trim them up, and to pound them with what I call my meat hammer. I think the official name is a meat tenderizer, but I prefer meat hammer.



And I was pounding away at the chicken, holding my hand up to keep chicken bits or juice from flying all over everything when--I want to puke just thinking about it--a piece of raw chicken flew into my eye. Not my eyelid or near my eye. It flew directly onto my eyeball. As you might imagine, I freaked out and started rubbing my eye. Only, I had somehow gotten cajun spice on my hands, so my eye started to burn. I had to go to the bathroom to flush out my eye with water, and I pulled the eyelid away from my eye to see if I could see the RAW CHICKEN.

Raw chicken in my eye.

Well, I didn't see anything, so I decided that it must be okay.

I was wrong.

When I was getting ready for school this morning, I looked in the mirror and saw a really big sleepie. (What do you call the gunk that gathers in the corner of your eye? I call them sleepies. Others call them sheepshit. Is there a scientific term for overnight eye gunk?) Only, it wasn't a sleepie. It was the chicken.

So, party people, there you have it. Raw chicken in my eye overnight.

Excuse me while I vomit and schedule a doctor's appointment for my eyeball salmonella.